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Remember how I said this list would feature the best stories of various heroes and a second list of various topics? Thus far, I've limited myself to a particular hero and the world around them. Not this time. You see- as many people pointed out, there are certain books where one writer has written so many good issues that it would be hard to do a top ten list without covering just that one author. In the case of the X-Men that author is Chris Claremont. The obvious solution is do one list of "Claremont's best X-Men stories" and another list called "The Best of Everyone Else." Also by X-Men, I'm only including books that fans call the core X-Books. The ones with X-Men right in the title. If this hadn't been an anniversary issue, I would have been a total jackass and put all the spin-offs and miniseries in their own column. Unfortunately- fate was against me so I had to be nice to you. You get two extra lists this month. So the next issue blurb in the last column that listed this as "The X-Men Part One" was a mistake. But wait, there's more. Since this is Collector Tines's 14th anniversary issue your regular Top Ten list will not be shown this month so that we may bring you a special Top Fourteen List.
Oh yeah - and before I forget this column is openly biased toward my favorite X-People. I'm sure if Jason Bourgeois wrote this column The Dark Phoenix Saga would have been a lot higher on the list. All kidding aside, I'd like to thank him for his expert opinion on "The Best of Claremont" section for making sure I didn't leave off any really big important issues to pursue my personal favorites. If I did, it is just a case of where my personal favorites are ones he agreed with. So if I left off something important blame him. He takes full responsibility.
- The Adventures of Lockheed the Dragon and His Pet Girl Kitty (Uncanny X-Men Annual #8): In what is one of the longest titles ever to grace an X-Men story, Illyana gets in the spirit of campfire stories by telling a strange bed time story for The X-Men and New Mutants while on a late night excursion on the school grounds. While taking a few hints from Star Wars and Anne McCaffery's Dragonriders of Pern- this sequel to Kitty's Fairy Tale is a little more intense than the original, which should be a given- considering the difference in personalities of the narration. This story is still a chance for the X-Men to tell a weird and off beat story. Plus it allows Claremont to skirt the issue of just how smart Lockheed is- yet again.
- X-Men Forever Series 1: I know I'm going to take a hit for this, but I think that X-Men Forever is amongst the best series Claremont has ever done. Freed from the chains of Earth 616, Claremont was not afraid to push the envelope of what the X-Men were really about. Which is something the X-books really hadn't done since Grant Morrison. He tried to break a lot of characters out of their indefinite holding patterns which is something unseen on the core X-books since well, since Chris Claremont left the book in the 1990s. It not only felt like he never left but if this was really what he wanted to do with the X-Men then Marvel was foolish for kicking him off the book in the first place. The only thing that separates X-Men Forever from other Claremont X-Books is that between the two series he actually wrote an ending.
- Scavenger Hunt (Uncanny X-Men Annual #7): The X-Men and friends are in for the challenge of their lives. Okay- not really but close enough. The Impossible Man has started playing a scavenger hunt and he's looking for the greatest treasures of the Marvel Universe. Everything from Mjolnir, Captain America's shield and some anti-metal all the way down to mundane things like Nick Fury's eye patch. The X-Men are trying to contain the damage. Any guesses on how easy that is? Take into account that this is a double sized annual with only one story in it and that should give you some idea.
- Demon (Uncanny X-Men #143): Aha! Christmas- a time for presents, food, family and demons. Where the stockings are hung from the chimney with care in hopes that Saint Nicolas soon would be…wait did I just say demons? Yes, I did. Who can stop this Christmasy crisis? Why Sprite (aka Kitty Pryde) of course. Yep, a whole horde of impossibly strong demons against one fourteen year old girl. Those poor, poor, N'garai don't know what they are getting into. Even with a half broken danger room and almost no fighting skills, Kitty manages to kick their butt using brains and luck. While it is a little bit more of a horror story than your typical Christmas issue- it is a fun read. If you read only one "demons try to ruin Christmas" comic next holiday season, I recommend this one.
- Wolverine's Wedding (Uncanny X-Men #172-#173): A lot changed for Wolverine during his first miniseries. He found love. He got entangled with an ongoing ninja war. Without him, the X-Men made changes too. They took in Rogue- a former foe. This didn't sit well with Logan. Rogue had absorbed the powers and memories of Mrs. Marvel (Carol Danvers)- effectively murdering her while leaving her alive. Wolverine and Danvers were friends. Through the course of this story, Wolverine and Rogue both learn a thing or two about redemption. There is also a great subplot about Storm discovering her wild side.
