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This month, I'd like to talk about something that's unfortunately been on my mind a lot lately: the importance of remembering WHY we roleplay. I don't want to get into details (because some members of my gaming group might read this and I don't need angry messages telling me how I got it all wrong), but this past month we've had people yelling and screaming at each other, on-line and in person, planning all sorts of nasty backstabbing plots, and generally bitching and moaning... over games. It got to the point where several of us were saying... "Wait, isn't this supposed to be FUN?"
That's right, roleplaying is about FUN.
It's not about being the best or most powerful.
It's not about winning or losing.
It's not about getting back at so-and-so for killing your character last game.
It's not about getting back at so-and-so for saying something out of character, looking at you the wrong way, sneezing on you, or being born.
It's not about taking your problems out on everyone else.
It's not about the player, it's about the characters.
When you spend your time plotting revenge over an imagined slight, or you interrupt the game for a screaming match over something that happened in character, something's wrong. It doesn't just ruin the fun for you, it ruins the fun for everyone. The negativity poisons the whole game. Soon everyone gets drawn into plotting against each other, talking behind backs, and all that other nasty stuff.
Things got so bad in our group that some people quit, others threatened to quit, and my husband said that if one more fight happened out or about his game, he'd cancel it. He and the other GM put their collective feet down and said "No more". People had to learn to play nice, because this was getting ridiculous. So far, two gaming sessions later, it's worked. We can all only hope that it stays this way.
So, next time you're looking forward to the next gaming session, not because you want to see your friends or you like playing your character, but because you can't wait to get revenge on Fred for calling your character a monkey, take a step back and think about it. What do you stand to gain? Fred is just going to try to get revenge on you the following session. Fred is also going to try to get all of his friends to help him, while you'll be busy trying to get your friends to side with you. Those people who are friends with both of you will only feel trapped in the middle.
If you most continue your petty quest for revenge, keep it to yourself. For one thing, the rest of your group probably thinks you're being childish and is sick of hearing about it. For another thing, they might tell the target of your revenge - and/or the GM - about your little plan. I've seen it happen before, and I'm sure I'll see it again.
If you honestly can't make yourself get over the slight and get along with everyone else, for cripe's sake, find a new gaming group. There are plenty of geeks in this world and your local gaming store probably has a bulletin board to help gamers meet each other. Don't tear apart your group with your bitterness. It's not worth it.
And, if you see yourself in this column, maybe it's time you tried to straighten out and fly right. Turn over a new leaf. Apologize for your past behavior and move on with your life. Everyone will be much happier, even you.
That's it for now. Tune in next month for something less personal and more useful.
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