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Welcome to the all new Random Crap. Where I talk about all things GI Joe and Star Wars instead of things that pop out to me while I was on the internet the past month. GI Joe has a new movie coming out this summer called GI Joe Retaliation. I guess this is supposed to be the Empire Strikes Back of the series. The big name draws for this movie are supposed to be Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, and Bruce Willis. Not quite enough for me to go see it. After all, I did not go see the first movie and don't have any intention to see this one either. The GI Joe I grew up with and loved was the GI Joe from the 1980's and 1990's where there was some semblance of realism in the comic. Yes there were two crossovers with Transformers, one limited series that scared the bejesus out of me when I was like 8 years old, and a couple of issues in the last sixteen months or so of the book; but these can be forgiven because they were licenses of the same company and Marvel was subject to the whims of them about what to do with the titles. Since IDW now has the rights to publish the GI Joe comic they have gotten all the old issues from Marvel and given them new life as trades. Marvel only had the first 50 issues out in 5 trades before they stopped publishing them. You might be able to find some of those old ones in half-price trade boxes at a convention if you look. I have been reading over the Classic GI Joe Volume 1 trade and it is amazing the things that go over your head when you are younger and reading these sorts of things and when you look at them with adult eyes they seem very different. Snake Eyes was a complete dick early on before becoming this sensitive soul later on, but he was still the badass commando even in the beginning. I can see why, when I was younger, I thought I was destined for a career in the military. Now I am thankful for common sense kicking in with the United States fighting a war that is not as popular at home since they got their #1 target last year, but I am beginning to think what if. It would not have been like what it was in GI Joe, but things in real life are nothing like they are when filtered through the lens of younger eyes. Have you checked out the prices of the new GI Joe toys recently? I have and it makes the $8.99 price of the Vintage Collection of Star Wars figures look reasonable. The figures are about $10.99 at my local Target store. All they have there are six pegs of Destro anyway and it appears that no one wants him. These are not the size of the 6-8 inch DC Universe Classic figures either, these are for the 4" figures that you could get a few years ago for about $5.99. You are better off paying the extra money and getting the 12-inch action figures that are about twice the price, but are three times the size. I would be getting these action figures except two reasons. First, the cost as mentioned above and second, the whole thing does not feel like the GI Joe I knew and loved as a kid. It looks like they got actors to pose in outfits similar to the ones that the action figures are wearing and photographed them against a green screen. Call me old fashioned, but I liked the old packaging a whole lot better. When you got to the toy store, and went to the action figure aisle you knew where the GI Joe figures were because of that packaging. There just seems to be that certain something missing from today's GI Joe action figure packaging that I think the Vintage Collection for Star Wars is getting right. Speaking of Star Wars; how many of you went to see Episode I in 3D? I did not go see it and if they release the 3D versions on 3D Blu-Ray then I am not going to get them either. For some reason the renaissance of 3D that started over a year ago with James Cameron's Avatar movie, made me think "meh it's not worth the extra $3." plus most of the time 3D does not work for me and when it does, I try to reach out and grab it and/or talk smack to it. That probably means I am reaching into someone else's private space and things could get awkward. That's why with most of the movies being released nowadays in 3D or IMAX 3D I'm not going to see them unless there is a 2D option as well. More often than not, there is no 2D option so I am S.O.L.. I'll eventually get the big boxed set of Blu-Ray Star Wars movies that are out right now, but until then I am going to have to live with the regular DVD's that I have of the movies. Looking at the female leads in the movies there was something there for each generation. For example, the males in my generation had Princess Leia and her metal bikini from Return of the Jedi to fantasize about while the next generation had Padme and her white outfit from Attack of the Clones. Leia was a much stronger female presence on the screen than Padme. That may have been because of the writing of Padme in the new trilogy and her basically having nothing to do while Leia was an active player in the leadership of the Rebellion. Padme seemed just to be the, "oh ya, she's there" player in the Senate. Sure, she was the elected Queen of Naboo (Wait, what? You don't elect Queens. Lucas!), but that was only for the first movie before she became a senator in the next two. Heck, Jar-Jar had a bigger part in the movies than she did. Granted, the Clone Wars cartoon (the one on now, not the one from 6-7 years ago) has her doing more things than she did in the movie, but still that is only once or twice a season. Maybe it is just because I find politics so boring that I write Padme off as a loss in the second trilogy, but she could have played a much bigger role in the movies other than being baby maker to Anakin's kids, and being the catalyst that sends him to the dark side. The toys for Star Wars seem to be on some sort of awkward schedule. They front and back load all the good stuff in the year and then in the middle of the year, there is nothing. Summer is the ideal time to put out things for Star Wars or any toy line in general. Some toy companies may be a bit gun shy because they want to put out their heavy hitting lines based on the latest Summer Blockbusters, but this is the perfect time. Kids are going to get bored with the toys that they got for Christmas and Easter and when the parents go out with their kids to the local Target or Wal-Mart to look for something new all they find is the stuff that is held over from Easter. There might be one or two things that are new, but they are generally stuff that kids don't like and only appeal to adult collectors. So kids have to wait until October and November before the new waves of figures come out and by then they cannot appreciate playing with them because they are up to their ears in weekend homework and standardized testing. What is it with some adults and not wanting to buy their kids the alien action figures from Star Wars? I have overheard several parents say to their kids when the kids tell them they want an alien action figure say "No, I don't think so." Yet they come up to the same parent with a Darth Vader action figure and they say "okay you can have it." Alien patron in the creature cantina, not okay. Alien Pod Racer pilot, not okay. Character that wiped out the 99.99 % of the Jedi and nearly killed his own son; that's perfectly acceptable? I'm not a parent so that logic does not make sense to me, but I'm sure if I ask my sister and her husband when their child gets older and if they are like this about it, then I am sure I'll get a well thought out answer. I don't think they'll be this way with toys, but just in case I like to have that option open. I know there were certain toys that my mom would not let me have when I was younger because they looked so strange to her, and looking back on it I'm glad she kept me in Star Wars toys for as long as possible. If my little niece/nephew, while we are out for their birthday at the local Toys R Us, wants to get an alien action figure from Star Wars then I will by all means let them do so. I will be more than happy to do so because it shows they are open to thinking about other things than just characters that look like them. How did you like this month's New Random Crap? If you liked it then I hope you can keep up; if you didn't then you better get used to it. The edict came straight down from editorial and we the writers have to just go with it. Next month, look for more New Random Crap in the months ahead as well as a con report in June of the Dallas Comic-Con. Which is not in Dallas, but is in fact in Irving.
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