Great X-pectations by Jason M. Bourgeois

Everything Old is New Again

This month, I’ll kind of be hopping around to a number of things I want to touch on, so let’s just dive right in.

First off, the continuing stupidity of New X-Men. Which, if this keeps up, could be a column all it’s own every month. Something like, "Why Morrison Sucks". Now, before this goes too far, let me start off by reiterating for those joining the party late, I do like some of Morrison’s work, mostly his creator owned stuff, or that featuring all-new characters. His work in an established universe just strains the suspension of disbelief, and changes the characters into unrecognizable ciphers that suit his own agenda, and aren’t the ‘real’ characters anymore.

I’ve come across many complaints about the X-Men already being ruined before Morrison came along, and actually, that’s a fair point. Unfortunately, Morrison has taken the current level of the ruined state the X-Men, and gone above and beyond the ruining call of duty and slammed the book deep into the pit of ruinocity.

Before, you could at least point at a character, for the most part, and say, "Hey! That’s Jean Grey! She’s a bit whiny, and clingy, but that’s pretty much Jean!" Now, you’re not so sure. She acts nothing like any previous version, did not evolve, and was just suddenly replaced by this new character who’s got red hair and boobs, and *might* be Jean, but you’re not really sure. She says she’s Jean, but sure doesn’t act or even look like it.

Yes, the art still sucks mightily more often than not.

Now, we have a new character named Fantomex. Morrison has gone on record as saying he hates characters whose powers, looks, and name don’t mesh, in at least two out of those three. So, what’s a Fantomex, and what does that have to do with his powers and look? And what’s the deal with him pouring liquid over his head all the time?

"Ooooh! I’m Fantomex! I pour orange juice over my head! I am quirky! I am kewl! Morrison writes me! Love me!!"

Sorry, I’m a bit incensed over all this.

This brings me to Morrison’s other quirk that’s bugging the crap out of me. His habit of having characters come in, and spout off some strange sounding thing that, again, is just to sound cool. Such as "Corporal Animal," who runs around saying such witty, insightful things as "I am death given human form!" and is said to not have any human thoughts of his own for the telepaths to control. Which they then proceed to do anyways, wasting minutes of my life, and pages of my comic.

So, Jean and Chuck are running around, mentally commanding around soldiers, tossing ethics out the window whenever it comes to humans, which they’ve been doing almost his entire run, and reveling in this behavior. Then, when it comes to mutants, they don’t do a thing, such as when Fantomex, holding a disk that could save the dying X-Men team in some tunnels, and they could snatch it out of his hand, or even the safe he sticks it into, but don’t, for no plausible reason.

There are, of course, several possible explanations. Fantomex is a mutant, and thus above reproach, but it’s ok to be naughty and unethical to the humans, continuing the stupidity, and mischaracterization that has been rampant in Morrison’s run. Or, the characters are just too dumb to think of it. Again, against character. Finally, it could just be that Morrison is a bad writer, and needs the characters to do this, to show that his character is either cool, or to tell the story he wants.

A writer who forces characters to behave uncharacteristically is not a good writer, or just not understood, he’s a bad writer who does not have a grasp of the characters, or even care.

And, I’ve had it. This issue sitting in my hands is the last issue of New X-Men I will be purchasing regularly until Morrison is gone. I just don’t care to read about...whoever these characters are. Let me know when the X-Men are actually in their own book again.

For reference, almost everything above is found in just the newest issue, and after the last one (see last month’s column for that rant), it’s the straw that broke the camel’s back. Yes, these last two issues pissed me off that much.

I was going to talk about other things, wasn’t I? Oh well. I can sum that up pretty much with the following:

Casey is off Uncanny X-Men now! Yay! Can Morrison go next?


    Jason M Bourgeois


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Copyright © 2002 Jason M. Bourgeois

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