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There must be something wrong with me. In spite of the fact that last time
I let my readers decide what I read, I went through an almost indescribable
amount of pain, here I am letting you farm animals, freaks and pharmaceutical
executives take control of this column for a second time. Remember folks- in
order to keep your insults funny, start them off absurd and make them crueler and
more true as they go along. Needless to say, those insults weren't funny.
I've heard about the guy you have hired to shovel up your place once a week.
Also if you people knew the lengths I had to go to in order to find some of this
Stuff, you'd kneel down and worship me because I am just that damn awesome.
Now- two readers who wish to go uncredited wrote in saying: 'We want
Deadpool!'
You want Deadpool, you got it:
Deadpool Classics Volume Three: I think I made a huge mistake. Back in the
1990s, I believed no character created by Rob Liefeld could bring anything good
to the world. I was wrong and I apologize. There is Deadpool, but even a
stopped digital clock is right once a day. Sure, Deadpool is a sick, demented,
sadistic killer for hire- but that's just part of his charm. Anyone who reads
this column knows how I feel about random pop culture references. Every time I
read an old fashioned comedic Deadpool story I feel like I've come home. I only
read trade paperbacks at home so that might explain a lot. Anyway- this trade
starts out extremely funny and get more and more insane. The 'Forrest Gump'
style issue 11 is hysterical. I'll never think about Aunt May the same way
again. Any series that includes two issues that guest star 'Whatever The Great
Lakes Avengers are calling themselves this week' has to be cool. Even at the
series most serious moments there are tons of laughs. I mean, what Typhoid Mary
does to Deadpool shouldn't be funny at all. It's the kind of thing that if it
happened to Spider-Man's neighbor half the fans on the internet would try to get
the writer involved fired. Somehow- probably because it was happening to
Deadpool- I couldn't help but laugh. What amazes me about Deadpool isn't
just how funny it is. No, it's that many of the characters like Warpath (from
X-Force) and Zoe Culloden (from Wolverine's supporting cast) seem more dry and
wooden than David Caruso's love child with Lance Henriksen everywhere else. Put
them into a Deadpool comic and they become dry wood under a magnifying glass on
a summer day in Yosemite National Park. Not to mention Deadpool's normal foils
Weasel and Blind Al who have almost as much spark and energy as Wade himself.
Even at $13 this trade was worth it. So I don't know why you people didn't want
to be identified- it's not like I was going to put you in the box or anything.
(Okay- maybe one of you... but you know what you did.)
There is a guy I know at a lot of local shows. His name is Gary. He is one
of the best dealers at D.C. area shows because even if you only see him at shows
once or twice a year, he remembers you. He's been known to give me some great-
some would even say insane- deals over the years, only a fraction of which have
made it into this column. He knows I have a soft spot for a certain quartet of
heroes. He recommended these two books even when he knew the only one he had in
stock was the really cheap one. He has never steered me wrong. He even tried
to talk me out of things before. I didn't listen and have regretted it... so I
decided to put Gary's instincts to the test.
Strange Tales: Remember the 'Deluxe Format' comics? Basically 75-125 page
comics on paperback book stock covers? Small print run books (for a mainstream
publisher anyway) that were usually painted by big name artists or people you
never heard of from somewhere in Europe... ringing any bells? Nope. How about
the anthology comic Strange Tales- which at various points of its long run was
home to monster stories, The Human Torch, The Thing, Nick Fury, Agent of
S.H.I.E.L.D, not to mention the birth place of Doctor Strange? Nope... Me
either. Lucky enough for all of us, Kurt Busiek remembered it and was able to
put to together a deluxe format comic that was as much a joy to read as it is to
simply look at. Busiek, the powerhouse of the pastiche, packs all the
principals and Strange Tales staples one can think of into a story where the
villain comes from stories being told being brought to life. It's an
interesting look at the dark aspect of mythos. The way for Strange, Wyatt
Wingfoot, Johnny Storm and Big Bad Benji Grimm get to clobbering time is one
I'm sure G.K. Chesterton would have approved of. Maybe I'm just an old school
Fantastic Four fan, but I think I got my money's worth when I gave up my solitary buck
for this mostly forgotten treasure. If you see it- grab it.
