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When I first read Bountyhunter, I thought to
myself... Oooh, I'm going to enjoy shredding this
comic! Then I read last month's edition of
Collector Times and saw that Jamie and Sidra had
reviewed the comic first (had I realized that they
all had issues of it as well, I would have written
this last month, and it could have been a theme),
and they had already said almost everything I
wanted to say! Oh well, I guess there's not much
left to say other than... This comic sucks. It
sucketh muchly. It si teh suk!
How much does this comic suck? Well, let's suppose
there were these two guys. Let's say they're both
about 13-14, and they both really, really like
comics. They love super hero comics the best. And
they've always wanted to do their own comic. One
of them wants to write comics, the other wants to
draw comics. Unfortunately, the would-be writer is
barely literate, and the would-be artist's
preferred medium is Crayola and his grasp of
anatomy extends to realizing that people should
have 4 limbs and their head should be attached to
their neck. Despite their handicaps, they decide
to write a comic! Heck, they even go down to
Kinko's and get copies on magazine-quality paper
and staple them up into a nice comic format, using
the money they earned mowing lawns all summer
long.
You still with me? Well, the scenario I just
dreamed up could be a plausible explanation for
this comic. The sad thing is, I'm pretty sure that
Rod and Barbara Jenkins are adults, and they have
enough money to make copies for thousands of
people, not just their friends from school!
Bountyhunter honestly has all of the quality of
the comic written by idealistic, yet talentless
teenagers with too much time on their hands. This
comic is bad, bad, bad!
Allow me to list a few of the comic's flaws. As
was mentioned last month, the art is just BAD!
There's no real concept of perspective, no grasp
of anatomical proportion, no idea of how to draw
people in action. Real amateur stuff, folks. It's
made worse by the coloring, which looks almost
like it was done in crayon (probably actually some
sort of marker, it doesn't have pencil-like lines)
and even goes into the margins of the pages
sometimes. Now, don't get me wrong. I don't feel
that all comics have to be computer colored. But
if you can't make your coloring look professional
in the least, leave the damn thing in black and
white!
Remember how I mentioned the margins? Extra color
isn't all that's there. These comics were so
poorly copied that on most pages the top of the
comic page itself- with the issue, page #, etc
filled out- can clearly be seen. The boxes for
panels are even poorly drawn, with lines that
continue past the corners. Pages are sometimes
copied at a slightly skewed angle. Ugh. Every
aspect of this comic just plain sucks!
Yes, the suckiness is carried over in the writing.
The characters are two-dimensional. The so-called
story is boring. And the dialogue stinks. Now, as
far as I'm concerned, convincing dialogue is one of
the easiest things in the world to write. The
world is full of people talking. If you just shut
up and listen to them, you'll learn how to write
dialogue. You don't even have to listen to people
talking in person. Look at how they talk on the
internet. Read the newspaper. Read a well-written
book. It's easy to pick this stuff up. Yet time
and again I run across people who can't seem to
grasp the simplicity of making people talk like
real people. ARGH!
Of course, anyone looking at the cover of this
comic (and I'm just talking about the front cover,
not getting into Kiss Me Comix's poorly written
back-patting, horn-tooting back cover) would
realize that it's not worth the $3 cover price.
Featuring a poorly drawn, badly colored action
scene, with the Bountyhunter logo proudly spread
across the top (logo consisting of the name in
some cheap-ass 80's sci-fi computer type text),
the cover says "Who's this guy in the red &
black?! He ain't th' lone stranger." Huh? WTF?
That's supposed to make me want to buy this comic?
Ok, that's it, I've had enough. I refuse to waste
another moment on my time for this poorly rendered
excuse for a comic book. If after you've read all
three reviews of this piece of crap you'd still
like to read it, then, well, you must either be a
masochist or a personal friend of the Jenkins'.
Either way, you need help. Heck, after reading
this comic, *I* need help... damn this facial tic!
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