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These were the thoughts running through my head as we
searched for it. This was my wife and my first year
going out there by ourselves, and we foolishly trusted
the judgment of online maps, rather than those cool
origami traps that you can pick up from the AAA.
Perhaps this was our fatal flaw. Perhaps I should
have gotten driving directions for the correct
address.
Getting lost actually turned out to be fun. I learned
a lot more about downtown San Diego than I had ever
known I would want to know. However, that gas station
employee started to give me odd looks the tenth time
that I passed by him. Ah well. I thought he was kind
of odd when he threatened my life if I didnt have
exact change.
It was at that exact moment that I realized we really
were in California.
The Con was wild. We managed to get lost again right
off the bat, this time it wasnt even my fault. We
were looking for our press passes, and were kindly
guided by a variety of security folks to all of the
wrong places. This was to be a theme of our trip out
there. I should have known when that gas station
attendant cast four shadows.
Having picked up our press passes, we proceeded into
the mass of flesh and latex. The whole experience was
more of a stream of consciousness sort of thing for
me. I think this has to do with a combination of
sleep deprivation, and the weird machines the hotel
had put next door to alter my brainwaves (at least,
thats the only thing I could think of that would make
horrible beeping noises in the middle of the night . . . I
know I left my alarm clock at home).
This being said, Ill focus on the things I learned
from this trip:
- Dont expect to find any parking unless you expect
to park the night before. Remember, the people you
are competing against are the same people that waited
outside of the theater for three days to see Episode
1. On a related side note, dont mess with parking
attendants as they have lots of official looking
tickets and are quick to charge you.
- Beware the Indie booths! If you make eye contact,
they will use their mind powers and suck out your
soul! Or at least, make you buy their comic or feel
guilty!
- If I was Chewbacca, then I might get 20 bucks for an
autograph. Maybe not.
- Security guards might serve a purpose, but its
certainly not in giving accurate directions.
- At Marvel, its obviously not the size of your booth
that matters.
- There are all sorts of nasty meanings that you can
get from the name Crossgen. Oh well, at least they
had a bigger booth than Marvel.
- An 8 oz bottle of water takes as much effort to fill
as it takes to write your average comic book. It
must, since they cost the same.
- Walking from one side of the Con to the other
because someones booth moved really sucks.
- Edward Scissorhands has a really easy time eating
pretzels.
- If youre a famous comic book/strip writer, women
may ask you to sign their breasts. No wonder there
are so many guys in the industry . . .
- Dorkboy rocks!
- So does Sluggy! (More on that later)
- Mark Hamill wants me to be in his movie! Oh . . . he
wants all these other people too . . .
- Gary Owens really does sound like Space Ghost in
real life.
- Del Ray uses Stormtroopers to keep con-goers in
line.
- Darth Vader had two brothers, both of which were
much shorter than him, and sounded more like Danny
DeVito than James Earl Jones.
- The thought of a Klingon in a giant Hasbro Star Wars
figure box isnt as funny to some people as it is to
me.
- Plan 9 Publishings booth was way too small (but at
least it was bigger than Marvels).
- Cthulhu for President! Why Vote for the Lesser of
Two Evils?
- Giving out free, super-ugly orange t-shirts might
not be the best way to get people to buy your product.
- Most people had no idea what TokyoPop had in their
booth, but they gave away really cool bags.
- After going to the Con, you will end up with about
20% more stuff than you remember picking out. I think
its reverse pickpocketing. I know I got stuff I
wanted to put in someone elses bag.
- When the Spaghetti Factory tells you its an hour
long wait, its just a trick to thin out the crowds.
- How did Tolkiens elves ever win? Their weapons are
so much wussier than Orc swords.
- Cave Trolls look really big in real life. I bet one
would get to cut right to the front of the line to get
Todd Macfarlanes autograph.
- All new video games remind me of Super Mario World.
- Sergio Aragones can turn invisible. Really. He was
there until I turned around.
- Dressing up as Han Solo frozen in carbonite might
seem like a cool idea, until about the 500th time that
someone slaps you five.
Well, thats about it. Im sure I learned other
valuable tidbits of information, but Ive since
forgotten them.
At the Con, I did manage to get two interviews done,
one with Pete Abrams.
Both of these will be showing up in a future
Collectortimes, or at least whenever I get the tape
from my editor.
I would like to say a few things about Pete. Before
that, I would like to say something to Pete:
"Sorry!"
Poor guy was completely exhausted. I suspect his
hotel had him near a brainwashing machine as well.
Plus, the guy had to sign so many autographs, I began
to wonder if he didnt have a mechanical hand.
Literally, though, he is a great guy. I havent come
across a creator who was more in touch with his
readers. Heck, I havent come across a comic that
brought its readers together like his does. I dont
know how, but any of the other Sluggites I met while
waiting for an interview treated me as if we were
great friends. And we were.
I cant say that theres a comic out there, book or
strip that I like as much as Sluggy Freelance. Even
if youre only reading this because you have a scrolly
wheel on your mouse and were playing with it, click on
over to http://www.sluggy.com and check it out. Be
forewarned, not only will you need to read the
archives (it needs to be read in order), but you will
obsess over them until they are all read. You will
wait for 12 AM to roll around every night, for Pete to
upload the new comic. You will shake the fist of
righteousness when there is a Shirt-Guy Tom day. You
will worship the comic, for it is nifty.
That being said, it was still a pretty good interview.
We talked about inspirations, fans, and his next
spoof -- Torgy Potter and the Sorcerors Nuts.
My favorite part of the Plan 9 booth (besides meeting
Pete and all the other Sluggites) was seeing Phil
Foglio come up and ask Pete for an autograph.
I also managed to get an interview with one of the
writers from the Tick. Check back for that as well.
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