- The Trial of Magneto (Uncanny X-Men #200): Good X-Men stories are all about ethical and social issues. Is a man responsible for crimes he committed in what is literally another life? Or acts committed while mentally ill? Is revenge justified? Do the ends justify the means? If a man sees the warning signs of a pending disaster- and he has the power to prevent it- what is his obligation to prevent it? Is there a limit to what one should do to survive? Does might make right? Can a society deny someone human rights while at the same time try them for crimes against humanity? Those are all the questions asked in this case. The trial does not come to a clear conclusion. It finds time to throw in plenty of other stories. Xavier dealing with a mysterious illness. The Fenris twins attack. Things are set in motion that change- for a good long while- the status quo of the two X-books.
- What Was That? (Uncanny X-Men #196): Usually mega event tie ins don't go out of their way to tell a good story, just a middling albeit entertaining one. That is not the case with this issue. The Beyonder story is just background noise to a great mystery that is not exactly a whodunit but more of a who's gonna do it. It also does what the X-Men do best- act as a metaphor for racial equality. Some people are shocked by some of the language Claremont used- particularly coming out of the mouth of a 15 year old girl. There are times when using offensive language is appropriate. Racism is a very real and very hurtful thing; however art can be a powerful tool to fight it. It is impossible to comment on racism in fiction without having at least one character behave in a racist fashion. Here the context is clearly laced with a degree of sarcasm in order to point out the racist tendencies of some of Kitty's classmates. While it may lack subtly, it can be placed in the same category as Lenny Bruce, Mark Twain and Kurt Vonnegut.
- LifeDeath (Uncanny X-Men #186): While she was supposed to be leader/co-leader of the team, Storm often still remained in the background. This story shows why this is a mistake. She is an incredibly interesting character. She's just happens to be in a book which at the time, had some of the most interesting and well developed characters in mainstream comics. It is easy to get a little lost in the crowd. The now powerless Storm takes refuge with Forge. A romance of sorts begins to form. Slowly but surely it begins to crumble as she begins to realize how much of it was built on a house of cards. It's a story of love and heartbreak. Combine it with a parallel plot involving Rogue and Val Cooper, it becomes three stories of personal redemption.
- The Phoenix Saga (Uncanny X-Men #101-108): You couldn't have the Dark Phoenix Saga without the original. However, it is clear throughout this arc that while the X-Men are exploring outer space, Chris Claremont is still exploring just what he wants the X-Men to be. It is a little raw and uneven. It's a prototype of what the rest of his run would become- a classic amongst super hero comics.
- Kitty's Fairy Tale (Uncanny X-Men #153): Did you ever wish The Dark Phoenix Saga could have been funny? Me neither- but I got it anyway and it was almost as good as the original. You see, young Illyana won't go to sleep. So Kitty tells her a bed time story. In it, Pirate Kitty and Piotr try to help Scott Summers try to save his one true love. Along the way they run into Mean- a monster who is the best there is at what he does, Bamf the Half Nightcrawler Half Smurf and their new flying friend Lockheed the Dragon. (His first appearance.) While Kitty tells the tale the other X-Men overhear it and love it just as much as the young girl does. It is a tale so beloved it spawned at least three sequels.
- The Dark Phoenix Saga (Uncanny X-Men #129-138): This is best of the X-Men epics. It has angst, cosmic disasters, brutal combat, a love triangle, dangerous new villains, betrayals, self sacrifice, death and the mass murder of broccoli. Anything you want an X-Men storyline to be it is because Marvel was willing to give almost a year over to letting Claremont tell the tale. It manages to be big in scope and personal in scale. It's full of great moments for every member of the team, however it is clearly Jean and Scott's story. Plus, it introduces my personal favorite member of the X-Men. Hint: It is not Dazzler.
- Professor Xavier is a Jerk! (Uncanny X-Men #168): Sometimes you just want a break from the craziness. This done in one issue story is an amazing day in the life of story. It is one of those masterful issues where it appears nothing happens but has more going on than you think. Kitty fighting for her place on the X-Men. Nightcrawler spends some time with Amanda. Xavier is struggling to deal with his cloned body. Wolverine goes back to Canada- again. Cyclops spends an evening with Lee Forrester until a new and mysterious woman (Madelyne Pryor) walks into his life. Plus, everyone's favorite little pal from the Broodwar- Lockheed the Dragon finds his way to Earth.
