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Hey, just about every gamer has been there, even me. You finally decide to
let your parents know what you actually do with your friends at 4 am. Or
maybe (more likely), Braxus the Barbarian's character sheet fell out of your
backpack and your mom thought it was homework.
Remember that? I sure do.
Sometimes, parents are cool about it. They understand, are interested in
it, or think it helps with your creativity/vocabulary. These are usually
someone else's parents.
If your parents were like that, you wouldn't need to be reading this. Go
spend some quality time with them. If you think they're the type who can't
understand why someone might want to spend a little time in a world where
they didn't have to work eight hours a day plugging numbers (or whatever),
then you may be in a little tight situation.
Fear not, I have (or will, since I'm not up to it yet), come up with a few
ways to bring it across to them, or explain it if you're caught in the best
possible manner (or most amusing to me if I was there watching you). Feel
free to mix and match, remember - you can tell your parents that you
roleplay as many times as you want, they only find out for the first time
once (unless they have a memory like mine, then you won't even have to
bother about it because they'll forget five minutes into their lecture).
Oh, most of these points assume you've been "caught" in the act. It's not a
crime, unless having fun is a crime (or roleplaying is against the law where
you are, either way).
- The "at least I'm not" reasoning.
Tis is by far the most common, and most harmful. When you utter the words
"but I least I don't..." it will immediately confirm their opinion that
roleplaying is a negative thing. Sometimes, though, when parents confront
us with things unexpectedly, words leave our mouth faster than a cat out of
a 400 degree oven (which is to say, faster than most of us think). If they
do, make the best of it. It's always better to use something fanciful as
your point, but within the limits of reality. Don't say "I might roleplay,
but at least I'm not spreading war and famine where ever I go." Say
something like "At least I'm not in jail" (assuming you're not, of course).
My favorite, and the best of the bunch is circulous. Try using "...at least
I'm not roleplaying." This may sound redundant, but it will confuse them if
the delivery is right. Once you've got them where you want them (confused),
a quick subject change questioning what drugs they did in the 60s (or
whatever other decade they lived in) should do the trick.
- The semantics reasoning.
This is by far one of the best. Why isn't it first then? Because I'm
writing this column and I felt like it. If you ask real nice, or I'm
feeling real lazy, I might let you have point 8 all for your very own.
Anyway, you can assume that if your parents don't like roleplaying, then
they either haven't or didn't for long. Of course, they may like doing
things they hate, if that's the case then they're either a masochist or a
lunch lady. If they're the former, then it's simple, just say that you're
doing it to hurt them. If it's the latter, give up, because there's no way
you'll win. If they're neither, and they haven't roleplayed, then you may
very well have a better vocabulary. Put your roleplaying skills to use and
make a personality for yourself* that does real well in the fast talking
area. Then use it. Say something like "Roleplaying? No, we don't really
roleplay, it's actually progressive storytelling**, you know, book writing
stuff." That'll usually win them over. If you think you might be able to,
make a quick manipulation and subterfuge roll for yourself and add a "When
I'm rich, I'll always remember my loving parents who raised me and didn't
keep me from my goals." Depending on your parents, you might not be able to
be so subtle. See point four.
- The "Time better spent" reasoning.
This one is fairly simple. It's also pretty flexible (but not in that
gymnast way). It can even be used as a backup, if one of the other ones
doesn't work. This method may seem like a threat if used either correctly
or incorrectly. Remember, it's never ever wise to threaten your parents,
unless on the off chance that you manage to steal their bullwhips (but make
sure you can USE it first). This being the case, be sure to threaten either
someone else or yourself. A good example of both would be "Oh great. Fine.
Instead of roleplaying, I'll just spend my time sitting around and
plucking each hair out of the back of the cat***." Something to that
effect. Be careful, though. Make sure you know what you're getting into,
some parents will counter this reasoning by assigning free-time chores. If
that happens, see the next point.
- Complaining
Hey, as an underager, you may have few rights by law, but there's one that
answers to a higher authority. Complaining. If they don't get subtlety,
or if they find you out, you may want to try your hand at the wine industry.
This works especially with parents who have a low tolerance for things.
It just takes you saying "Oh, great. There goes the last enjoyable thing in
my life." Then go on and describe every other thing that you find imperfect
in your life until they forget what you're talking about. Some parents have
an extraordinary ability to tune out complaining. Others will launch off on
a "You think YOU have it tough, well, in my day..." tirade. Either way, sit
back, relax, and take the time for figuring how to break it to them next
time.
The second part to complaining is consistence. This pits your stamina
against your parents' willpower/tolerance. Mostly this situation will only
arise if they restrict you after "finding out." Remember, players are
stubborn****, you have to be to deal with GMs. Use this to your advantage.
