I have a new gaming-related pet peeve, and it's people whose characters are really involved in the plot, but they as players are not reliable about attending the game. This has become a major problem in the Legend of the Five Rings game I'm playing, and may even cause the death of one player's character as the only person in the group who had the information to save him didn't show up to the game at the last minute. Here's the thing: because I'm now heavily involved in belly dancing, I miss gaming a lot. But I realized this would be an issue and rather than dropping out of the game entirely, I play characters who don't get as involved in the plot. When I'm there, I work to help the group, but I also work to make sure that my absence won't be a major hindrance. Sometimes though, someone will take months-long absences from the game and neglect to inform any other character in the group about the vital information they have on the plot. It's frustrating for the group - especially if we know the info out of character because the GM mentioned it in front of everyone - and it's frustrating for the GM to have to work around the sudden lack of a major player in the plot. Now don't get me wrong - I know that real life gets in the way. But the key is to plan accordingly. Be open with your group and do your best to ensure that everyone knows everything that isn't a private secret detail about your character. If you know who murdered the mayor's daughter, and it's not you or someone you're trying to protect, there's no point in not telling the entire group! Another option is to say to the GM "Hey, I really feel bad about missing the game and I forgot to tell the group who the murderer is. Here's my character sheet, can you run me as an NPC long enough to set the others on the right path?" A reasonable GM will probably work with you because it will keep his game from stalling out. Most importantly, if you know you're going to miss the game frequently because of other commitments, don't vie to be the party leader or constantly go off on your own to investigate things. Be considerate of the fact that players who do attend every week are probably invested in the story and want to be able to move it forward even when you're not there. Yeah, it's frustrating to have to miss the game because of work and find out that the party solved the entire mystery while you were gone and now they're embroiled in a whole new storyline, but it's even more annoying to be the rest of the group and have to sit around doing side quests because you're missing the one crucial bit of info or useful item needed to proceed. Honestly, it's hard transitioning from those carefree days when gaming could be a top priority and you only had to miss it when you were sick. It's not that becoming an adult means outgrowing games, it just means that more things interfere with them. You can't very well say "Wow Fred, I'd love to come to your wedding but my group needs me for a dungeon crawl." You can't tell your boss that you can't go to that important conference because you're supposed to GM that weekend. It takes a lot of adjusting to find a way to still be part of the game without being such an important part that things fall apart when you're not there (believe me, I know... when you're the only healer and the creeping crud keeps you from attending a session, you usually come back to a very different set of characters than you left). Just hang in there, and be prepared to occasionally apologize to the group when your absence means things go a little crazy.

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Copyright © 2011 By AJ Reardon E-mail AJ at: ErtheFae@aol.com Visit AJ at: www.erthefae.net