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Well, after a break last month I'm back (good or bad?). Anyway, all I have to say is that I've identified with Kyle Rayner since day one and it seems to have carried through to the end. The difference, of course, is that he can get away from his troubles and I can't. With that said I think it's time to resort to my best defense mechanisms, sarcasm and snide comments.
Usually I'm content to bring out my frustrations one at a time, but things right now are just too crazy. I'm ticked, I'm peeved, I'm upset. So with that being said, let's get right down to business. These are the things that are getting me steamed as of late in the world of comics.
The Beast (Hank McCoy)
Now, I'm not upset with the character as much as I'm upset with the look. This whole stupid blue Tony the Tiger thing just doesn't work for me. One problem is that there doesn't really seem to be a good agreement of what he's supposed to look like when it gets down to the finer details, and he always seems to look like crap. The only decent rendition of his current form I've seen is being done by Patrick Zircher in Cable & Deadpool. Heck, Zircher even makes the Beast's idiotic pantsuit thing think look workable.
Oh, and this isn't all about looks either. I've disliked this change to the Beast since day one, and there are two reasons. First, this is supposed to be some kind of "secondary mutation," and I don't know about you but I don't see a step "up" or even SIDEWAYS when I think of the fact that the Beast went from having a mostly primate-like mutant ability to going more feline. Now if he's going to vary from time to time and really use that vague "Beast" codename, then that's fine but I don't see it going that way. Of course, if he ever goes into platypus mode I'm buying two issues of the premiere of that form.
Then there is the whole "secondary mutation" thing, which was a useless terminology creation by Grant Morrison. When it comes to mysticism, psychedelic things and straight ahead character use (no personality alterations) Morrison does well. However, he SUCKS with pseudoscience (U-Men? PLEASE). Here is how bad this "secondary mutation" thing is with the Beast…the fact that it's his third (count with me now…1,2,3), THIRD form. His first form was his "human" version where he just had primate-like physical characteristics. His second form was his original blue form. This can be supported by the FACT that once he reverted back to his first form and later got a "jumpstart" to his system (Infecta anyone?) which caused him to again mutate to the first blue form he had before. I don't know about you but that tells me something about that first blue form being locked into his mutation. So, his current state would be his THIRD form, and that would mean it's a "tertiary mutation."
Let's say I'm nice and I let Morrison off the hook with the lame pseudoscience. That still doesn't excuse the fact that Morrison couldn't count to THREE. I know he's a fairly free thinker and if he wants to toke, or pop, whatever I could care less (though I do think there is a certain dishonesty to Marvel hiring him to write while they're winning awards for taking cigarettes/cigars out of the hands of their heroes). However, when you can't count to three, it's time to count the working brain cells to make sure you're lugging around enough.
The end of H-E-R-O
So, I'll be honest in saying I have no idea if this title was scheduled to have a "natural" end, but everything I've read about it says that is not the case. Since day one Will Pfeifer has written great stories. The title has done a great job of looking at what makes a hero a "hero." Is it the powers? Is it the attitude? What would an everyday Joe/Jane do with powers? Unfortunately the stories are coming to and end. Of course you can leave it to Pfeifer to bring everything to a close in a fashion befitting such a great title.
I don't know if this is a choice by someone in a suit at DC or if the title really didn't have that much appeal (I thought it was doing fairly well). Yet, here I am once again adding another series to my ever increasing collection of short-lived titles. I can only hope that DC will someday bring the title back as at least a limited series. However, if Pfeifer isn't writing the new writer is going to have some pretty big shoes to fill in my eyes.
Relaunches
Avengers! Iron Man! Captain America! The Legion of Super-Heroes! Green Lantern! Aaaah! Auntie Em! Uncle Henry! Toto! It's a twister! It's a twister! (any Airplane! Fans out there?).
That's right folks, if you like senseless and purposeless relaunches now is a great time to be alive and a reader of DC and Marvel. Of course, if you're like me (heaven forbid) you're ticked and don't see much of a point to the whole thing.
Sure the Avengers are going through a major shakeup, but they've been through them and membership changes before without having their title relaunched. Plus, why do some of the members have to have their titles relaunched too? It's almost as if Marvel is going out of their way to make sure people don't have to take any risks to jump on to titles. "You don't know what a good jump-on issue is? Don't worry, just give us a few months and we'll relaunch the title. You don't have to think, we make money off another 'All-new, all-different' #1 and we tick off older fans." Yet, not to be outdone DC will be relaunching a couple of titles themselves.
You see, every once in a while DC likes to mess with people who get into the Legion of Super-Heroes and what they do. It's not enough that DC seems to go out of their way to avoid collecting issues of the various titles the characters and their incarnations have been in, it's as though they seem determined to actively anger fans of the characters. Me, I tried to get into the characters once…and they relaunched the title shortly thereafter. I've never gone back.
So let me get this straight, when the mantle of Green Lantern is passed (accidentally fumbled?) from Hal Jordan to Kyle Rayner the title continues on uninterrupted. However, when it's decided that Hal will be coming back to wear the ring we need a relaunch? I don't get it. Is this to make the book "clean" for those people that will return to the title now that Kyle isn't in the lead? Couldn't they have just brought in the short woman from Poltergeist to proclaim, "This title, is clean" for all those uptight, retentive people who have a mad-on for Kyle? I mean, with a group name like H.E.A.T. you'd think some of these people would be familiar with things to reduce a painful annoying itch in the most personal of places. Use it and get over the Kyle thing. I will get the title since I'm a fan of Hal (and Kyle) but the relaunch is unnecessary.
Transformers: Micromasters
"Mommy, why are robots who've never been to Earth named things like 'Big Daddy' and sometimes talk like they're rejects from a hip-hop video?" Ok, so the guys at Dreamwave really can't do too much about the name thing, but most of the dialogue from this series, ugh. It was a nice concept that wasn't followed through with very well. The plus side? Four issues total. As a Transformers fan it's something I knew I had to check out and it would cost money. It just turned out to be a touch painful for its short duration. Wow, it's the comic equivalent of a prostate exam!
Ronnie Raymond (aka Firestorm)
If you haven't read Firestorm #6 or Identity Crisis #5 you may want to skip this one. Still here? Great.
Just when I thought that the title of 'Character most likely to go out like a little bitch' would always be held by any character Donnie Yen plays in an American movie (watch Highlander:Endgame, Blade 2, or Shanghai Knights to understand) along comes Ronnie Raymond's final fate as Firestorm. Little did we all know that Firestorm's weakness was the same as a shaken can of pop. You poke a hole in it and it's game over.
I rationalized Deathstroke's ability to take down the Flash by telling myself that the fight happened in a residential area so the Flash couldn't really cut lose on speed (sonic boom on city street baaaad) and that Deathstroke knew how the Flash would react due to their history. However, Ronnie's death was lame. Hmm...broke the "containment" of the reactor and energy is leaking out, and there's nobody around to help with this problem immediately. Too bad nobody could just create a lead block to contain him from thin air. Oh, wait. Firestorm can do that! Lame, lame, lame, lame, lame. Whoever concocted that death needs to be backhanded with a copy of Marville and then forced to read it. Yeah, that's right, I'm all about the pain.
Well, that's it for this month. I'd like to say that I'll be back next time with something positive and constructive but I think anyone who knows me knows that probably just isn't going to be the case. Maybe in December. Who knows. I hope my venting was at least entertaining for you, because I'm sure it wasn't educational.
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