- Days of Future Past (Uncanny X-Men #141 and 142): This is a great time travel story. In it, Rachel Summers transmits the adult Kate Pryde's mind into in her teenaged body in an attempt to prevent an assassination that created their timeline. It presents a bleak future- one that is truly terrifying. Everything the X-Men fought to preserve and create is gone. All the other super heroes are dead. All because one life was allowed to end. This story set the stage for a lot of the stories Claremont told later on. While epic in scale, it was still a nice break from the truly panoramic scope of the Dark Phoenix saga of a few months before. There is also something surprising in this- one of the grittiest of all of Claremont's X-Men stories contains unofficial cameos by characters from Superman to Doonesbury. I'm not kidding.
- God Loves, Man Kills (Marvel Graphic Novel # 5): This is not only the best X-Men story Chris Claremont ever told, it may be the very best X-Men story ever told- period. It hits all the right notes. Great art. Great story. Strong dialogue. Villains who had well defined motivations and not just whack jobs. It had emotional drive. It took on certain political overtones. It dealt with religion. It does all the things that good science fiction and fantasy are supposed to do. It also had plenty of action. It managed to be all these things while not failing at any of them. It is a near perfect piece.
And the best of everyone else. There is a part of me that wanted to put Giant Sized X-Men #1 on the list but I just couldn't bring myself to do it.
- New Worlds (New X-Men #127-#133): Xavier's status as a mutant is public. He begins trying to get himself back together. The public is not too pleased with a "mutant terrorist training camp" in their backyard. Young disaffected mutants begin wearing "Magneto was Right" t-shirts. Cyclops marriage begins its long, slow path to disintegration as he begins some questionable psychic conversations with Emma Frost. The X-Men begin to let the mysterious Xorn become part of the team and teaching staff. All of these on their own are nothing major. Put them together and you've got something.
- X-Men Unlimited #32: Have you ever been so tired that you couldn't move your arm a quarter of an inch to change the channel only to get stuck watching multiple episodes of "Behind the Music?" That's sort of what this issue is like. Only instead of being just a washed out rock star it's an issue about Dazzler- a washed up rock star and super hero. The look back at her career is hilarious for those who have suffered through every issue of her solo series and for those X-Book fans who knew better than to try. It pokes fun at a series that for all intents and purposes shouldn't have been published in the first place. It follows the pattern of every "Behind the Music" episode. The star had obvious talent before being discovered. The star rises. The star has a career meltdown which results in either a comeback attempt, their death or both. With Dazzler apparently returning from the dead at least once, it makes this the weirdest episode of all.
- Unstoppable (Astonishing X-Men #20-24): Everything set in motion during Joss Whedon's run begins to unwind. The X-Men travel to Breakworld- in spite of the destiny that says one of them will destroy the planet. The reason behind S.W.O.R.D.'s alliance with the X-Men becomes a little more clear. The mystery of how smart Lockheed actually is is finally revealed. Kitty and Piotr figure out how much of the feelings that resurfaced since his return were the result of Emma and/or Cassandra Nova messing with their head which results in some of John Cassady's best art. While almost every thing that happens perfectly fits the personalities of these characters, it is hard to love a story that temporarily kills your favorite character, though this one comes pretty close.
- X-Men Unlimited #38: Since the death of Colossus in X-Men (Volume 2) 109, Kitty Pryde had only wanted one thing- to finally let go of grief and pain. This quick little story highlights how time does not heal all wounds. Sometimes the more we want something- particularly the impossible- the more we wind up being hurt. It's a story about love and regret and moving on. It is a nice, quiet character piece that shows just how human the super human can be.
- X-Men Unlimited #22: A sign of good writing is when you can take a character that the readers are generally supposed to like and reveal their faults without making you hate them. That is exactly what Bryan K. Vaughn does in this issue. While the Flag Smasher attacks the United Nations story is nothing new, he wisely makes the story about why Kitty and Marrow don't get along. It's an interesting clash of perspectives. Marrow has some valid points. Even some more conventional looking mutants don't get along with the ones who don't quite appear "normal." Kitty has her points as well when she says that it has more to due with personality than anything else. She gets along quite well with Nightcrawler and Beast, after all. Finally, at the end they manage to beat Flagsmasher. They don't like each other but they at least become slightly more willing to tolerate each other. The lessons of this story is: people shouldn't hate each other over matters of race, religion or politics. They should hate each other for personal reasons.
- Torn (Astonishing X-Men #13-19): Whose side is Emma Frost really on? She's been one of the X-Men's greatest foes. Then after the Phalanx event, she became teacher to Generation X. Then she became an X-Man and Cyclops's girlfriend. Can she really be trusted? Well, when the Hellfire Club returns and puts the team through a series of illusions- some being given their greatest fears and others their fondest desires- the team finds an answer. The question becomes- is it the right one? Is anything what it seems? Also there are some more mysterious attacks by the Breakworlders and the reappearance of Agent Brand of S.W.O.R.D.
