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The other day I was doing what all comic fans do, from time to
time. Being short of cash, I couldn't go get new comics, so I was
reading some old ones. In this case, some old Marvel reprints from the
70s, Marvel Triple-Action. It must've been awesome to be in comics in
the early 70s. There was so much demand, they were reprinting comics
only a few years old. This kind of thing gives us cheapskate readers a
chance to own and read books we'd have to read in a black and white
Essential edition, these days, ot spend a fortune on a collectible
book.
Marvel Triple-Action was reprinting old Avengers stories, at
the time and I have four or five issues that I was reading through.
Some of these are stories I only know from events shown in other, more
recent books, especially Avengers Forever, the brilliant 12-issue
series by Kurt Busiek and Carlos Pacheco. Kurt's ability to weave
diverse story elements into an over-arching epic is amazing enough,
but even that is dwarfed by Pacheco's art. Which is all the more
amazing when you go back and read the original Avengers stories from
which many scenes were drawn. If you haven't read Avengers Forever,
yet, get it.
These Avengers stories I'm reading involved attacks by such
terrifying nemeses as The Red Ghost (ooo, scary!) and the Mole Man,
Count Nefaria (when he was just a rich mob boss with delusions of
grandeur) and the Masters of Evil, Baron Zemo, The Executioner and,
fresh from her night job as a Go-Go dancer the Enchantress. Also
representing in these stories are Kang the Conqueror and Immortus,
both of whom are damn lucky they're so powerful, otherwise nobody'd
take them seriously in those horrible outfits. What the hell is that
mask Kang wears, anyway?
All of these characters will receive attention from at some
point, but this month I'm gonna focus on the Masters of Evil. I was
laughing at the art in these books, representing some of Don Heck's
worst. There are pages where there's one character per panel with no
backgrounds, not even a little hint of shadow under their feet! If the
colorist hadn't added a splash of color in the negative space, you'd
have no sense of place at all. I guess he was in a rush.
In previous columns, I have lamented the fact that, in comics,
the villains are always on the worst-dressed list (a list I could
head, myself!) and these three are some of the worst offenders.
Though, technically, the least powerful, Zemo acts as the
leader of the Masters of Evil. In this story, the Masters are lounging
around in their castle one day, when Immortus mentally contacts the
Enchantress. Now, it may surprise you to learn that these guys lounge
in those goofy costumes! Yes, Zemo even keeps that stupid mask on, at
home, how doesn't even loosen the furry collar on his jacket.
So let's start with Zemo. This version of Baron Zemo is the old
former Nazi, if I remember correctly. I'm not sure if this period is
before, or after, the point where he superglued the mask to his head
and ripped half his skin off, getting it off. I think it's before, so
it makes little sense that he'd walk around his own home masked. But,
even if he's already horrifically scarred, who cares, you're at home!
If you can't lose the mask at home, where can you? Anyway, I hate that
friggin mask. I realize the colors available in comics in those days
limited the variety available, but... magenta? Magenta mask, fur
collar, yellow gloves and booties...what is he trying to say with this
outfit? "Vomit on me!" maybe. It certainly strikes fear in no one!
So, let's pare it down to the essentials. This guy is not just
a former Nazi, he's a Prussian Nazi, an aristocrat and he's got
delusions of being some kind of world leader. That says 'uniform', to
me. So I restyled the jacket to resemble a uniform jacket, changing
the shape of the fur collar so it looks less like a parka hood. The
mask, needed work, too, lose all those parallel lines and give it a
more severe styling. Instead of magenta, I used a purple closer to the
"royal purple" favored by the self-styled "nobility". I kept the
"crown", though I'm not sure what purpose it serves. Instead of the
garish yellow for the boots, golves and belt, I wanted something more
consistent with light stained leather, a golden tan color that evokes
the same pattern as the old costume, but different in tone. Still not
striking fear, but hopefully not causing enemies to fall out laughing.
Next, let's look at the Enchantress. Her old outfit, with it's
fringed mini-dress and black stockings is really dated. Also, it
doesn't look the least bit "Norse" to me. Of course, she's a goddess,
so she can dress any way she wants. I wanted to keep as much of the
over-all design as I could, so I modified the mini-dress,losing the
fringe, into a leather bodice. In place of the segmented armbands, I
opted for accented leather gauntlets and instead of the black leather
stockings, I chose tight-fitting leather "waders", with the sexy high
heels built into them. Sure, it's still not Norse, but that's alright.
And, lastly, we come of the Executioner, whose name is Skurge,
an utterly forgettable character, until he helped rescue Thor from the
clutches of Hela, holding off Hela's hordes at Gjallerbru, the golden
bridge that spans the river Gjoll, marking the limit of Hela's domain.
Skurge held the bridge, an M-16 in each hand (I know, he should've had
something bigger, when dealing with the hordes of Hel, but they were
borrowed from the US gov't) and not one of Hela's warriors set foot on
the bridge. Skurge earned a place in Valhalla, that day.
Looking at his costume and scenes of battle against the
Avengers, I keep wondering, why does the guy have a battle-axe on his
shirt, but not one in his hands?? That's the first thing I needed to
correct. Of course, at some point, he had an axe nearly as magical as
Thor's hammer, but it's not in evidence in this Avengers story. As for
the outfit, I hate that Romanesque skirt, it doesn't suit an Asgardian
warrior or the Marvel style of Asgardian armor. Being from a cold
climate, you rarely find that much ventilation around the nether
regions.
I took that bib on the old costume and turned it onto a kind of
surcoat, emblazoned with his battle-axe emblem. The rest is basically
the same as the original, I don't have much else to complain about.
Y'know, I might not have minded going bald so much, if I could work my
hair into something like his hair style.
OK, that's if for now. Back to the drawing board!
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