Let me tell you, nothing makes me feel more like a real journalist than sitting down to review a movie that isn't even out yet. While at Comic Con, I was one of the people who eschewed the Masquerade and instead went to the preview screening of The Mutant Chronicles. This was the film's first showing in the Western Hemisphere, and we got to see the uncut, unrated version, then listen to some of the stars and crew talk about it. And why did I choose to stay up until midnight watching a movie that I hadn't heard of before? Two simple reasons, my friends. One is that Ron Perlman was in it, and the other is that it was steampunk. That's all I needed to know. Although I was there to see Ron Perlman (who was on the panel after the movie), the star of the film is Thomas Jane, who was in 2004's Punisher movie (a movie that I had forgotten even existed), and The Mist. The movie also features Devon Aoki (of Sin City and War) and an extended cameo by John Malkovich, as well as a few other actors who mostly served to increase the film's body count. The Mutant Chronicles is a dark steampunk action-adventure that takes place in the distant future when several mega-corporations rule the world and battle each other in border skirmishes. The movie didn't make it quite clear, but I suspect that there was some disaster in the 21st century that plunged the world into the dark ages. By the 28th century (when the film takes place), people have developed guns and steam-powered ships (even space ships capable of going to Mars*), as well as telegraphs. Aside from the peasants being dressed like extras from Oliver Twist or A Christmas Carol, there's very little of the Victorian aesthetic that so many steampunks crave. No shiny brass or polished wood, this film looks more to the darker elements of the industrial age. Everything has a very grey cast to it; color is rare in the film. But where do the mutants come in? Good question. Our story centers around a very bad machine that hates humanity and turns their dead and dying into angry mutant killing machines. The heroes must go on a quest to disable the machine and save the planet. Thomas Jane, Devon Aoki, and most of the rest of the cast play disparate soldiers who were recruited for the job. Ron Perlman plays the warrior monk who recruited them all, in accordance with the prophecy that his order has guarded for centuries. This serves as a set-up for our heroes to go underground and fight mutants with scythes for hands, armed with guns, grenades, and swords. Much like zombies, the mutants aren't too effected by gunfire and basically need to be reduced to bits and pieces to be stopped. As such, there's a decent bit of gory violence to be had throughout the film. This, combined with some light female nudity and plenty of soldier-appropriate language leads me to believe that unless the editors cut a lot out of the film, it would make a pretty good R-Rated action flick. The Mutant Chronicles is an independent film that was created on the Isle of Man with a very small budget. The creators made good use of their budget, not just in hiring some good talent (everyone, even the minor players, makes a good showing and provides a believable portrayal of their character, no matter how short-lived), but being wise in the effects they use. Rather than spending all their money on sub-par CGI, they made use of many older effects tricks - model work, matte paintings, and makeup, all of which were done very well. Some people may scoff at matte paintings and models, but I found that the effects fit the movie. They were high-quality enough that I never questioned anything on the screen. Although I knew the characters weren't really flying in a coal-fed machine, I accepted it. I didn't sit there thinking about how fake it looked. Too many times, with CGI, the studio has clearly gone with the lowest bidder and it shows. I'm quite sick of fake-looking monsters that make me feel like the hero has stepped into a video game (I'm looking at you, I Am Legend!). Make-up and prosthetics are fine for me, thank you very much. My one gripe with the effects is the blood-splatters that were added in with computer graphics. The blood was far too garishly red and stood out far too much. It looked ridiculously fake, and kept jarring me out of the movie. After the showing, the assembled creators and actors suggested that it will probably be fixed before it hits the big screens, which would be nice. So, was it a good movie? Yeah, pretty much. The characters were shallow and undeveloped, the technology was unbelievable, and I would have liked more steam and less guns. That said, I enjoyed myself a lot while I watched it, there are a few good action scenes, and the overall look of the film was awesome. If it were in the theaters now, I'd be urging you to go see it now, and maybe just check your brain at the door. It's the kind of slightly-stupid but highly-enjoyable action-adventure film that you want to see in between huge blockbusters, the kind of slightly unknown film that you feel smug about discovering before the rest of your friends. Besides, when else are you going to see Ron Perlman as a sword-wielding warrior monk? God bless you, Mr. Perlman, for constantly accepting such bizarrely awesome roles. The Mutant Chronicles doesn't yet have an American distributor, though they're apparently in talks with a couple. They're trying to build up some support. So here's my support: If I saw a trailer for this film, I'd definitely want to see it. I'd even go see it again in the theater, to see what changes they make in the final version and to share the experience with my friends. I might even buy it on DVD. If you're interested in seeing this movie at your local cineplex, but sure to spread the word. * At the panel, they did admit that they knew there was no way a coal-powered steamship could make it to Mars, but they put it in there anyway. Okay guys, I admit, the idea is cool, but I just can't buy it. I'd buy it a lot more if the movie was lifted straight from a Victorian-era novel when they thought they could ride aether to the moon or whatever, but not so much when it's penned by 21st century writers.

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Copyright © 2008 By AJ Reardon E-mail AJ at: ErtheFae@aol.com Visit AJ at: www.erthefae.com