- X-Men Unlimited #4: This is the story that took nearly two decades to tell- the origin of Nightcrawler. Here it settles once and for all what exactly his connection to Mystique really is and closes one of the longest dangling plot threads left over from Claremont's run. It had been hanging there since Days of Future Past. It is also a story that explores Rogue's ties to Mystique. It is a story of twists, turns and betrayals. It is a story about family that ultimately brings Rogue and Nightcrawler closer together.
- Dangerous (Astonishing X-Men #7-12): Colossus is back from the dead. Kitty is kind of weirded out. Xavier is acting strangely. Then horrible things start happening in the Danger Room. It turns out that the Shi'ar computer system that was installed years ago has developed sentience. Xavier has known about it for years, but it has finally cracked his firewall. The team's trust of Charles Xavier begins to waiver as he reveals the hypocrisy of fighting for civil rights while keeping a artificial lifeform a slave. Plus, Emma keeps going to secret meetings which, given her history, can not lead to anything pleasant.
- Riot at Xaviers (New X-Men #135-#138): In this story, Grant Morrison examines a big flaw that many people didn't notice before and it is hard not to see after you read it. Every writer before him, even Chris Claremont, had written sort of a binary look at mutant rights. You were either for them or a racist bigot. You were either a follower of Xavier's peaceful dream or Magneto's mutant army. Real life and opinions can be a lot more complicated than that. What it lacks in plot is made up for in designing a culture for the mutant community at large. Morrison's run- this arc in particular- builds a mutant community outside of Westchester County and it is a weird, barely explored territory. The lesson however is- explore at your own risk.
- Gifted (Astonishing X-Men #1-6): As much as change can be good sometimes you want a little back to basics, rough and tumble, snazzy jazzy X-men. Which is exactly what Joss Whedon writes. The reluctant member returns. A potentially world changing event occurs. A new threat arises and a once dead hero returns. Or as the X-Men call it, Thursday. Whedon's approach to it is more about someone asking themselves "Do I really want to think of this as normal?" It is the X-Men of the last 35 years or so distilled and amplified. It manages to mix styles into something new and exiting.
- E is for Extinction (New X-Men #114-116): What makes Grant Morrison's first arc so satisfying is that he is the first writer on the X-Books in a decade to say. "Yeah, Claremont's run was great but I don't have to try to be Claremont to write the X-Men." Much like Claremont, he tried to push boundaries and explore new ideas for the X-Men. He also began to sweep away a lot of the dust and crud that had built on the X-Books since the mid 90s. In one fell swoop, he annihilated the country of Genosha and brought in some much needed fresh air. It became clear why the name of the book had to go from X-Men to New X-Men. Suddenly everything old seemed new again. X-Men, a franchise that had slowly become a creative dead end was back to what had made fans love it in the first place. It was different. Being different is supposed to be the X-Men's raison d'etre.
- X-Men (Volume 2) #30: This is the wedding X-Men fans had been waiting for since 1963. After so many false starts, with Maddie and the kid, Jean constantly being dead or in a love triangle with Scott and either Logan or Warren it is nice to see a Marvel wedding without a super villain for once. In true X-Men style, it does sort of turn into "Night of a Thousand Crossovers" as characters from virtually every X-Book show up. It's not forced. Most of the teams remain friendly so it is natural they'd be invited. The lack of heroes "outside of the family," even those who were as close to The X-Men as The Fantastic Four, is a little weird but understandable with such a large cast. Sadly, Hank McCoy had to settle for being one of the groomsmen and not the something blue.
- X-Men (Volume 2) #110: This issue tricked me. I didn't look too carefully at the cover and since the end of the Dream's End storyline was written by Chris Claremont, I initially thought this issue was as well. It wasn't until I got to the last page that I discovered its true writer: Scott Lobdell. He nailed Kitty's voice so perfectly that he had me fooled. This look back at the relationship between Kitty and Piotr is heartfelt and near perfect, even if the preceding story had its share of flaws. Unlike many comic death/grief stories this one didn't seem unnatural even though Piotr's resurrection was inevitable. It triggered a lot of natural growth on Kitty's part.
- X-Men Unlimited #2: Magneto has always been one of the most complex characters in the Marvel universe. Is he a psychotic or the only sane man in the asylum? Is he a terrorist or just doing what he needs to do for his species to survive? Does he take joy out of what he does or does he regret having to kill? In the wake of the Fatal Attractions crossover this issue attempts to answer those questions. It looks at Magneto's life through many different perspectives. It turns out the answers to those questions seem to differ depending on who you ask. The only answers that matter are from a human soldier who wants to decide if Magneto should live or die and much like Magneto himself, is willing to take matters into his own hands.
