"a few words from your lord and master"
by scott crawford

Weddings and funerals. Well, weddings, funerals, and once a month when the Collector Times comes out. Although I've been assured that the CT's regular readership actually does indeed read my column, you never call, you never write, you never visit...it's enough to make the old man cry. If you folks like what I write here, drop me a line, and let me know. Or, better yet, head over to my new web site, and visit me there, too. Lots of Scott Crawford-related hi-jinks to be had. I've put a lot of work into it already, and I'm really just getting started. I'm shooting to make "My Big, Black Cock" a shouting, screaming, unrepentantly dysfunctional family of rabblerousers that stands in stark contrast to the bland, never-ending sea of mushy support groups that typify the Internet.

While I've been doing research for my new site over the past few months, I've noticed that Web sites that function as the afore-mentioned "communities" are the ones I get the most enjoyment out of. Hence, my interest in making my site that sort of thing. Sites with any kind of recurring, dynamic interactivity between webmaster and users, or users and other users really do win the prize over ones that don't, in my book, and they're worth the hard work that's sometimes involved.

That interactivity can be things like:

  • Bulletin boards (something I'm considering adding, but I haven't decided on a specific method of implementation yet...)
  • An associated IRC channel (like my #strangeland on DALNet, or this site's #collectortimes, on EFNet...)
  • Something as simple as encouraging, accepting and using reader submissions on a constant, daily or weekly basis. (I.E. Slashdot, The Stile Project, and even Mullets Galore, which has created an army of camera-toting amateur "mullet hunters"...)

Anything like that seems to make the browsing experience a lot more fun than just "Here's what I'm bitching about this week, here are my links, here's some stuff you can buy...", even if you do update those often. I think all sites want recurring traffic, and it's seeming more and more like the way to get it is to make users feel like they're a part of something cool while they're visiting. An even bigger bonus comes if the site's users get to know the webmaster, or each other through the site, as long as they don't kill each other or anything. =)

A really good example of the "community"-as-Web site is the Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy site. They're working on constructing an online, dynamically updated version of Douglas Adams' legendary Guide, using submissions by the site's regular visitors. (Remind me to start contributing. I've been lazy.) Tons of information in there already, written in a very human, likeable style for the most part. They also have bulletin boards galore to discuss each entry, and usually have some "real-world" gatherings in the works for Guide users, mostly informal, casual evenings out.

That's an ambitious project, though. There seem to be people who do work full-time on the Guide, and it does have Douglas Adams' name, reputation, and money behind it. The question, from there, becomes: "Say you're not Douglas Adams, or someone similar in stature. How do you build such a community, without resorting to sensationalism as your drawing card?" Well, in my case, it's more like "more sensationalism than usual". I'd like to build a thriving, regular, daily readership who interact with one another, without having to go as far as to show them German Scheisse videos every day to get them to show up. That's my current challenge, and it is a daunting one.

There's also some technical and logistical issues involved here, as well. It's tricky sometimes to implement new features and sections on my site, while maintaining some semblance of focus. I, of course, want to do everything at once, so I've found myself in need of being reined in from time to time. In addition, no one likes a site that's so choked with all kinds of kooky frou-frou Java or Macromedia crap that it's beyond functionality, or a site that takes forever to load (something that had gone away for a while, until developers began coding exclusively for folks with cable modems. :P). So far, I haven't had a lot of trouble there, but I'd like to prevent it from EVER happening.

I'd love to hear from CT readers who've tried to set up an "online community", or "portal", or even better, succeeded at it. Doesn't matter if it's a personal site, or something they did professionally. What worked? What didn't? Let me know.

In other news:

  • Bertelsmann/Napster. OK, I was off by one company. I guess the head of BMG read my article on this, and decided he didn't want to look like a whiny bitch, or let that jive turkey Steve Case take what was rightfully his. Soooo, he took the bull by the cajones, and gave Mr. Fanning a call, scooping AOL and all the other haters in the process. OF COURSE he reads my column! Duh!

  • "The Yankees win! THEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE YANKEES WIN!!!!!" Again. Against the Mets. And, I got into Game 2 (snuck in at the top of the 9th, but I WAS THERE!!!), no thanks to Sarah Jessica "I've been a fan since 1996" Parker! Gah, that woman!!!! What Ferris sees in her...anyways, it'll be interesting to see who takes the field in pinstripes in 2001. I'll be relegated to listening to Kay and Sterling on RealAudio, occasional national TV broadcasts of games, and (*ugh*) the Disastros in person, by then. I will be returning to the NYC area for the Annual Tampa Bay Game, though, oh yes...

  • Quake III Arena for Dreamcast: BOO-YAH!!!!

  • Any of you remember that review I did on Earth Eighteen's "Butterfly" album? Well, apparently, Jon Dupree, their lead singer/songwriter found it, and he let me know that it made him happy. (See, HE wrote to me! What hell is wrong with the rest of you?!?!?!) He's working on a web site about Earth Eighteen, and his present/future projects. It's under construction right now, but keep checking back, because it should be very cool once it's live.

  • Finally this month, congratulations (yes, congratulations) are in order for pro wrestling legend Bret "The Hitman" Hart, who announced his retirement this week. Bret, on the off-chance you end up reading this, thanks for your hard work. You entertained a lot of people, and we appreciate it. Always remember the positives in your career, and enjoy your post-wrestling endeavors, both personal and professional, to the fullest.

Oogiewawa!
-s Scott Crawford can STILL be reached at sdcrawford@earthlink.net, or, if you're feeling especially daring and your mommy and daddy say it's ok, go to http://home.earthlink.net/~sdcrawford/ and visit his home on the web.


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