I just know that people have been waiting for this. I've had people
ask me when I was going to tear into this story. I've heard statements
ranging from "This is the worst X-Men story ever told" to "Alan Davis was
involved with THIS??" which pretty much boils down to the same thing, really.
Basically, the Magneto War storyline sucked. Not many have come forth to
dispute this claim.
Let's be starting off with the prelude, in X-Men 85, since it leads
into the story somewhat. This issue gave me hope for the storyline.
Magneto disguises himself in a business suit (Looks quite respectable,
really) and talks with a normal everyday worker guy about mutants.
Meanwhile the X-Men make an appearance, since it is their comic, trying
to save children from a fire. The cops assume the worst when they come
out, and train their sights on them. Storm talks them down, and it's
all good. Back with the Magneto plot, the worker made the mistake of
comparing the mutant plight to Hitler, and asks the ages-old question,
"If you could kill Hitler as a child, would you?" Magneto responds
rather harshly, and torments Bill, until Bill concedes that mutants
are a pox on the Earth. Up until now, he had been giving a rather
interesting response about cohabitation. Magneto flies off to his new
Arctic base where he begins his plot to force the humans to concede to his
demands.
A good jumping on point for new readers, it showcased the powers of
the characters involved, and gave us a look into Magneto's head, however
frightening that prospect may be. Magneto's characterization may be a bit
off, in some people's minds though. That was the big complaint I heard from
most people about this issue. Let's think about this though. The guy has
been aged, de-aged, re-aged, cloned, copied, killed, shot through the Earth's
magnetosphere, and a numerous other forms of torture. That's gotta change a man.
Now the fun begins. As does the crossover. In a special issue with
special paper and more pages. With a 3 dollar price tag. And it turned out
this had nothing to do with the Magneto War. The X-Men's dreams are invaded
by a new Acolyte, Rem-Ram, trying to find information about their missing 'god'
Magneto. A fight ensues, and Magneto lets the Acolytes go, to track them to
their base.
While I liked this issue, and had some good looks into the heads of
our heroes, it didn't have much of a story, and didn't have much to do with
the crossover. Thoroughly missable in the grand scheme of things. Oh, and
there was also a good scene with Quicksilver and the man who could be his
father Magneto with amnesia and a younger face, Joseph. Although this is
under question, since some guy called Magneto is apparently terrorizing
construction workers.
Finally, we get to the start of the story with Uncanny 366. The
X-Men are flying after a group of Acolytes. Which is a TOTALLY DIFFERENT
group from the ones they let loose earlier. Insert fight scenes, Magneto
brooding, and then we learn that Joseph IS Magneto, but also a forgery. He's
then captured by an unnamed woman, and finally Magneto sends out an
electromagnetic pulse (EMP) and the X-Men's blackbird crashes into the snow,
as the Acolytes get away.
O.K., where did this group of Acolytes come from? And what happened
to the other group? We don't see them for the rest of the storyline! And
to top it off, half the Acolytes we see are dead (some in rather definitive
ways) and one was expelled from the team. Twice.
Moving on to X-Men 86, the long awaited origin of Joseph. The cover
text proclaims "At long last -- the shocking origin of the most mysterious
mutant of ALL!" If you're like me, you would see that and think Wolverine,
maybe Gambit finally gets an origin, but noooo, we get...Joseph.
Turns out he's not a clone, but a transporter copy of Magneto,
de-aged, and his mental blocks removed. What, exactly, is the difference
between this and a clone? Damned if I know. He was created by a member of
the original Brotherhood of Evil Mutants, who was angry for years at Magneto.
So angry, we've never seen her. Ever. She went after Magneto with her clone
(Sorry, COPY!) and they ran off to fight. Magneto cracked Joseph in the back
of the skull with a piece of machinery at a speed of 500 kilometers per hour.
Miraculously, Joseph still has a head.
Oh, and the Russians fire some nukes at Magneto set to detonate if
any electromagnetic force touches them. They somehow manage to make it deep
into the EMP without detonating, and finally go off when Magneto lashes out
at them. The X-Men, still trudging through the snow, quickly dig a hole to
bury themselves in when the shockwave hits them. I mean, to protect them.
By this time, I am REALLY sick of the Magneto font, as I've begun
calling it, that they've used on all the covers thus far.
We're almost done though, we're up to Uncanny 367. Which didn't use
the Magneto font outside of the Magneto War title at the top of the cover.
More fight scenes, more Astra (the mystery woman) tormenting Joey,
and Xavier mind controls the Acolytes into fighting them so they leave their
protected ship, enabling the X-Men to steal it. Sure, he could've put them
to sleep, but we have five issues to waste here! Issue ends with the
magnetosphere and atmosphere of Earth collapsing due to Astra, and Magneto
and Joseph fighting. There's only so much I can say about fighting the
Acolytes over and over, really.
At last, X-Men 87, the conclusion! More fights, with Magneto and
Astra, Astra drops some hints that she knew Nightcrawler when he was young,
and escapes, and Joey sacrifices himself to repair the damage done to the
Earth. And Magneto is given the island nation of Genosha to form his mutant
sanctuary, by the UN.
This was actually a decent issue. Had some good characterization of
Magneto, Wolverine, and Rogue, all showing personalities and opinions. And
it's over. Finally.
There was one good thing about this storyline. The art. Alan Davis
on X-Men, and Lenil Yu on Uncanny. Lee Weeks did the Magneto War special,
as well. But pretty pictures do not a classic make. This story is best
forgotten, aside from the totally unexpected Genosha bit, which was a pleasant surprise.
In closing, due to various factors, I have decided to drop four of
the x-titles. Uncanny X-Men, X-Men, Cable, and X-Man. If you've been
following the recent news, you know why, but I'll be covering the details of
this next month. Unless something else catches my eye. I've got a lot to
rant about, so the column shall go on for now.
Take care, and keep reading decent comics. Leave the bad stuff to me.
