- Charlie's Angels
I believe this was only released for GameCube in the United States, but it most certainly had a PAL release on the PlayStation 2.. and oh, what a release it is. It's a three dimensional Final Fight clone with some of the worst imaginable animation, graphics and design you could imagine. Want to have to stare at a badly pixellated version of Lucy Liu's butt swinging its way unrealistically up a ladder for what seems like hours? This is your game. How about doing jumps that're practically wu xia moves, gazelle like leaps from one side of the screen to the other - not the grace of the gazelle, just the range. This isn't one of those mediocre titles you could swim through in a bargain bin, Uncle Scrooge style, at your local Electronics Boutique - the awful here truly deserves a greater audience. - Any PS2 Ace Combat Game
They're gorgeous. Even the first PS2 version released looks incredibly pretty, and they've got impressive presentation too - comms chatter, the heads up display, etc. Do I also need to mention that they're eminently playable, with decent enough missions and an easily used control scheme and handling? If you like flight sim lite style games, this series is the best you're going to get on PS2. I've tried things like Energy Airforce and Deadly Skies III (the PAL name for Air Force Delta Storm, I believe) and they just don't compare. Perhaps Secret Weapons Over Normandy could be considered as fun if you'd prefer some historical dogfighting action, but that's another story. - Rez
Oh, yes, I know it was hyped to hell for Dreamcast and PlayStation 2. I don't care. It's an audiovisual extravaganza, or something.. and strangely enough I personally enjoy playing it, not just for the looks and sounds. When it comes down to it, you might find it difficult to get for a decent price, but you should definitely at least try it and decide for yourself.. which is the point of this whole "you must witness for yourself" article. Also, if you're feeling frisky, you might want to do a Google search for "rez trance vibrator". - Burnout 2
It's pretty, it's fast, it's fun, it's cheap and it's ultimately a rather shallow experience. Just like your sister. So I'm told. - Deus Ex
The vast majority of you would be better off playing this on a PC, but certain sick perverts out there, author included, prefer to play games on a console no matter what. Deus Ex is a, frankly, excellently awesomely amazingly open ended first person perspective RPG/shooter hybrid with more. Set in the future, you're an agent who's sent in to quell a terrorist attack on Liberty Island, but things get more involved as you progress.. who to trust, what to do, how to do it. Practically everything in the game has a number of options - stealth, combat, if you can think of a way to do something, it's usually catered for. It's.. wow. Plenty of hate out there for the sequel on Xbox and PC, "Deus Ex Invisible War", but I'm enjoying even that. You know when the sucky sequel is still a lot of fun that you're onto a good thing . . . which brings me to - The Devil May Cry Franchise
There's three games in this franchise on the PlayStation 2, and the fourth is to be a PS3 exclusive. Made by Capcom of Onimusha and Resident Evil fame, this is another third person actioner where you run around various environments killing, solving puzzles, killing and also killing. The focus is heavily on style, though, with the way you thrash the various demons and evildoers being rated as "DOPE!", "COOL!" and the like. You can collect demon blood to upgrade your weapons and skills, and progress through various missions, expanding the plot and exposing yourself to all manner of amusing yet artistic cut scenes. The setting is a post-apocalyptic future after a demon war has wiped out a lot of humanity, and you play a wiseass called Dante with an interesting geneaology.I mentioned "sucky sequels", as the first game I ever played from this series was Devil May Cry 2. Apparently this was the "disappointing" one - when I played it, I thought it was the bee's knees, I just loved the hell out of it. Later, when I picked up the first game and started playing it, it was "oh, I get it now". So, if I were you, start with the first one, or perhaps the third. Hell, save up your $AUS1000 and get a 60Gb PS3, then pay what'll no doubt be $AUS120-140 for the game and.. hope your bank manager doesn't catch you.
- Legends of Wrestling
Just so you know for sure what an utter waste of space Acclaim were, and how you should be glad they're no longer around to filth up your favourite console. Also, Hulk Hogan is dreamy. - Final Fantasy X
You should really play this just so you can talk to your RPG afficionado friends and say things like "Yeah, Tidus was an awesome character" or "I really think X was the pinnacle of the franchise to date, second only to 7 on PlayStation" and then stand back as their heads explode, or go bright red and steam starts pouring out their ears and nostrils. Once they recover from the initial shock and trauma, say something like "Psych! Final Fantasy is shit and so are you! Shouldn't you be collecting dress spheres, macho man?" and walk off. If you're on a beach, kick some sand in their face and steal their girl first. - Samurai Western
The game itself is a third person highly repetitive slasher with slight interest and replayability through the dodging and combo points system, but ultimately not exactly what you could in all honesty call a gold medal standard game for the ages. However, it's got a ridiculous premise which amused me greatly, and your samurai can wear captured enemy hats. You know what? Never mind. Just watch "Shanghai Knights" again with a Dual Shock 2 in your hand instead of trying to track this down. - Zombie Zone
This is a game about a girl in a bikini and cowboy hat and her desperate attempt to stay alive through a zombie attack on her city. Do I really need to say anything more? "Zombie Zone" is the PAL transfer of a Japanese budget title called "Onechanbara" - a combination of "onechan" (older sister) and "chanbara" (sword fighting) to mean "Girl Sword Fight". An XBox 360 sequel to this is out in Japan, "Onechanbara Vortex". Come on, what more do you need? It's a girl! In a bikini! With a sword! Zombies! Budget price! You don't need to just witness this for yourself, you need to base your life on its teachings.
Special Super Bonus Honourable Mentions:
Shadow of the Colossus
Just so you can point to something when you're arguing that video games are "art".
Car Wash Tycoon
It's a simulation of running a car wash . . . or, if you get good, a number of them. You can even wash the cars yourself. Yes, this is really a game on the PlayStation 2.
Ford Racing 3
It's rubbish, but it has the Ford Falcon XB Coupe in it, so I shall treasure it forever, since this game is most likely the closest I'll ever get to driving one.
If you don't know what that car is, go and watch "Mad Max" - Max's car is a modified version of the XB Coupe.
Metal Gear Solid 2
Most convoluted movie I ever watched AND it kept getting occasionally interrupted by gameplay. That shirtless Raiden guy, though? Hot, and not at all annoying.
