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by Jesse N. Willey
Cue Music everybody . . .
Spider-Month! Spider-Month!
What really rhymes with month?
At least orange
Rhymes with syringe.
Look out!
This is the Spider-Month!
There that explains that. Now onto the reviews . . .
Spider-Man: India: The Makers of X-Men: The Manga should take a few lessons
from this four issue miniseries. Lesson one: If you're going to adapt your
comic to another culture go to that country and get writers and artists from
that country to make your comic. It allows the story to develop an authentic
feel. Lesson two: Change any elements that don't fit, but try to do so in a way
that respects the source material. Are the origins of Spider-Man, Green Goblin
and Doctor Octopus in here exactly the same as Stan Lee originally envisioned
them? No. Would it have hurt the Indian version of the story if they were?
Yes. On the other hand, many of the character traits and story elements that
make Peter Parker who he is are also present in Pavitr Prabhakar. 'With great
power comes great responsibility' (used here as a true mantra) is such a
universal theme that if writers and artists wanted to they could make a
Spider-Man for almost anywhere. I really enjoyed this book. It was a nice use
of five dollars and I rapturously await its long awaited sequel: Spider-Man:
Yugoslavia. (Kidding... then again it could work.)
Arana: The Heart of a Spider: The book is yet another attempt to create
Spider-Woman. What separates this from previous attempts is that they've
done one thing you don't see very often- a female Hispanic who doesn't come off
as a racist stereotype. I think that might be a first. In some respects it is
filled with things we have seen before. The teenage super hero dealing with
bullies. The comic relief computer hacker who shades of the Lone Gunmen just
happens to be good at everything computer related. The story by Fiona Avery,
spins off of the some of the mystical elements from J. Michael Stracynzski's run
on Amazing Spider-Man. While Spider-Man had almost 40 years of continuity
before getting them sewed onto him, here you have a blank slate. The dueling
secret societies and South American mysticism seemed horrendously out of place
for a guy from Queens with radioactive blood but with Arana, a brand new character
it works. Another interesting step was instead of making her bookish and
nerdy like Peter Parker, or easily confused because she grew up around animal
people like Jessica Drew, Anya Corazon is the most popular girl in her freshmen
class. Peter and Jessica were somewhat wise in their beginnings. Anya is
just wiseassed. Anya spends most of this book somewhat confused but this is
somewhat forgivable because it is an origin story and that's how someone would
act their first few times in that type of situation. Overall, the book was
fun. At $3.50 it was a good deal.
Arana: In The Beginning: This volume picks up right where the last on left off.
Arana is beginning to discover what her transformation really means. A new foe
is introduced and it puts her at odds with her friend. Plus the relationship to
said villain progresses in a way I haven't seen in some time. The third issue
even has an all too brief appearance by the friendly neighborhood Spider-Man.
It was really interesting to see Spidey not acting like a wiseass or an overly
moralistic pain in the butt which have been his two default settings for the
past ten years or so. You know how in teen sitcoms in the 70s and 80s there
was always that kinda cool non-parental figure who the kids could always count
on to set them on the right path without being too judgmental? That's
Spider-Man. It really works well if you go into read this knowing that Peter
Parker had just become a teacher. The limitations on Miguel and Anya's powers
are quite interesting and the mysteries that still remain are really nagging at
me. On the other hand- it was not worth my $4.50. Why? Because just I was
about to finish issue six, the binding fell off the book. If I bought it at a
comic store that would be no problem. I could just take it back. I picked this
out of a cheap box at a show- so what can I do? Turns out crazy glue works
better than I thought. It's probably better bound now than most Marvel trades
are to start- aside from being a little off, it's holding fine. Still scratching
glue residue off your hands while watching Raising Hope is a son of an Osborn.
Ultimate Spider-Man Volume Five: The first part with Peter trying and failing to
sneak out of school to fight the Rhino is pretty funny. Bendis may be a master
of noir but perhaps he missed his true calling as a comedian. The next arc
Bendis borrows a cliche from almost every 80s and 90s cartoon show. Somebody
makes a knock off of the heroes suit and no matter how crappy it is- it fools
everyone. Only here the guy somehow makes a very reasonable costume. The
crime spree isn't ludicrously pulled off either. The unnamed Faux Spider-Man,
is amongst other things, a murderer. Given Peter's own history- his reaction
is simply perfect. The plot is maybe cliched but the characterization more than
make up for it. Then there is the side plot of the ongoing love triangle gone
haywire with Peter, MJ and Gwen Stacy. With Captain Stacy's death things only
get worse. I mean imagine you're a high school guy and you have a girlfriend.
Then that girl you talk to that isn't your girlfriend moves into your house.
