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Well, no one else was going to do talk about
action figures this month so I decided I'd step up
to the plate and try my hand at it. My action
figure collection is not very extensive, unlike
the people that normally write this column. I do,
however, have all of the Legion action figures DC
Direct has put out. So, I figured might as well
share my thoughts on them with you fine people.
The first wave of Legion action figures was the
three founders of the Legion of Superheroes:
Saturn Girl, Cosmic Boy, and Lightning Lad. All
three of these action figures come with rubber
replicas of the Legion flight ring. They also
have flight belts for the action figures. Legion
flight belts were only used by official Legion
members for a limited time before Brainiac 5
invented flight rings. After that, they became the
consolation prize for not making it into the
Legion, but these were generally only given when
they felt exceptionally generous after telling you
in no uncertain terms that you sucked. These
three are by far the niftiest wave of the Legion
action figures.
Garth aka Lightning Lad comes with a mechanical
arm which you can interchange for his fleshy arm.
Rokk aka Scum Weasel aka Cosmic Boy has magnets in
his hands and steel or some type of metal
balls . . . hmmm . . . this sounds like it could be a
problem. Imra aka Saturn Girl aka the only female
action figure they've made comes with a stand
that's the symbol of her people, the telepaths.
Now, because Saturn Girl's special gadget is a
stand, she's the only one of the action figures
whose knees don't bend. It's like they didn't
want us to play heterosexually naughty with our
Legion action figures. But by god, you can bend
all the guys together with each other. This says
more about the creators at DC Direct than I ever
needed to know.
Now the next two that I can remember being
produced were Brainiac 5 and Mon-El. I have
severe problems with both of these action figures.
Actually Mon-El is okay, but my Mon-El figure's face
looks like someone is goosing him. I utterly and
completely loathe their rendition of Brainiac 5.
For starters they used the same body mold for
Brainiac 5 that they used for Mon-el. Brainiac 5
is a nerd, a lab geek, not someone that sees the
inside of a gym at all. So the burly chest of
dooooooom is a little bit of overkill. The face
is pretty good, but not really how I picture
Brainiac 5.
Next in the series came my absolute favorite of
all of the action figures, Mordru, the evil bad
guy wizard. The sculpting on Mordru is
astoundingly good. He even has my favorite Mordru
costume with the little fez with wings. If you
want a really spiffy Legion action figure, this is
the one to get.
The most recent wave of Legion action figures
were: Sun Boy, Chameleon Boy, Ultra Boy, and Star
Boy. I really have no problem with these action
figures, except that I really wish that the good
people at DC Direct would start making them have
different bodies. It's kind of boring to have all
of them look the same minus the slight variations
for their costumes. I'm sure that it's cheaper to
run it that way, but it makes for less interesting
action figures.
Come February they're going to put out two more
Legion action figures: Ferro Lad and Timberwolf.
I don't know what they did to both of these action
figures, but from the pictures on the DC Direct
site they have managed to make both of them look
like the ambiguously gay duo.
I have another question. What's up with all the
guy Legionnaire figures? Where's Phantom Girl,
Lightning Lass, Triplicate Girl, Shrinking Violet,
and Dream Girl? Did someone do market research
that said making hot chick dolls wouldn't sell?
Because I'm highly wary if those are the results.
I'd love to see more female Legion action figures.
Saturn Girl needs someone to whine to about the
vast unfairness of her legs not bending.
Additionally, where's my Legion Clubhouse Playset?
If I'm going to collect Legion action figures, by God,
they should have a three foot high equivalent of
the Barbie Town House shaped like a yellow and red
50's rocket ship!
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