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Tech: Hello, thank you for calling d20 tech support, how may I aid you today? Player: Uhh... my character just leveled up. I want to put in level 2, but there's still a 1 in that box there. Tech: Hmm... are you using a standard character sheet that came with your book? Player: Yes. Tech: Have you tried erasing the old number and putting the new one in it's place? Player: The last tech had me try that. It didn't work. Tech: I've noticed that some of our sheets are incompatible with pens. Did you use a pen to write down your information? Player: Yes, I did. Oh... was that bad? Tech: I'm afraid so. We're going to have to copy all of your data onto a formatted character sheet, in pencil this time. Player: Oh, ok. I hope I don't lose anything...
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Tech: Hello, thank you for calling d20 tech support, how may I aid you today? Player: Hi! I've been having this problem... I'm playing in a high level game, and my Ranger just isn't as good as everyone else. I spoke to some of my friends that use the same class and they have the same problem. What can I do? Tech: That is a known issue and should be resolved with the new 3.5 update. You can purchase this at a local bookstore for only 30 dollars.
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Tech: Hello, thank you for calling d20 tech support, how may I aid you today? Player: Help! I'm fighting some monsters, but none of my spells are hurting them! Tech: Have you tried casting spells of a different energy type? Player: No... let me try. [pause] No, no luck. Do you think it's a problem with my spells or my character? Tech: Try casting a different spell on yourself. Player: Ok... wow, that worked! Tech: I don't think it's your spells or your character. What type of monsters are you fighting? Player: Baatezu. Tech: Oh, those have spell resistance. Try upgrading your levels and take the spell penetration feat. That should take care of it. Player: Thanks tech guy!
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Tech: Hello, thank you for calling d20 tech support, how may I aid you today? Player: Thank goodness it's a real person! I need help, I think my character has a virus. I'm playing a cleric, but my cure spells don't seem to help. Tech: What are the symptoms? Player: Well, I keep losing points of con every week. Tech: Have you tried running a heal check scan? Player: It came up negative. Tech: Hmm... it might be a magical virus. Have you tried casting Remove Disease? Player: Yes, twice. Tech: How about Heal? Player: I've tried that too. Tech: Have you tried casting Remove Curse? Player: Yes, that didn't help. Tech: Try casting Remove Curse, then Remove Disease, followed by Heal. Player: But I've already tried all of those. Tech: Try them in that order, it's important. Player: Ok, let me try. [pause]. Hey! That seemed to fix it. Tech: Great! Now cast Restoration, and you should be good to go. Player: Thanks! I feel better already!
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Tech: Hello, thank you for calling d20 tech support, how may I aid you today? Player: I don't know what to do. My character got killed by Trolls, and rest of the party abandoned her. Whenever I try and do something, the GM says "You can't do that, you're dead." Tech: There's no way for any of the other party members to help you? Player: No, they all ran away and won't come back. Tech: That's not a good sign. I'm afraid we're going to have to format your character sheet and reinstall a new character onto it. Player: Oh no! Does that mean that I'll lose all of my saved loot? Tech: I'm afraid so. Next time be sure to keep a cache of it somewhere, in case something like this happens again. Player: Ok, thanks. I'll try it and get back to you if it doesn't work.
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Tech: Hello, thank you for calling d20 tech support, how may I aid you today? Player: Hi! I need some help...I can't read my book. Tech: How long has this problem been going on? Player: It started two days ago, but it only happens during the evening. Tech: Which book is it? Player: I don't know. I can't see the cover because the electricity went out. Tech: At this point, I'm going to have to ask you to box up your books and sell them to a local used book store. You're too stupid to roleplay.
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