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It was one of those uninspired months. So here I was at the
deadline with no idea what to do. Then it came to me - almost
like a bolt of inspiration from the heavens (or like someone
telling me) - I could write my column on the Top Ten Things I
Could Write About So My Editor Would Not Kill Me.
Amazing! Lo and behold, the first one that I can think of,
number ten on the list is quickly jotted down.
I was inspired, thanks to the great editor, once again. I only
wish everyone could be so lucky.
Here it is, for your enjoyment (or at least, a waste of a few
minutes of your time).
The Top Ten Reasons that Being a GM is like Being a Parent
(only better)
- Because I said so. If thats not good enough, then you can
say so too.
- It would be really nice if a roll of the dice (modified by your
parenting skill modifier) could actually get your kids to listen to you.
- Can we say poof button? ***
- With many years of loving (or cruel) care, children (and
players) can grow up and turn out just how you want them to
be. For players, though, you only have to worry about getting
stuck with the pizza bill.
- Sending your kid to bed early without TV privileges for a
week might be the start of a long bout of sullenness. Sending the
mage NamLacig Am to bed without crystal ball privileges for a
week is a great way to have some bad guys get the drop on
your players.
- Babies, although some call them cute, are really pretty messy.
Of course, so are players, especially if theres pizza involved.
Guess this ones a tie.
- "When you have your own gaming group, you can GM how
you want" becomes a fanciful thing . . . its almost like children
taking care of you when youre older (but more likely).
- Both players and children sometimes like to run away and
hide, not going where you want them to. Parents can only
worriedly look around the store. GMs can make the coat racks
attack the players until they get back on track.
- When players ask for advances on their characters treasure,
so as to buy the fabled Really Big Sword of Killing Things Pretty
Easily, you dont have to worry about them playing with it in the
house and ruining your stuff.
- Both children and players need a guiding hand in life. After
a long day, this can be equally exhausting. Then the players go home.
*** Authors note: The poof button is a mystical device held by
the GM in games that me and my group play in. With one hit of
this, boring, dull, and unnecessary parts of a game can be
whisked away faster than you could channel surf past CSPAN.
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