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(Author's Note: This is based on the "old" World of Darkness that we all know and love/loathe. I am aware of the new version, but so far it's just the core book and Vampire, a game which I've never played. Besides, I refuse to play in a World of Darkness without Changelings and Mummies. That said, enjoy the list!)
Big Brother, World of Darkness style.
Take a couple of Vampires, a few Magi, some Werewolves, a few Changelings, and throw a Mummy in just for the hell of it, and make them all live in the same house! What do you end up with? Either a gigantic, bloody fight and a tragic end to your TV show, or a hit show full of quirky people trying to learn to adjust to each other's sleep schedules, eating habits, magical requirements and unique Merits and Flaws.
It's easy to imagine the sort of characters - er, I mean contestants - that you'd get on a show like this. The imperious Sidhe who expects everything to be done her way. The Vampires trying to resist the urge to drink the blood of their housemates. The Celestial Chorister who preaches moderation and good behaviour, who is in turn ignored by the slutty Satyr who wants to have sex with everyone in the house, preferably all in one great orgy. And of course, the Shemsu-Heru is just waiting for some alone time with any one of the Vampires - so they can kill them.
Come to think of it, I'm not sure much of anyone would survive to get voted out of the house, so let's move on to...
The Apprentice, World of Darkness style.
Bah! Forget being put in charge of a company. If you really want something to strive for, set your sights on immortality. That's exactly what the contestants in this show do, as a large group of normal mortals compete to be Embraced by a Vampire. The stakes (ha ha) are high on this show, as every week, one contestant is winnowed out and becomes a tasty entree for the Master Vampire. Only one of them will survive to become immortal!
Challenges in this show will range from coordinating the perfect outfit, to stalking potential prey, to tests of seduction. Contestants will also be tested on their tolerance for blood, violence, and bad Goth music. Angst, style, and animal cunning will all be equally important for the contestants, who come from a variety of walks of life and all have different reasons for seeking immortality.
Of course, they might have a hard time getting contestants to sign a waiver allowing the sucking of their blood should they lose, so let's move on to...
Monster Garage, World of Darkness Style.
You know, originally I was going to write this up like Big Brother, with Vampires and Changelings and all, but I love this idea more if you limit it to Mage (what can I say, I love Mage). Really, it's a great concept. You take a small group of Mages from each Tradition and give them a challenge to build something out of junk. An average episode would go something like this:
The different teams are given the challenge to build something specific... a catapult or a tank or something like that. They're given a time limit, a budget, some limits on what materials they can use, etc. Everybody gets to work!
Well, almost everybody. The team from the Cult of Ecstasy decides to sit down and smoke a joint before starting. One joint becomes a few, and then they decide to go to a party, etc etc. The deadline gets frittered away as the teammates waste their time in pursuit of pleasure. Finally, there's only ten minutes until the deadline and they haven't even discussed what to do! No worries - the team steps out of the stream of time and gets busy! Just in the nick of time, they complete their project. Hell, they even had time to plan a party to celebrate!
On the other end of the spectrum, the Virtual Adepts sit down with their various CAD programs and design a few prototypes. Then they run countless simulations until they choose the most efficient and durable prototype. Then it's time to log on-line and hunt down a few hard-to-find materials. Working from blue prints stored on their computers, they build a state-of-the-art version of whatever they've been challenged to create.
Meanwhile, the Celestial Chorus prays to God, and receives divine inspiration for the perfect design. Confident that the Almighty is on their side, they sing great hymns to Him as they build, but it remains to be seen if He will also grant them victory, or teach them humility through defeat.
Perhaps most entertaining to watch would be the Euthanatos. Thanks to their mastery of the forces of Entropy, their Macguyver-esque contraptions would "just so happen" to work, no matter how contrived and unlikely they seem.
I'll leave the World of Darkness-style Fear Factor, Survivor, marriage, and spouse-swapping shows up to your imagination, or maybe save them for another column. Tune in next month when I think I might actually be GMing again!
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