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Last month, I looked at what I considered Marvel's 7 greatest bloopers as part of my nine or ten part tribute to the 70th anniversary of the Marvel Universe. As a bit of April Fool's on myself, most of this article was prepared first. I just felt the bloopers fit April better. Then I was going to do one about 7 Great Marvel Stories. I'm about to delay that one more time. See, last month I managed to get two copies of The Marvel No Prize Book. That book mentions most of the mistakes I mentioned plus many other great glitches. (Look for it in for sale in cheap boxes for the retail version or the collector's item. You had to win it to get the tons of extra art full of glitches' edition. I have both thanks to auctions. So instead of seven of Marvel's greatest stories, here are seven stories they'd rather you forget exist.
- Power Pack #36 - This issue is rather intense at least in terms of the exploits of the Power family. They fight the sentinel building Master Mold to protect their fifth member Franklin Richards from the mass murdering robot. Master Mold went after Franklin because he was one of the 12â…a group of mutants destined to change the destiny of the world. It was a dangling thread from the various X-Books. For some reason when the 12 storyline came into play more than a decade later in the X-Books, Franklin Richards was not among them. The other reason Marvel wants to ignore this story is that it shows that Power Pack could take out Master Mold down in a single issue story when the X-Men couldn't do it in three. Which would mean Power Pack is more powerful than the X-Men. (Then again, during The Mutant Massacre Alex took out Sabertooth by himself in just a few pages so those kids are tougher than they look.)
- Marvel Team-Up #135- Sometimes Marvel forgets a good story for no reason. This story which is a team up featuring Spider-Man and Kitty Pryde is not one of those cases. I originally bought this issue from a friend (along with most of his collection) about 15 years ago. Why? Spidey is one of my favorite Marvel heroes and Kitty is without a doubt my favorite of X-books mansion crowd. However there were at least two: Kitty gets kidnapped by The Morlocks' stories before this one. We've seen many books where Spidey show up randomly instead the guest star's regular cast. Yet next time Kitty sees the Morlocks, there is no mention of the incident. I barely remember this story at all save for the fact that I thought the two characters had a lot of similarities and Kitty of the era was a lot like young Parker could have been really cool but it just didn't quite click.
- The Marvel Fummetti - The Fummetti book was Marvel's experiment in the early 80s with taking actual photographs and using them to tell stories. Most of the stories were somewhat amusing tales about the goings on at the Marvel offices or some stuff done with Marvel action figures. Creators like John Byrne, Walter and Louise Simonson and others were obviously phoning it in. A couple of people in the production/marketing department got to write some stuff which was a rarity in those days though those stories went unsigned. At least one of the features was written by some guy named Peter David. (Who as far as I know hasn't done anything else of import, other than getting scans_daily shut down.)
- The Really Honking Long Ultraverse/Marvel Universe Crossover - Back in the early 90s a rogue relatively small press company managed to stumble across a really neat coloring process. It allowed them to compete (to a certain extent) with the big boys DC and Marvel. Marvel was not pleased and bought them out regardless of the fact that they were near bankrupt themselves. The Ultraverse also had a fan following. So, Marvel decided to do a crossover with their classic universe and their newly acquired properties because made good marketing sense as Marvel attempt to insure once they owned Malibu they wouldn't have another 'New Universe' situation on their hands. I think the hope was to make it sort of an old school JLA/JSA sort of relationship but that just didn't work. The reviews were bad. Really bad. Sales on Ultraverse titles actually dropped. So Marvel tried their two basic techniques 1) have a Spider-Person guest star (the miraculously unpopular Spider-Prime) and 2) create an X title. Technically Exiles volume two, cancelling the Steve Gerber Ultraverse book and replacing it with a team of heroes and villains from the Marvel Universe stuck in the Ultraverse. I think the only time these stories have been brought up at all was when Marvel decided to revive Adam Warlock. Who is another character they try to forget unless Jim Starlin comes knocking on their door.
- What The . . . ?! #11- I think if anyone at Marvel remembered this issue of What The…?! existed, we might have been spared the 90s MC-2 series Wild Thing. Wolverina's origin was exactly the same. The daughter of Wolverine gets chosen for the Weapon X program and gets claws. Wolverina was popular enough to become one of the few reoccurring features in What The…?! along with Irving Forbrush and Spider-Ham. Come to think of it, that origin is also somewhat similar to X-23. Though the name of the guy who wrote the first Wolverina story escapes me. Don't worry, it'll come to me.
- Nightcrawler (1985): I don't know why this miniseries got forgotten. It is admittedly a little strange, but what do you expect from a story that was both written and drawn by Dave Cockrum. It is one part Errol Flynn movie, one part Robert E. Howard and one part Wizard of Oz. As a X-Men, it is something of a rarity since it contains no angst whatsoever. One of Kurt's teleports goes haywire sending him on a series of world hopping adventures with his sidekick Lockheed the Dragon. One of the pit stops places him into a world Cockrum had some familiarity with-- Kitty's Fairy Tale. Aside from a brief 'unless you look closely you won't see it' reference during Excalibur's 'The Cross Time Caper' I don't think this story has been mentioned since.