Now for all the greatest stuff from some of the tie in titles.
- The Promethium Exchange (Excalibur #37-#39): Fantastic Four vs. The X-Men ended with The X-Men in Doctor Doom's debt for helping save Kitty's life. Now- he comes to collect. He sends the team into limbo to collect an element for an experiment that he claims is for peaceful research that will help downtrodden people everywhere- starting with Latveria. Of course- it's Doctor Doom. He's up to something. To complicate matters- the Avengers West Coast find out he's up to something. If you think that results in an exchange of tea and crumpets, you're wrong. Ultimately though, things turn out as you'd expect- save for Kitty's powers finally being returned to normal.
- X-Force and Cable Annual #95: I've always had a certain strange love of the Impossible Man. I happen to loathe Cable and X-Force from the very bottom of my soul. Watching the Impossible Man annoy the crap out of them- priceless. Well, you'd think. I only paid fifty cents for it and it was so worth it. Here the Impossible Man decides to leave his kids to get trained in the use of their abilities. Things go horribly wrong. Then again- doesn't it always once Impy's involved? It has not nice references to the X-Men and New Mutants other Impossible encounters- all of which were fiascos. This one though takes the cake.
- One of Us (District X #13-14): If Brian Michael Bendis's Powers is "The Wire" with super powers, then District X is a super powered "Law and Order." Both styles to the police procedural have their merits. One looks at how the job grinds down the cops. One is a more traditional good vs. evil with occasional walks down a blurred street. Which is exactly what this story does. A young mutant begins hanging around in Mutantown. The waitress he has a crush on gets attacked. He uses his powers and accidentally kills innocent normal humans. Then to make matters worse- his actions get misconstrued as a hostage situation. Ortega and Bishop show up and then things become truly tragic. Why it took so long for any writer to openly reference the Todd Browning classic "Freaks" in an X-Book is beyond comprehension.
- Rube Goldberg (Exiles Volume 1 #54): Alternate universe stories usually hinge on big sweeping changes to history. What if Peter Parker had been bitten by a radioactive narwhal? What if Abraham Lincoln had decided not to go to the theater? Rarely does the fate of the universe pivot on the fate of a cheese danish. This story examines the idea that even small, seemingly insignificant details can change the world. That maybe the tiny everyday things in life aren't as tiny as we think. It's also a really, really funny story that examines the real motivations of every member of The Exiles. While the story is a stand alone, it is oddly appropriate that it is also a very small piece to a much larger puzzle.
- Tribute to the Second (New Mutants Annual #6): Rahne comes to visit Doug Ramsey's grave in order to make peace with his death before deciding whether or not to pursue a romance with Rictor. They share some rather heated monologues with each- as Doug's ghost is goaded by other ghosts in the graveyard who are trying to help him move on with his death. Eventually- they both find ways to make decisions that they know are the right ones, but are not necessarily ones they wish to make.
- Anything You Can Do (New Mutants Annual #3):Yet again, Impossible Man visits the X-Mansion. Observing the powers of Warlock and his limitless shapeshifting power- he challenges the New Mutant resident goofball to a duel with rules vaguely resembling the Disney version of "The Sword in the Stone." The two shapechangers duke it out to see who is the superior shapeshifter in a story that is just a laugh riot filled with off the wall sight gags and some plan bizarre humor. The winner is, of course, the Warlock because of something he realizes he can do that Impossible Man can't.
- Wolverine: First Class #18: Kitty Pryde and Jamie Madrox are two of my favorite Marvel characters. Peter David is one of my favorite writers. The fact that you put the three together and you'd get a story I'd enjoy is a sort of given. David stirs his usual elements of action, drama and comedy into a nice mix. He plays it a little softer than usual- but hey- the First Class titles are supposed to be a bit more family friendly. Not to say he doesn't leave quite a few jokes that would get a chuckle out of the readers of X-Factor.
- Afterlives (X-Factor Volume 1 #101): I usually don't like it when an author kills off my favorite characters. While I didn't enjoy the fact that Madrox died (for a time anyway) I thought this issue got things absolutely right. Many super heroes have died and had funerals. This is one of the rare ones where the variety or responses from grief to rage come to the surface in a truly realistic and human way. The emotions felt by each of these characters- particularly Guido and Rahne- seemed real. It twists and turns from morbidity and humor in a way that few comic book writers can pull off well, but J.M. DeMatteis is one of them.
