Star Wars : The Phantom Storyline

Did anyone out there like Jar Jar? Meso didn't thinkso.

This movie was missing something.. what was it.. oh yeah, a POINT.

The dialogue was so badly scripted and awkward that I was embarrassed for the actors. The computer animated graphics were so heavy handed I got the distinct impression I was watching claymation.

I understand the lack of a strong story, to a degree - it is, afterall, the first of three. I just wasn't impressed enough to actually want to see the next two.

My ranking is 2.5 out of 10. Shame on you, Lucas!

Now, onto the specific plot problems -

------------SPOILERS---------------

Was I the only person who knew that the handmaiden was really the queen? No, I didn't recognize her as Natalie Portman, it just seemed so obvious and contrived. The second they decided she was going to go into town with them I knew.

Was it a surprise that the older Jedi guy died? Hmm.. you start off knowing that Obi Wan trains Anakin. Obi was so against the older guy taking Ani in, that's when I knew that the older guy was going to die.

Was the fight scene between the Jedi and the Sith a bit too choreographed? It felt like watching an episode of professional wrestling.

Was the older guy a bit too "familiar" with Ani's mom or was it just me? There wasn't anything in particular, just the way he looked at her and the way he talked to her, the way he touched her. Maybe I'm just looking for stuff like that.

Speaking of Ani's mom, wasn't the immaculate conception thing a bit over the top?

The animation on the pod racing was atrocious.

Jar Jar. I'm not even going to go there.

The Federation members had these horrible mocking-like Chinese accents. It was embarrassing.

I'm not going to get into the queen's costumes.

The relationship between the queen and Ani wasn't really developed at all. I assume it was brother/sisterly, but they didn't really seem to bond well.

---------PREDICTIONS-----------

I think the old Jedi guy will be revealed as Ani's dad. Actually I don't, but that'd be interesting.

Obviously Ani is going to go rescue the slaves of Naboo next episode.

Who is Ani going to impregnate? Hm. Interesting twist would be the queen (who wouldn't have aged in the twenty or so years).

Or maybe he will also have an immaculate conception and pop out Luke and Leia.

That's it! He will be revealed as some sort of asexual worm creature!

The master Sith will appear in the last part of the second episode.

Not that I'm going to be suckered into seeing the next one.