Dear Santa, Yeah- it turns out the Hogfather doesn't deliver presents to this reality and I'm a little iffy on asking Gozer the Gozarian for anything. Though She/he/it might fulfill my wildest dream of getting a twinkee approximately 35 feet long weighing 600 pounds. I have been very good this year. I put a Dungeons and Dragons boxed set in my local Toys for Tots box. I'll be getting more stuff for them as soon as I get stuff for my mom and dad. I haven't smashed the office copier beyond repair this year either. More importantly I read 'The Monster at The End of This Book' to my nephew in my Grover voice even though I knew with my cold my voice might get stuck that way. It's happened before. I once got stuck doing Wallace Shawn for almost a month. Then again, the difference between my voice with a head cold and Wallace Shawn is very small indeed. This year I would like: A geeky girl to hang out with in a social capacity. If that social capacity grows into something more on her end- I'm won't put up much resistence. If she just wants to hang around and be fed sandwiches and troll most of the museums in the Smithsonian, I'm fine with that too. I want a copy of Uncanny X-Men #129 signed by Chris Claremont and John Byrne. I was going to ask you to beat the living $#*! out of the executives who own the rights to Gamera so the MST3K versions would finally be released on DVD. Though press releases from Best Brains Productions say that the executives at Shout! Factory already took care of this request for early 2011. I want Peter David to name the ensign in charge of waste disposal in a Star Trek: New Frontier after me only to have my namesake flushed out into space. A little bit more spare time to work on League of Explorers Annual #1 instead of writing a stupid gag column would be nice. To get at least a few more suggestions for trades so I can end 'Did I Get What I Paid For?' with a bang and not a whimper. The half of readership is getting their present in that regard in January due to serious budget constraints. More spare time to write those essays on Joseph Campbell and super heroes and/or Ben Sisko. Pants. I know I got got some back in April but between January and April I went from 263 pounds down to 240 pounds. Now I'm about 215 lbs. A working prose portal. I promise not to work with original manuscripts. To find out what the tenth item on my Christmas list is. Your friend in Time, Jess Willey

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