Yeah- it's like that. Again, cliched but Bendis makes the characterization
work. Did I get what I paid for? Yeah... at $7.50, I think I did. There was
no super glue on this one- I'll tell you that much.
I'm well into the second week of the month- so enough of these alternate
universe webheads and second string warm-up acts. It's time to get to the one,
true Spider-Man. Accept no imitations. Okay- maybe Ben Riley but no one else.
Spider-Man Legends- Todd McFarlane Volume 2: Ah- the joys of the good old classic
David Michelinie Spider-Man. No matter how dark and creepy a situation is,
Spider-Man still finds some wiseass comment to make. He takes the world in
stride. Even when his new wife is kidnapped. He gets angry and inflicts pain
but always feels bad about it. It's Spider-Man as he was meant to be. Yes,
I'm talking about the writing half of a book meant to spotlight the artistic
achievements of Todd McFarlane. Why? The visuals are a little jarring. The
occasional shots with weird anatomy work only because Spider-Man is supposed to
have inhuman agility. The shots focus on real people though- I'm not going to
slam those. MJ looks great. Thanks to a recent column at one of our
competitors, I knew to be on the look out for cameos by Felix the Cat. Which
betrays the fact that at least before McFarlane's Image problem, he might have
had a sense of humor. While the return of Humbug that spotlights Michelinie's
sense of humor, McFarlane hides jokes everywhere even during Inferno, of all
places. The New York Library lions coming to life reminds me of a bit from an
episode of The Jim Henson Hour that I remember from my childhood. (Maybe they saw it
too.) The only story I found visually annoying was the Prowler story at the
end. The way McFarlane drew him- his cape had to be 20 feet long. He'd be
tripping over it all the time. Over all- at $7 I got what I paid for.
X-Men and Spider-Man: This four act story, told mostly as a series of
flashbacks, was a lot of fun. Yes, there are some retcons but not as much as
one might think. (Sinister was already stated to have been watching Scott
Summers for years and the story didn't change their first meeting.) Other
than that, the first story felt like a quasi-modernized Stan Lee-Roy Thomas
piece set in the early 70s. The second story, an attempt at blending Chris
Claremont's 'Mutant Massacre' and J,M. Dematteis's 'Kraven's Last Hunt' was
probably the least successful blend probably because those two stories are so
beloved by fans and would be awfully hard to improve upon them. Still the
characters stayed true to form and I really liked the interaction between Rogue
and Spidey. The third story was almost a natural. The ongoing thread involved
clones and which Spider-Man does it use? Ben Riley, you say? You said the
magic word, the duck comes down you win a prize. I also like the really subtle
clue that the X-Men seem to miss. When they see the test tubes with Sinister's
clones of the original X-Men- there should be five failed clones. All you see
are Cyclops, Iceman, Beast and Angel. No Jean. If I hadn't done some, ahem,
Pryor reading I wouldn't know. (What is it with me and puns today.) The final
act set around the time of the series release ties everything up. Everything
from Kraven, the stolen DNA samples and the clones. The only fault I found here
was Christos Gage's insistence of writing Kitty Pryde as the damsel in
distress. She took out a N'garai horde when she was 15. She's one of the few
X-Men who can go several rounds with Wolverine. Her worrying about her
teammates and rushing to their aid is perfectly in character. If they needed
somebody to get rescued (again) every fifteen seconds it was a poor character
choice. Still overall- I got my $10 out of this hardcover.
Spider-Man: Torment: I'll say one thing about writer Todd McFarlane. He has
cajones. It takes a lot of brass to do a thematic sequel to Fearful Symmetry
(aka Kraven's Last Hunt). Some stories are so emotional and so perfect that
they become practically sacred ground. No sequels are really required.
Certainly not one by anyone other than J.M. Dematteis and Mike Zeck. So I'm
conceding Mr. McFarlane that much. But in the words of Jean-Luc Picard: 'This
far and no further. The line must be drawn here!' Writing this story, he opens
himself up to comparison to what many consider to be the greatest Spider-Man
story ever told. Torment doesn't even come close to being a worthy successor.