Continue complaining until they give up and remove the restrictions. I
recommend practicing well ahead of time, to see if you have parents that are
susceptible to these sorts of things.
- The "cut them off at the pass" or sentence completion method.
Instead of explaining, I'll give an example. Oh yeah, any telepathy you
might have picked up from years of being too close to a TV affecting your
brain will really help.
What is this? I found it in your sock***** drawer. You're not into
that rolep...
...playing? I'm glad you mentioned it. I see it as a
rather lost art. My mind is a canvas and I am the expert painter (note:
don't mention how many dots you have in artistic impression that you think
you'd have).
But...a thie...<---interruption
Yes, thees and thous. You wouldn't believe the calling nowadays for
people who can speak in old English.
But...
But might it interfere with my studies, you ask?
Good question, but actually is has no negative effect. My grammar is
extensive and the probabilities involving dice help me with my math. Thank
you for worrying, you're a great mom.
Check and mate.
The subpoint to this is to let them know before they find out on their own.
Let them know that it's just a hobby, fun, creative, and harmless. However,
if you had done that you wouldn't be in this mess to start with, would you?
(Don't answer that, it's a rhetorical question, and I can't hear you anyway,
my CD is way too loud.
- The "alien" reasoning.
This is the last of the "negative" roleplaying "excuses" (as you can see, I
like "quotes"). Why? Because I'm not getting paid by the word, and there
are far to many listed here (the other way around, if you'd like).
This method involves the age old defense of "it was planted on me." This
seems to come naturally with human nature, so we don't have to get into it
too much. Even if it fails, you might get a good laugh from your parents
(then be sure to look out the window and ask them about the van that was
parked out there the whole time).
- The distraction method.
Parents are fickle things. Ok, maybe not, but for the purpose of this
point, we'll assume they are. This method is easy. Take the wind out of
their sails by redirecting the conversation. For example, they have Braxus
the Barbarian's sheet in their hand, while they lecture you on how bad/evil
roleplaying is. Take it the wrong way. Say "Oh, so you don't like the name
Braxus, what would you recommend?" And use other direct questions. Be sure
to reinterpret anything they say to suit your needs. Soon, you'll have
their minds moving in so many different directions, that you can just ask
for the keys and head out.
- The subtle approach.
This is a great method, if you have the time and they don't know yet. Start
to get them into roleplaying a bit. This would have to do something with
their world, get them to do "what would you do if you were this person"
situations. Do some of those board games that aren't full roleplaying
games can be a fun way to draw them in, or even music/movies. Once they're
"in," drop the bomb (not literally, those things are dangerous), and let
them know. If they get after you, say, "Well, you sure seemed to enjoy it
when you roleplayed." This is perhaps the only relatively serious point on
this list. Take note.
- Oh, whoops! Did I promise you number 9? Ok, well, here's nine. I'll
even give you a little more space, I know that it's hard to fit the marker
into the computer lines on your screen.
- The teenager point.
This point is immediately after your really valid point. This one is valid
too. It works for both men and women (hey, by the time you're teenagers,
you're old enough to consider yourself that, if you roleplay, you're mature
enough to). If you're a teenager, then you have a bad rep anyway. Take it
how they expect, and just ignore it. If they lecture you, so what? If they
ban you from it, you don't care (or at least, don't seem to). Either ignore
the rules they give you, or show that you care so little it doesn't matter
if they lift the restriction (please). Do whatever comes naturally. Saying
whatever comes naturally.
Ok, so there's only ten this month. The best disclaimer I have is that this
can truthfully be a problem, sometimes. Openness, honesty, and good
explanations of what it's about can go a long way. If you're mature, it's
hard for your parents not to be. Whew, end of that stuff.
In the words of the great and powerful Pete Abrams "And that's it...I'm
going back to bed."
* - The authors in no way condone or denounce multiple personalities.
Right? Right.
** - Some might consider this "lying." These people probably return the
extra change that a cashier mistakenly gives them, and aren't nearly as
morally flexible as the rest of us.
*** - No, I don't hate cats. This would be more harmful to you than the
cat. You don't have retractable claws and needle-teeth (if you do, then
send me an email with your home
address, I could use a little sideshow money.
**** - I only mention players here for a reason. If you're a GM, you're
already a master of plotting, capable of moving your parents around like
checkers on a go board. If you're a hack - and - slash type of GM (one who
doesn't plot), then I recommend using your GM powers and tossing an umber
hulk or two at them.
***** - Just what the heck are you doing with your sheet in your sock
drawer?
****** Weird. If your parents are so nosy as to search your sock
drawer, I recommend swallowing anything important that you don't want them
to find.
****** - But I don't.
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