- Rogue: Going Rogue (Volume 2. #1-6): This revisit and expansion of the origin of Rogue is an interesting mix of super heroics and good old fashioned Southern Gothic Horror. Rogue has absorbed so many memories over the years she has lost focus. She has trouble sorting out her own past anymore. In an attempt to relearn her own life, she returns to her hometown. She encounters a mystery man that she seems to have known forever. As she uncovers more about her parents and their ties to a hippy sex cult- the mystery man keeps showing up at the strangest places. A weird romance forms as the mystery man turns out to be one of the weirdest mutations the X-Men have ever encountered.
- Girl's School from Heck (Excalibur #32-#34): This is a story I recommend to anyone who says Chris Claremont does not have a sense of humor. It's got everything. A goofy plot reminiscent of every teen cheerleader movie ever made, an oddball event involving an American Football team starting a team in England. It has Kitty Pryde attempting to interact with girls her own age. (Which is funny in and of itself.) It's got the amazing Lockheed. It continues- and I think even ends- a running gag about Megan's obsession with the royal family. Claremont's final storyline on Excalibur is also one of the title's best.
- Who Killed Madrox? (X-Factor Volume 1. #71-75): This arc starts with an appearance by one of the most shocking villains any X-Team has ever had to face and live- a mayonnaise jar. Worst of all- they lose. It continues with a member of the just formed All-New All-Different X-Factor being gunned down with the victim being the prime suspect. The unanswered question is if Madrox kills Madrox is that a murder or a suicide? It features the infamous battle of ten thousand Madri and a brawl with Mr. Sinister and the Nasty Boys. It's the dialogue that really sells the book. It's incredibly funny. Then again it's Peter David so it shouldn't be a surprise.
- The Crosstime Caper (Excalbur Volume 1 #12- 19, #21-24): Aside from being the type of nine parter that makes you think that Chris Claremont can't count, this story is great. It has a group of super heroes hopping across the multiverse and for once not having it be doom and gloom all the time. They visit a Don Quixote world, a world with a female Captain Britain, a wacky Robert Howard style world and even a Speed Racer world. Of course there is a "dark" world but it was nowhere near as depressing as say "Days of Future Past." While there are some issues with fill in artists, it includes some amazing work by Alan Davis. I especially love the cover to issue #12.
- Overtime/Time and a Half (X-Factor Volume 3. #39-50): You know what the X-Books don't do anymore? Single storylines that go on for more than a year that pack just as much character development as action. It starts with Madrox on cloud nine. Siryn is about to give birth to his son. He is seriously considering marrying her. Then it all goes to hell. The Laws of Murphy apply doubly so to mutants. Siryn ends up hating Madrox. Madrox finds himself in a future wasteland where one of his best friends in the whole world is Cyclops. And if Cyclops is of one of his closest friends - what does that tell you about his enemies? This story features some surprising new members to the team as well as the long overdue return of an old one. It's a thrill ride that ends at just the right point only to begin another big build up.
- We Were Only Foolin' (New Mutants #45): Throughout the early part of the series The New Mutants maintained social contact with some high school kids in Westchester County. This story involves the team and Kitty going to a party. There, they meet Larry- a kid who is constantly bullied. There are rumors spread through out the school that someone called the mutant hunters called X-Factor on him. After figuring out they are mutants, he reveals his own secret- he is one too. He and Kitty really hit it off. Then he goes and tells racist mutant jokes. She and the others explain exactly why that isn't funny. The next day they are all shocked to find out their new friend is dead. It wasn't the bullies or X-Factor that killed him. It was a suicide. The story goes out of its way to show the pointlessness of it. Larry's family, along with Kitty, Dani, Rahne and the others struggle to pick up the pieces. Due to things that happened during my own college experience, as brilliant as this story is, I still have trouble reading it.
And now the minis and one shots. Oh and as much as I think it deserves a spot here, I opted not to reprint my thoughts on Fantastic Four vs. The X-Men for a third time. You get re-raves on Mekanix, Magneto Testament and Kitty Pryde and Wolverine. Reprinting four out of fourteeen would feel like I'm phoning this month in. Which is especially bad since I'm inventorying the article months ahead of time, yes. I started writing it on the day before Valentine's Day. I may be many things but a lazy @$$%0)! is not one of them.
- Exaclibur: Mojo Mayhem: Kitty is returning from a trip. While on the train all she wants is a nap. Was does she get instead? An adventure with The X-Babies. They've broken free from Mojoworld. The big green slug wants them back and sends his agent after them. Obviously, Kitty can't let that happen. Thus- she helps them escape. The X-Babies- especially Lil' Havok and Logan- cause a lot of havoc all over the U.K. Eventually the whole team gets involved and then things get kind of silly. There are crazy cameos left and right. Some fun is poked at DC's and Marvel's expense. There is an obligatory swipe at Britain's royal family. Good ol' wacky fun.