If you replace Vermin with Lizard and Kraven with his mysterious ex-lover
(Calypso?), Tormented follows Kraven's Last Hunt dramatically almost beat by
beat, minus the graveyard scenes which was part of what made Fearful Symmetry
such a hard hitting story. Remember that almost shot for shot remake of Psycho
starring Vince Vaughn? Imagine if the remake had decided to leave out the
shower scene. If you're going to steal you might as well steal the whole
thing. In the original story you saw many perspectives- including Peter
Parker and Kraven, both of whom saw themselves as heroes. Here you have Peter
Parker whose just trying to stay alive and an omniscient narrator who fills the
audience in on what's happen even if Spider-Man does not. It makes the story
much less satisfying. What few glimpses we get into Calypso's mind, she refers
to herself as evil several times. Where Kraven's Last Hunt is beloved for a
sense of realism- this comes off like the Saturday morning cartoon version. Who
really thinks of themselves as evil? Does Kim Jong Ill wake up in the morning
and say 'How am I going to be evil today?' No, he puts on his GI Joe Costume and
granny glasses and does evil things for reasons that make sense in his mind. So
over all, the story showed the degree of competence one would expect from a
writer who thinks debating with Peter David is a good idea. On top of this,
the story is also visually confusing. Some of this is due to an over reliance
on overlapped panels, images within images and a zillion two page splash panels
designed to make cool T-Shirts. Not only that but The Lizard changes shape and
color almost at whim. His coloration jumps from green, to blue to white and back
again several times. His tail seems four feet long on some panels and up to
six feet long in the others. Sometimes you wonder if his mouth is shaped in
such a way that it could actually open. Other panels he looks equipped to
devour a 1967 Volkswagen Minibus complete with four hippies and a talking dog.
It's still much better than Liefeld but then so is my nephew's artwork and he's
almost three. This trade was not worth my $7.50.
Spectacular Spider-Man- Civil War: The strength of this set is that Roberto
Aguirre-Sacasa did not set out to write a Spider-Man story. Not really. He
wrote a Peter Parker story where he happens to put on a suit and fight crime.
Which is what good Spider-Man writers try to do and the best do almost
instinctively. The opening volley isn't really even a Peter Parker story
either. It's one of Peter's student's reactions to the controversial
unmasking. It features a character who is my second favorite Spider-Villain of
them all- Doc Ock. (Though J.J.J. is there too.) The main event 'The Deadly
Foes of Peter Parker' is the big thing anyone with half a brain would think
would see happening if Spidey unmasked himself to the public. All the second
string villains teaming up and attacking his friends and family. At least that
small percentage of Spider-Man's rogues gallery who aren't his former
professors, best friends, high school bullies or father's nephew's cousin's
former roommate. (Second time I've used that reference in this series. We
have running gag status.) Who really saves the day might just be one of the
biggest Holy $#*! moments I've read in a comic in a long time- and not only that
but it's smegging hysterical. The final two parter looks into the whole Civil
War arc through Mary Jane's eyes and also deals with Peter's battle with The
Rhino. Plus, Black Cat acts like the creepy ex-girlfriend you actually invite
over to scare the Jehovah's Witnesses away. The book itself is a lot of fun.
It was worth my seven dollars.
Timestorm 2009=2099: Welcome to third iteration of Marvel's 2099- where as the
second incarnation bore more no connection to the first, this one is could almost
be considered Ultimate 2099. Here Miguel O'Hara is still Miguel O'Hara. Only
he doesn't have a brother, he has a dad and not a mom and he becomes Spider-Man
as a teenager. The story focusing mostly on Miguel O'Hara- The Spider-Man
teaming up with Peter Parker to stop a rip in time from destroying two realities
has a lot of nice plot twists. The dialogue is very snappy. However the last
chapter seems a little rushed. Other than that- the story was a lot of fun.
Even when the story shifted focus a little bit to Ghost Rider 2099, the two
Wolverines and brief cameo by another Spider-Alumnus Jessica Drew and the
omnipresent Norman Osborn. While the story claims the old 2099 no longer
exists, I claim doubt on this. After all, at least two variants of Miguel O'Hara
are known to exist across the multiverse. Other multiverse thought to be
destroyed have shown up. Over all- as time travel romps go- this one packs
enough excitement and fun that it kept me guessing. I got plenty of laughs out
of it. At $10 for the hardcover, I got what I paid for.
Speaking of Miguel O'Hara- an interlude
Exile: World Tour Book Two: No- you didn't misread. Exiles- Marvel's book of
multiverse hopping mutants is part of Spider-Month. The first two stories- a
trip to a variant of Marvel's initial version of 2099 has a pretty extensive
use of Miguel O'Hara- Spider-Man 2099. As the hunt for Proteus continues-
Miguel's life is turned on its head. He's stripped of his job and his secret
identity. Then Miguel becomes the point of view character for most of the
Exiles trip into the world of Hulk: Future Imperfect. Together- these two arcs
show off Tony Bedard's obvious love for the works of Peter David. Future
Web-Head takes a back seat in the Squadron Supreme. This story is still
touching as Morph recounts his life in a way that leads right up to a very
surprising moment. Spider-Man plays a small but key background role in 'Heroes
Reborn'. The story sort of falls apart with out him. Finally, in the funeral
issues- there are some really funny scenes between Miguel and Morph. At nine
bucks, I got my money's worth.
