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This months column is actually going to be almost useful (dont
worry, its a fluke). I feel I owe it to you all for taking the last
month or so off. *
Anyway, this ones about something that has happened to me
quite a few times as both a GM and a player, and I really
havent figured out which is more annoying. That is the
unstoppable force known as player infighting. I have seen it
wreck both exquisitely designed storylines and great roleplaying
groups. I say it is unstoppable, but this isnt quite true. Once it
has passed a certain stage, it is, but if you can catch it early
enough (like a tumor), everything will be ok.
So, for your reference, Ive come up with a list for you. It is a
warning, and a preventative measure. Remember, theres no
cure for bad roleplaying, theres only a vaccine (and most
people dont keep a sock full of pennies very handy).
Ten signs that your roleplaying group wont last as long as -
well - uhhh - something that really lasts a short time. Like my
attention span. What were we talking about again?
- All of the Jedi-Knights (or Paladins) in the group played by
sullen teenagers stop acting like Jedi-Knights (or Paladins) and
start acting like sullen teenagers.
- Your GM wont ever LARP, except the part where the
characters get beaten mercilessly.
- Rolling the die means pegging the person opposite you.
- Bobtharg, the orcish NPC says "Waaaaaazzzzzzzup??!!?"
Instead of "Hail, adventurers."
- The two characters that are married to each other get
divorced - followed by their players.
- You try to get the players together for your game, and get
replies like "Sorry, I have to wash my hair tonight," and "Not
now, GM (or my lord, if you have them trained properly), I
have a headache," and "Good Gods, man! Im not a machine!"
- Your GM starts giving NPCs names like Bobtharg.
- Your players find out your next adventure takes place in Rifts
Africa - and then read the book and find out just how powerful
those Four Horsemen are. (Feel free to replace that with, say, a
handful of Elder Demons in AD&D).
- Your players interrupt your special session where you explain
the secrets of the Universe that you had long held out on
revealing - and they interrupt you to talk about that cool part of
their Calculus exam.
And in the traditional way of such lists, the number one reason
you know your roleplaying group will soon be as relevant as a
50s toaster to the Borg:
- Your players bring their character sheets, but take pen-knives
instead of pen-cils.
* Hah! I had you fooled. You thought it would be useful.
Luckily, I said nothing of the sort. Nope, not at all. No proof
whatsoever.
** Speaking of which, there will be an addition to the gaming
section next month. I will start doing twice the work (this way I
can put off twice as many things until the last minute), and will be
reviewing an RPG website each month.
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