- The Last Galactus Story: For some reason or another Marvel has gone to great lengths to forget this story. It was a nice little 'What If?' style story that was going to tell the story of the end of the Marvel universe. It has some really nice art by John Byrne. It ran in Epic Illustrated and I've only been able to read it in part because back issues are hard to come by. What is surprising is the length Marvel was willing to go to forget it ever happened. They didn't just refuse to reference it in their multiverse book or print a small handful of copies only in England like most of Captain Britain. They decided not to publish it the ending. A script and some pages of art still exist but as of this moment they have never been officially let out of the vault.
But wait, there's more. Since I finished the other seven bits and I may have issues that prevent me from writing next month here are the promised '7 of Marvels best stories'. For purposes of not repeating myself, I've left out things from my favorite done in one issue stories list and Kraven's Last Hunt which I reviewed last year. Still, these are seven stories I think comprise some of Marvel's all time best material.
- The Incredible Hulk- Future Imperfect: I am a huge fan of Peter David's work in general and his run on Hulk was hands down the best run the character has ever had, even topping that one or two part story by Harlan Ellison. I'm also a huge fan of the art of George Perez. Often times when top talent comes together there seems to be something missing or some explosive clash of egos destroys something that could have been cool. This is one of the rare pairings of peanut butter and chocolate together that creates Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. Just looking at all the hidden jokes in this books shows that David and Perez really enjoyed working together. Not only that, but Maestro is the scariest foe in Hulk's rogue's gallery.
- X-Men: Days of Future Past - When Chris Claremont is at the top of his game he is on fire. Dark Phoenix may be one of the most classic X-Men epics, but I think Days of Future Past was a better story. It is a smaller scale piece. It still has the fate of the world at stake but in a more personal way. I think that's important for a team book from time to time. Especially when you're just coming off something like Dark Phoenix.
- Punisher: In the Beginning- Several months ago I said I never really got why people liked The Punisher. For the most part, I still don't understand his popularity. After reading the satisfying Punisher Kills the Marvel Universe, I decided to try the rest of Garth Ennis's run. Again, it was no Preacher. Preacher had its moments of comedy. Somehow, Ennis took a character I generally hated and grabbed me by the throat. Unlike the Frank however, Ennis didn't throw me across the room and make me feel like crap. As sick as this may sound, I found some of it funny… When it comes down to it I still hate Frank Castle. Maybe because in the end, the book admits that we aren't supposed to like him that I've finally begun to understand the appeal if left in capable hands.
- The Fantastic Four Roast- I was tempted to put this one of the best done in one issue stories list last year. I had already put the equally gut wrenching 'Fred Hembeck Destroys the Marvel Universe' on the list. This one suffers, but only mildly, from a swiss cheese of a plot. However the real joy of this is comic is seeing Fred Hembeck and company coming up with some gentle riffs on each other. It is a must have for anyone who loves the Fantastic Four. Or those who think they love the Fantastic Four but have a perverse desire to see them suffer. This was done in the early 80s, so if Jack Kirby saw it I wonder what he thought of it.
- John Byrne's Entire Run on She-Hulk- Yes, that's right . . . it's one of the few cases where I am recommending an entire run. She-Hulk under the pen of John Byrne is a magical thing. It is filled with pop cultural references, humor and fun with no 90s angst. (That are some scenes that seem angst ridden but they used a mixture of saccharine and sarcasm as a substitute.) This series has everything from traditional super hero bouts, reviving Golden Age heroes nobody really remembers but actually did exist, getting hired by Santa and an actual editorial battle that gets nasty. Buy it and you will never think about beach balls and jump ropes the same way again. Surprisingly enough, Byrne manages to tie all of his (and a few of Steve Gerber and Louise Simonson's stories) into one arc.
- Marvel: 1602- Ever since he wrote American Gods, Neil Gaiman has become a big shot writer with movies scripts, film translation of Anime and best selling novels under his belt. Every once in awhile he decides to slum in the medium where he first found fame. The medium is all the better for it. 1602 combines the twisted urban fantasy meets Shakespeare mythos one generally expects with Neil Gaiman and the world of super heroics. It is almost disturbing how well the diverse elements mix and fit into the Elizabethan England. Some characters like Spider-Man change quite a bit. Doctor Strange and Nick Fury are eerily the same.
- The Death of Gwen Stacy Arc - I know many older fans will hate for including this one. In my mind, Gwen Stacy provided more interesting character development for Peter as corpse than she could ever provide for him while she was alive. We know those two were supposed to be in love but unlike many other Marvel couples of the time it didn't leap off the page. There was always more spark with Peter and Mary Jane. Killing Gwen Stacy forced Peter (and the writers) out of many of the comfort zones they'd developed. It even did something nobody expected, it caused Peter to find a certain degree of understand with one of his greatest foes, Flash Thompson. Though even I admit it also created many new comfort zones which Brand New Day put us back into.
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