As I return to writing this column on a regular schedule, I'd like to soon get back to actual world development and game mastery tips, but I hope you'll bear with me this month as I talk about something that's more related to player and character interactions. Specifically, I want to discuss why I think it's alright to flirt within the context of a roleplaying game, even if you're in an established relationship. Some people do not share my opinion, whether it's for religious reasons, because of jealousy, or because they love their significant other so much that it's unfathomable to roleplay having feelings for someone else. These are all valid reasons, even if you don't agree with them, so if someone in your group adheres to this philosophy, please respect their opinion and don't give them a hard time because they refuse to engage in sexually-charged banter with your character. That said, my personal opinion is that as long as certain conditions are met, there's nothing wrong with in-character flirtation. I am not my character and my character is not me, and while my characters often end up hooked up to my husband's characters, sometimes it just makes more sense for them to be interested in someone else's character. Or sometimes they like to seduce innocent villagers. Or sometimes they like to inspire group orgies. Just because I enjoy a life of happy monogamy doesn't mean that I must in turn only play characters which enjoy happy monogamy as well. But, as I said above, there are conditions that need to be met. Before engaging in the wanton seduction of your best friend's hot barbarian warrior, there are a few things you should probably do. First, if you are in a relationship, you should make sure that your significant other knows what is going on, and that it's just part of the game. This is especially important if your two are not in the game together. Next, you need to be sure that your group is comfortable with this sort of thing, especially if you're new to the group. Some people prefer a more action-oriented game and aren't interested in character interactions, especially not ones that might end with their character knocked up or carrying an exciting new STD. Some groups are used to couples only being involved with each other's characters and may make silly assumptions that your sorcerer's attempt to flirt with the sexy bard is your way of letting the bard's player know that you're a swinger. If you have a specific "target" in mind, you need to be sure that they'll react properly to the in-game actions. Just like some people take it personally when you kill their character, some will take it personally if you seduce their character. I especially recommend not engaging in any sort of in-game romance if you have strong suspicions that the other player has unreturned feelings for you. As a side note on this, sometimes people like to play characters of the opposite gender. I think that's fine. I also think that if you're gender-bending, you shouldn't get uncomfortable when your character gets hit on. But not all players feel that way, and not all players appreciate it when a gender-bent character starts flirting with their character. If their discomfort reaches the point where it's clearly affecting their ability to enjoy the game, you should really back off. I also think it's important to take a hands-off approach. It's certainly fine (and entertaining) to flip your hair or flex your muscles as a demonstration of how your character is trying to charm, but you should probably draw the line at demonstrating - on the player in question - how you're running your fingers down the paladin's well-muscled torso. That will just make everyone feel awkward. You may need to take special considerations for other types of games. I have never played in a LARP, but I suspect you might want to be a little more careful with behaving flirtatiously in that sort of game (or in a Ren Faire or SCA sort of situation), as you're actually physically playing your character, so there's less of a remove from them, and from the other player. In these situations, you and your out-of-character partner will need to be really clear on what lines you should not cross. I am however, much more familiar with on-line roleplaying, both in chat room form and on MMOs. As such, I know that it's not uncommon for flirtation to move on to in-character cybersex. I'm not going to weigh in on whether or not cybersex (in-character or otherwise) is cheating, but I will say that this is definitely, without a doubt, absolutely something that you need to discuss with your significant other before you engage in it. It's also extremely important that while you may think it's just a game, and your SO may have given you the go-ahead, but that doesn't mean that the person on the other side of the screen won't think that you have a deep, meaningful relationship. I've seen it happen and it ain't pretty. So you might be asking yourself, with all of the possible pit-falls associated with in-character flirtation, why do I recommend it? The truth is, it's just plain fun. Especially when you're in a long-term, established relationship. Yes, most couples flirt with each other, but it's a different, comfortable dynamic. You usually know where you are with your lover, you know what to say to make them happy, make them blush, make them respond with something sappy. Flirting in-game allows you to use all those stupid lines that would never work on your lover, and if the line is really stupid, or the other character isn't interested, you get the fun of seeing how you get shot down. Everybody laughs over it. There's no hurt feelings, because you're not really the one being rejected. So just relax, have fun, and finally tell the wizard how much you love his improbably violet eyes.

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Copyright © 2010 By AJ Reardon E-mail AJ at: ErtheFae@aol.com Visit AJ at: www.erthefae.net