Fantastic Four: Unstable Molecules: In this Fantastic Four trade from 2003 they
are in their weirdest alternate reality yet- one frighteningly close to ours.
That's right- this story is told as if the first family of comics were real
people in the late 1950s. It tells the tale of the years before the accident.
All the adventures of virtuous people we've come to know are all great PR from
Marvel comics and masterminded by Sue. The foursome are quite a dysfunctional
family. The detached, even callously indifferent sugar daddy Reed Richards,
the sexually repressed Sue, the angry wannabe juvenile delinquent Johnny and the
alcoholic womanizing ex-boxer Ben. The only enemy they have to fight is each
other. Like many stories that deal with the deconstruction of the super hero, it
makes the point that the very traits that make them the world's greatest heroes
also makes them extremely broken people. This story is very off base with the
Fantastic Four we've all come to know and love over the years. Somehow Mr.
Sturm makes that seem like this world being the way it is, is in some way more
natural than forty years of Marvel's previous stories. The results is one of
the best Fantastic Four stories I've ever read. That ending is incredible.
It's raw, cold and human. At $7.50, I got what I paid for.
Now let's see what else I have in the request bin. There is this one from
Facebook's often glitchy chat box. Matt H. of Towson Maryland says: 'You do a
lot of regular Marvel. You should do more from the Ultimate Universe.' Oh
great- I suddenly feel Agent Mulder waking up on that leaky water bed again. Fine fine.... but the joke is getting old already.
Ultimate Spider-Man Volume Four: This volume has all the same weaknesses of
volume one of the omnibus collection. It is trying far, far too hard to be like
the Spider-Man movies. All the ingredients are there- Norman and Harry Osborn,
Mary Jane, Aunt May- and that Spider-Man movie tradition grafting other
character's big moments onto someone else. In this case, they hand Mary Jane
the moment that made Gwen Stacy famous. Only this being the Ultimate Universe
where Parker learns things ten times faster without ever actually studying, MJ
lives. Not to say that it was a bad story. It gave a rather unique and
complete picture of who Norman Osborn is and it sets up some serious changes in
Peter and Mary Jane's relationship. It makes Samuel L. Fury into a complete
and total smeghead. Oh wait- that's not different than before. The moment
where Harry hints that Flash Thompson is gay is pretty funny. That would have
been a much more interesting way for him to stay out of Vietnam. The final
confrontation with between Spidey and The Goblin is brutal and the outcome is
one I did not see coming. Was it worth the $7.5 I paid for it? Yes it is.
Here's another just so I don't have to print your stupid letter again...
Ultimate X-Men Volume Four: It can't be that bad. It's got Kitty Pryde in it.
(Remember that's the same excuse I had for reading X-Men: The Manga. But let's
just not go there and say we did.) One thing I will say- the Ultimate Kitty is
spunky and sarcastic like the mainline Kitty. She's got a compassionate heart
like the mainline Kitty. She thinks physics and science are boring- unlike the
mainline Kitty. She's not geeky at all. So in other words, you spell Kitty's
name J-U-B-I-L-E-E. After Kitty's introduction, it proceeds to go into its own
take on The Dark Phoenix saga. This is not a bad thing. Why read a relaunch of a
universe if you're getting an almost exact copy of the original story. (I'm
looking at you, Proteus.) Aside from Kitty's presence it has its fair share of
nods to the original story with the trip to fight sentinels in the Savage Land
and the introduction of the Hellfire Club. However, the book is at its
strongest points when either Jubilee-Kitty or Beast's online romance with Blob,
who is pretending to be a woman, are in the spotlight. Even with some of her
brains removed, Kitty is by far the most interesting member of the team. The
way they beat The Phoenix seems a little too easy but I'm sure there is a reason
for it that we won't see for five or six more volumes of trades. Or at least I
hope so, otherwise the whole Hellfire club story was a complete waste of time.