- Obnoxio the Clown Vs. The X-Men #1: By now you've probably realize that I always throw one or two incredibly goofy stories that no one in their right mind would put on a top ten best list. Make whatever assumptions about my sanity that you will, but I thought this issue was funny. Professor Xavier thinks Kitty Pryde, a fourteen year old borderline super genius, would want a drunken, washed up, has been birthday clown and former comic book mascot at her birthday party. So he hires him. Unfortunately the villain Eye-Scream- a one shot villain with the mutant power to turn into any flavor of ice cream- crashes the event. He proceeds to beat the crap out of The X-Men. Somehow Obnoxio, with a little help from the Danger Room, manages to beat him in the most improbable ways imaginable. If you can find it in a fifty cent box it is worth it for the main story alone. The rest of the special is inventory material left over from Crazy magazine.
- Kitty Pryde- Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D: This sequel to "Kitty Pryde and Wolverine" returns Kitty to her pre-Warren Ellis/Ben Raab personality. She's back in smart, geeky, sarcastic form and no longer takes being treated like crap. Even for a somewhat lack luster plot- it gets quite a few props for that. The story involves S.H.I.E.L.D. accidentally waking up Ogun the Demon Samurai. Unfortunately- he possesses the hellicarrier computer system. Which means the dragon feces hits the fan. Only Kitty, Wolverine and a S.H.I.E.L.D. intern have a chance of stopping it. Only considering Ogun can now control people and any computer on Earth- good luck fixing that in three issues.
- X-Babies: Civil war has hit the Mojoverse. The rough and tough fighting force of X-Babies who were a parody of cartoons of the 80s and 90s. (Muppet Babies, The Super Friends and Spider-Man and His Amazing Friend in particular) are out of fashion. Mojo notices how well reboots have been doing in other media and makes new X-Babies. These doppelgangers are more like the edutaining cartoons of today like Dora the Explorer. The problem is the originals are still out there. So he sends his minions to hunt them down. Lucky for them while they are on the run, they manage to find help from some unexpected sources. Remember Marvel's Star Comics line? Well- all the titles that weren't licensed books make appearances. Royal Roy, Top Dog, Planet Terry, Wally the Wizard and even a cameo by the one and only Amazing Spider-Ham. If you love crappy 80s Marvel comics- and deep down you know you do- this is a must read.
- Pryde and Wisdom: While I'm not a fan of Warren Ellis in general and his Excalibur in particular, I did like this story. This might be the only story where Kitty and Wisdom really work for me as a couple. Mainly because we get to see Wisdom as something other than a drunken, super powered, has been spy who can't decide between trying to clean up his life or just burying his pain in the bottle. You see some of the things that drove him to it- starting with his family. Imagine any cop on television taking his girlfriend to meet his family and you get the idea. Oh- and Pryde and Wisdom track a serial killer who has ties to Wisdom's past.
- X-Men: Heroes for Hope: If I told you there was a jam comic that harnessed the writing talents of Stan Lee, Chris Claremont, Alan Moore, Stephen King, Louise Simonson, Harlan Ellison and many more, you wouldn't believe me- would you? What if I told you it also featured art by Berni Wrightson, John Byrne, Howard Chaykin and John Romita Jr.? You wouldn't believe that either. Well it happened. The X-Men fight off an entity that is the anthropomorphic embodiment of fear and despair brought to full power by the famine in Africa. The round robin style is a little jarring but the switches eventually hit a nice, if often horrifically surreal, rhythm. When the comic was originally released, all proceeds went to charity and may be part of the reason it has never been reprinted.
- Kitty Pryde: Shadows and Flame #1-5: Is Kitty Pryde one of your favorite X-Men? Does your brain fill with childlike glee when watching an old school rubber suits and model cities style Godzilla movie? If either of these conditions is true then this miniseries is a must read. If you're one of those rare people for whom both statements are true, you probably already own this series. Kitty helps Lockheed reunite with his long lost love. Unfortunately that leads to dragon attacks in Tokyo. In other words- the weekend. There is a subplot involving Kitty helping the National Police Agency but really it's about a girl and her dragon.
