Ah, another month, another heat wave. Love the summer, I do, really. Our well is near empty, I can't shower, and I'm looking more and more like the stereotypical fanboy each day. Something else happens in the summer, though. Big stupid crossover fight comics! They're almost a tradition.
And this year, we get out big fight crossover from none other than Chris Claremont himself. The man of expository dialogue that drones on forever. I still love his writing, though. There's just something about it. Or maybe they lace the pages with an addictive substance. No wait, that's anything written by Warren Ellis, my bad.
What? Writing a column? Oh yeah...
Well, anyways, this time, Claremont is writing a sequel to the early `80s miniseries Contest of Champions, imaginatively entitled Contest of Champions II. Admittedly, it's an interesting idea, but done purely for the `kewl' factor of seeing heroes fight heroes for no good reason. Surprisingly, Claremont does give us some logic as to why they're fighting. The heroes are being controlled by nanites. Which the discovery of leads to what has to be the worst bit of expositional dialogue I have ever read.
Iron Man realizes what they are, and thinks to himself, "Nanites! They're robots, as sophisticated as they are deadly, designed to perform tasks on a cellular level." This...I can't put into words how bad I think this is. It's like me seeing a picture of Rachel Summers and thinking about her whole history, and identity. And no, I DON'T do this. No, really.
And it gets worse! Claremont totally ignores the last 8 years or so of X-Men continuity (as does the editor) and has Psylocke fighting with her telepathic powers (see my rant about Psi-War for more details on that).
Aside from these few points, and some other overly long dialogue, the issue really wasn't so bad. I'll keep getting the next few, to see how things pan out.
One thing is sure, in some cases, it was loads of fun to read certain characters, like Rogue, who got totally screwed over when Scott Lobdell took over when Chris left the X-Men, sounding like her old self again.
On a totally different note, some people took offense to last month's column, my bashing of Liefeld in particular, and the new Cable creative team, in general. I still stand by my opinions, and would like to stress that this column is just that. My opinions. If you like Liefeld, and what he is doing over in Cable, for the few issues he's doing, then more power to you. It just ain't my cup of tea.
And that, my friends (and enemies) is the sum totality of my writing for this month. If you're looking for some mindless fights, go check out Contest of Champions II, currently on sale. If you're not, go read Gambit or anything by Ellis. Those addictive chemicals are fun.