At least as far as Ultimate X-Men goes this is the best one I've read. I'm
going to have to say at $6.50, I got my money's worth.
And another just to shut you up...
Ultimate X-Men Volume Five: This volume collects 'The Ultimate War' miniseries
which is basically a huge battle between The Ultimates (the Ultimate Universe's
answer to The Avengers) and The X-Men. For some reason they placed it in the
X-Men category, but it is hard to see why. The X-Men are hardly in it.
Normally I'd consider this a blessing. It took four volumes for Ultimate X-Men
to get anywhere resembling good. Only in the Ultimate Universe they've made
Tony Stark even more of an alcoholic womanizer than ever before and Captain
America is seen toting guns and willingly going along with the violation of the
civil rights of innocent people. When I say the X-Men aren't in this battle
between them and the Avengers I really mean it. The first issue deals mainly
with The Ultimates and the Brotherhood with the X-Men briefly showing up to lick
wounds from the end of Ultimate X-Men Volume Four. The second chapter is The
X-Men running and hiding while the so called heroes round up the weaker members of
the Brotherhood send them off to Gitmo while offering membership to their team
to Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver. The third issue has the Ultimates beginning
to round up the X-Men and Jean whining about Scott dying. Then she starts being
paranoid about Wolverine. Of course Magneto shows up and kicks everyone's ass
back to Bedrock. It is only in issue four that the X-Men really get involved
in their own story and by then it is too little too late. No amount of gun
fights, explosions or people losing limbs can save it. Hell, not even a really
silly running gag about malfunctions in the back up danger room started in
issue two which leads to holographic rabbis being mowed down with machine guns
can save it. At least Millar didn't put any pointless sex in it. Though aside
from Samuel L. Fury and Dick Cheney, I didn't see any characters who had the
necessary spark. I so did not get my $5.50's worth here. You'll pay for this
Inspector Gadget!
So far only one stinker- but can your luck hold out?
Well, our next one comes from Mrs. Namei Whitt-Held, who asked for 'Some more
Annihilation'. Which brings us to...
Annihilation Classic: This collection is a real oddball. It starts with a
bang with Todd Dezago's Bug special. While it is by no means a great story, it is
still a barrel of laughs. It gets down right goofy. It is a fun tribute to the
works of Lee, Ditko, Kirby and Mantlo. The back activity pages with art by the
often imitated never duplicated Fred Hembeck is a perfect fit. Just don't try
the board game or the maze. Unfortunately, the next story is a Tohoesque turd
which tells the origin of Groot. Get this- he's a killer tree from Planet X.
If The Mighty Thor was the team of Lee, Lieber and Kirby's finest moments, then
Groot is the story they spent years trying to forget. Then the fun continues
with the first issue of the original Nova- one of the early works of Marv
Wolfman. It is one of his better series almost matching the quality of his
early issues of Teen Titans. (Though I already have this story in The Essential
Nova.) Quasar's re-origin was another nice inclusion. Nothing to
particularly write home about and nothing too offensive. It served (at the
time) as a slow reintroduction of a character who people in the 90s might not
have known about if they weren't reading Marvel Two-In-One during the 70s.
Remember how in the late 70s and early 80s Bill 'Micronaughts and Rom' Mantlo
were the go to guys for good toy based comics? Well the next series- reprinted
in its entirety- was a spoof on the philosophy and storytelling techniques of
toy based comics. I refer, of course, to Rocket Raccoon. The writer of the
story is just the icing on the cake- it was none other than Bill Mantlo. What
a whacked out twisted story it is, too. The childishness of the plot only helps
point out the absurdity of the ideas. The book does have its share of
weaknesses- it includes a truly horrible Drax and Thanos story that Marvel
originally buried by shoving it in the back of an issue of Logan's Run. The
Starlord story was aggravating because it basically tried to tell five issues
worth of stories in the amount of space that even in the 70s could only fit
one. Finally- it closed out with another flashback filled book, Marvel
Premiere #1- the secret origin of Adam Warlock. This one didn't seem as
cluttered as Starlord. Perhaps because it felt as if Roy Thomas had a reason
for tying together the diverse flashbacks. While it is a mild irritation- it
does pay off. So did I get what I paid for? At $12.50- yeah, I think I
did.