- Rahne of Terra: On Earth 616, Rahne Sinclair is found feverish and delusional. She believes she is some kind of medieval princess and she had been transported to a strange and daemonic world. Elsewhere, Rahne Sinclair awakens in a strange medieval world where she finds many of her friends - only they are very different. Not only that, but her long dead love Doug Ramsey is still alive. Eventually the mastermind of the plot is revealed to be a being called Magus- known to some as Magnus (aka Magneto). The only one who can stand against him is Logan. Only it is not a medieval Wolverine but the one from Earth 616. Eventually things get sorted out in such a way that only the two Rahnes and Logan are aware that anything happened at all. Which all things considered is probably for the best.
- X-Women #1: Kitty Pryde is never more of a geek goddess than when she is narrating the story herself or being written by Chris Claremont. This story meets both requirements. Add to the fact that it is drawn by Milos Manara and you have a bonafide winner. This almost went on the best of Claremont list- save for the fact that it is more a showcase. The fact that Manara can take a little extra time to draw clothes on women than the typical emotional tour de force Claremont usually puts together. The story is fun and it looks so incredible that it almost didn't need a story. The X-Women decide to go on a night out. Anyone who has ever read a super hero comic knows how "A night off" or "Heroes go on Vacation" stories always turn out. Things go haywire. This time in a way that involves dirigibles, waterfalls and pirates. Be honest- with so much of the audience being heterosexual and male- the X-Women in beachwear drawn by Milos Manara. Do you really need another reason to buy it? No.
- Nightcrawler (Volume one): Nightcrawler, Lockheed and Kitty are working out in the Danger Room when Nightcrawler teleports. Only he doesn't reappear anywhere. Instead of alerting people, Kitty tries to solve the problem on her own. Kurt's adventures take him through a series of alternate realities. Each one gets more and more absurd. He fights dragons, pirates and demons. Do you remember Kitty's Fairy Tale? That is one of the worlds Nightcrawler winds up on. Witness the weirdest team up of all- Nightcrawler and the entire race of Bamfs. Featuring not one, but two Lockheed the Dragons.
- MekaniX : If you can get past the weird cover art and the title that makes you think Chris Claremont can't spell, what you have is a nice story about a bright young woman who has gone through hell who now wants to live a normal life and the world is simply not cooperating. It's about the normal things that people worry about in college; getting to class on time, getting good grades, whether or not your sexual identity is what you think it is, experimenting with booze, getting attacked by hate groups with killer robots and- oh yeah- almost nuking the entire city of Chicago. It's probably the best Earth 616 story Claremont has written since his initial departure from the X-books in the early 90s. While he can write big sweeping stories like Dark Phoenix or Inferno, I've always found Claremont's best works to be ones that focus on a small handful of characters. In this case, Kitty, Xian and some of their fellow students. His X-books often walk that fine line between hope and angst and this is no exception. It is a Kitty Pryde story by Chris Claremont so I was pretty much bound to like it.
- Madrox #1-5: This is where Peter David's second run on X-Factor really begins. Not with a massive team but a detective agency run by three mutants in a broom closet. Madrox enlists the help of Guido Carosella (aka Strong Guy) and Rahne Sinclair (aka Wolfsbane) to help with his little endeavor. Soon he's tracking down yet another guy who killed Madrox leading him to discover things about his other selves that he never knew. It features all the twists, turns, sex, betrayals and gun play of a good solid noir. It is chocked full of subtle, sedate comedy as well. Even the last page leaves the reader begging for more. Enough that they eventually got it.
- Magneto Testament: This slightly revisionist origin of Magneto portrays the most gruesome look at his childhood ever told. It becomes clear exactly why Max Eisenhardt become Erik Lensherr. More importantly, why Erik Lensherr became Magneto. It is a haunting enough view that you begin to think he might not be wrong. It is also possible that since he knows where that level of hatred can lead from first hand experience, he is even more wrong. There is also no reason why the two ideas are mutually exclusive. There is a clear influence by Art Speigelman's Maus, but the story stands on its own merit. It is well worth the read.
- Kitty Pryde and Wolverine #1-6: This miniseries proves two things most people don't know. The first is that Chris Claremont can tell a story in six issues that doesn't require having read a zillion issues of X-Men. Secondly, that it is possible to write a sequel that is better than the original. This book is often billed as a sequel to the classic Wolverine miniseries by Claremont and Miller. Where that series presents a much different view of Logan than we've seen before- this series examines the essential conflict between Logan the broken samurai and Logan the X-Man. It also gives a lot of time for character growth to Kitty Pryde. Neither character is really quite the same coming out of this miniseries as they were going in. It's a story of the relationship between these two seemingly very different characters and what they can learn from each other. It's odd that Logan seems to benefit from this as much- if not more so- than Kitty does. There is also a lot of demon ninja action for those who are into that stuff.
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