And now the conclusion . . .
New Avengers: The Power: This book has plenty of Spider-Man. It's got plenty of
Spider-Woman but the character who dominates every scene- even when he isn't on
the page- is Norman Osborn. This collection holds every issue of Dark Reign,
Brian Bendis's three series long attack on the policies of George W. Bush. The
ideas behind it are fine. I've got no trouble with that. The concept of the
real heroes on the run while criminals run the government is a really
interesting take. A minor problem I have with Bendis's writing here has more
to do with the editing. He has a tendency to write how people actually speak.
Only the illusion becomes broken when $#*! like that gets put in place of real
(&^#ing profanity. See what I mean? Nobody talks in goddamn newspaper censor
marks. In my mind the true annoyance is that New Avengers and Dark Avengers
titles Bendis was writing should have read simultaneously. Reprinting them as
if they were separate stories makes it incredibly hard to follow though not
completely incoherent. The issue regarding the fate of Jessica Jones' and Luke
Cage's baby was a really good issue made all the more stronger with the use of
the Dark Avengers. This is a rare case with Bendis- I'm not annoyed enough
that I want to throw the book across the room but I wasn't really wowed by it
either. I'm just sort of lukewarm to it all. The book was dirt cheap at $5 so
I guess I got what I paid for it- maybe.
And now a bonus feature -- Ten Spider-Man Stories you must read:
- Silver Surfer Volume 1. #14: What is an issue of Silver Surfer doing on a
best of Spider-Man list? A great question, True Believers! This is a rare
achievement in the Marvel standby of Hero vs. Hero stories. Both sides seem- at
least from one standpoint- to be doing the right thing. Of course they kinda
sorta agree to disagree- but it's a great story written by the one and only Stan
Lee.
- The Death of Jean DeWolff: This story has Spider-Man once again dealing
with personal loss as he hunts a serial killer. It's got action, twists and
turns, the starting point of the downfall of Eddie Brock, a fight with Daredevil
and so much more. It's also got the first professional script by Peter David.
- Spider-Man and Human Torch: This miniseries by Dan Slott is incredible.
It's action packed. It's got heroes trading insults. It answers the age old
question- Do Spider-Man and the Torch really hate each other? The answer is-
nah- I won't tell.
- Spider-Man's Tangled Web #20 'Behind the Mustache': This is not really a
Spider-Man story. It looks into the mind of one of Spider-Man's greatest foes-
J. Jonah Jameson. It's a long twisted ride that gives a little
more meat to Jameson. While it sort of contradicts some of Stan Lee's motivation
for the character, it does a lot to humanize Jonah.
- Spider-Man: Soul of a Hunter: This sequel to Kraven's Last Hunt is not
quite the caliber of the original. Sequels almost never are. Still it shows
that Peter Parker didn't get out of that situation entirely unscathed. The
writing is still strong. It's still a very strong story.
- Amazing Spider-Man Annual #21: The Wedding: This one is a good one and
there are no super villains in it unless of course you count J. Jonah Jameson.
Just Peter Parker angst over what should have been the easiest decision he's
ever made in his whole life. Really- choosing your high school bully to be
your best man would have been a harder decision but he makes that one in about
30 seconds.
- Marvel Team-Up Volume 1. #137: Okay, Spider-Man isn't in this issue much. This
is really an Aunt May story. Aunt May- Herald of Galactus. See- she winds up
babysitting Franklin Richards- and then there's something about Twinkees- and it
might have been everyone's collective dream or the assistant editor's being
allowed to run the company for a month. Or something like that. It's a very
funny read. Trust me.
- Marvel Team-Up Volume 1. #74: Spider-Man has always been- in some respects-
one of Marvel's funniest heroes. It's not just because of his wisecracks. He
also gets himself into the most absurd situations. Here combines both- and
even here when he's teamed up with the classic cast of Saturday Night Live-
Spider-Man is the straight man for many of the routines. You won't believe how
the fight between John Belushi's Samurai vs. Silver Samurai ends.
- The Amazing Spider-Man #248: The Kid Who Collects Spider-Man: This story is
a real heartbreaker. What makes Peter Parker such an endearing character is
that you can put him in so many situations and he's still himself.
- Kraven's Last Hunt: I've reviewed this book before and I reran that review
just last August. Dematteis and Zeck go out of their way to break Spider-Man's
soul- only to reveal Peter Parker underneath. It is without a doubt the
greatest Spider-Man story ever told.
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