Annihilation Conquest Volume Two: This cosmic action at its most whiz bang,
snappy bantering, space swashbuckling best. The first arc is quite optimistic
story featuring Nova. Well, it's optimistic considering it's written by Abnett
and Lanning. The Phalanx are running wild and even the Xandarian Worldmind is
sputtering in and out like Cable TV in a thunder storm. Things take a turn for
the worse- or possibly weird and wonderful- when Richard Rider falls from grace
into the mind of the Phalanx. Next up is the introduction of an entirely new
character- The Wraith. Imagine an undead, soul-eating Kree Batman and you
pretty much grasp the concept. It's a nice brooding mystery that, alas, remains
unsolved. Once in awhile I'd like to see a big mystery that doesn't need
nineteen tie ins to get to the end of. After the Wraith- comes the main
event. How best to describe Annihilation Conquest.... okay. You ever see 'The
Empire Strikes Back'? That all the action, excitement, meeting zen masters,
battling yourself in the swamp, powerful people learning to be a hero and then
crank it up to 11. Then add a crazy guy who's willing to do anything to save
his people- even if it means bringing them to extinction. But it gets even cooler
than that because the Phalanx are more powerful than a Black Lantern Energizer
Bunny on steroids. Unlike the aforementioned Blackest Night, this one doesn't
disappoint or let up for a second. It grabs you by the ankles and hangs you
upside down. I don't care how much you may need the use the restroom during the
final issue- you won't. Trust me- I could have carried the book with me to the
john but I got so caught up in it that I forgot that books are made to be
carried. At $12.50, I got what I paid for- if I waited a few more months I
could have saved a buck or two and gotten the soft cover but I don't mind. I
had that much fun with it.
I have to admit at this point, on October 23rd, I have run out of
recommendations given to me specifically. Rather than go a whole week without
trades I'm going to go out on a limb and pick some things that were
recommendations from places on the web. Back on July 12th, 2010 writer J.M.
Dematteis wrote a blog entry about the influence of Harvey Pekar on his work.
Having deep respect for both the late Mr. Pekar and for Mr. Dematteis, I feel I
must oblige this one.
American Splendor: Another Dollar: I didn't want to read this volume of
American Splendor in one afternoon. I wanted to wait for some cold winter storm
where I could sit close enough to the fire to keep warm but far enough away that
I wouldn't roast. I was hoping for some nice warm cocoa with exactly four mini
marshmallows slowly melting in while I slowly sipped it, placing it on the white
bricks of the fireplace so it would not get cold. I wanted to take it slowly
knowing this would be my last chance for new stories from Harvey Pekar. Alas,
my will was not strong enough. There is a somber and accepting tone to this
book. A specter hangs over it. It's oddly calm and serene for a man known for
being such a gruff curmudgeon. While produced in 2008, you can't help but
wonder if on some level he knew this would be the final volume of American
Splendor that he would ever complete. Almost every story mentioned death,
doctors, hospitals or house pets. Perhaps the final story in which Pekar
laments about organizing his record collection as something he could never
accomplish is all we need to know. As always Harvey Pekar's writing goes into
deep dark places in his head and forces the reader to go on the same type of
introspective quest. At $7.50, this was an easy decision to buy and an even
greater experience to read.
Finally- I have gotten several requests for whole months worth of themes.
Richard C has asked: How about Spider-Month?'
I'd like another Essential Madness. If I really try, I can read maybe 4-5
of those a month so I don't have to put much work into the column itself. As
the prophet Jagger said: 'You can't always get what you want.' That being
said, I don't have enough Spider-Man related trades in my box just yet. I
have seven or eight people left on my Christmas list and that means budget cuts
for the next month or so. So be here for 'Holiday Grab Bag' next month. Then
if all goes according to plan, January will be Spider-Month. After all, you
aren't the only one who asked- just the first. Who knows? If you're really
lucky, I'll even have that Spider-Ham trade by then.
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