Random Thoughts by Chris Reid

It’s funny. It’s been about three years since I’ve Game Mastered anything for a group of people, and I just started back up again last night. Tomorrow is the three year anniversary of Collector Times. In honor of this rather startling coincidence (or at least because I couldn’t think of anything else to put up for my opening paragraph), I will share with you this column based on one of the issues that’s plagued me ever since I began GMing. That is, group tying.

While it may sound like something kinky and fun to do at parties, I’m really talking about the basics of a gaming group. You know, something that will keep the varying, diverse, and all- important (at least from their players’ perspectives) characters working together, thus keeping you (the GM) from getting a really bad headache or dealing with people whine about boredom as you jump from one group to the other.

I am definitely guilty of being a laid-back GM. I allow my players to create just about anything within reason (no Titan Cosmo-knight Tattoo-men, please) and try to work it together into something fairly coherent - or at least funny. Hey, in the words of Stephen King, "If all else fails, go for the gross out." That has absolutely nothing to do with what I’m talking about, but Stephen King said it, so it must be important.

Player characters seem to always want to go into opposite directions. It can be quite straining to come up with new and creative ways to keep them together. I say, why bother? All of the entertainment industry, whether it be music or movies or comedy just repackages age-old stuff. If it works, it makes money. If it does, keep milking it until it doesn’t. Why should we be any different? In any case, if you’ve read my previous column on this subject, you’ll have a good idea it’s a conspiracy (the pain that the PCs want to cause you). Some GMs (optimists, the lot of them) claim that it’s a coincidence. Well, with many years of parental funded experimentation, I have narrowed it down. It either is a conspiracy or not.

So, with the hope of being as useless as I have been for you in these past three years (and while we’re at it, here’s hope for many more of the same), I give you . . .

Ways to Tie your Characters Together (figuratively, please) by taking inspiration from Popular Media

But wait! You thought this would be a list. Well, you’re wrong. I’m too lazy to make a list, so this will be stream of consciousness. Besides, change is good. I will prove this point to you. Each of you send me some change, and it will be good.

**

The easiest way to bring the characters would be to say "You all know each other, and have been working together in a group." The amusing part of this method is to watch as the characters flounder because their players don’t know things about each other that the PCs should. Unfortunately the player characters don’t stick together very well. This, along with player whining (like, "Where’s my motivation?") makes it really more trouble than it’s worth. However, Marvel has done it quite well***, as you can tell by comics such as X-Men. It really is much easier, though if you can switch off GMs when you feel like doing something else, and can have multiple GMs for the mandatory splinter groups.
That being said, here’s the list (fooled ya!):

  • Crouching Fighter, Hidden Thief. This one works best with 4 PCs. In it, two groups of two of the PCs start off in love with each other (for best results, choose randomly). After a bit of conflict involving sweeping vistas and unbelievable fight scenes, they eventually come together based on the fact that the bad guy (woman) is incredibly whiney and annoying. To make it even more fun, kill off one of each couple in a meaningful way, and make sure that at least one of the two that dies does so mysteriously. After that, have the two who died make up two new characters, and start over.
  • Similar to the first option mentioned, try having most of the characters in a group already. Pick out the ones that are the most similar, or at least like wearing black and looking mysterious. Then, the one that doesn’t fit in, secretly tell his player that he’ll be the most important character ever if he joins them, and kill off all the characters of any players that whine about it (except for the love interest, of course). Then he will join them too, and they can all wear black and frolic merrily through the street of whatever computer program they’re in. Maybe not in that order.
  • Make all of the characters look like John Malkovich.
  • Make two of the characters have some sort of service they can provide the other characters. And the other characters need that service. Then the two that can provide it, who were normally considered scoundrels and dregs of the Earth (or Tatooine, or wherever) suddenly see their good side and decide to help. Or suddenly see the riches in it and decide not too. It helps if one person from one group gets a romantic involvement (or at least sexual tension) going on with one of the other.
  • Make all five characters siamese quintuplets (this one will work the best, trust me).
  • Have a really powerful NPC that starts a school for people that fit the basic characteristics of all the characters (you know, they can breathe, they have players, something like that). Then, make all of the characters join, regardless of how old they are or what their level of education is. Give them some common bad guys, and minor romantic involvement an . . . err . . . already mentioned this one. Whoops.
  • Toss them all into a colorful bus, give them Scooby Snacks ® and let them solve mysteries.
  • Makeat least one of them from some other world with no way of getting back. Then make all of the rest of the people in the area of the world they live in (other than the important ones) totally incompatible with the players, thus causing them to bond in their weirdness. Give them a shared love of donuts and the ability to kill vampires with sticky rice. Wait a second . . . this might work . . .

Of course, there are other ways of doing this, and doing it well. There is the iron fist of GMing. I learned this trick from a GM that I played under back in the early 90s. It was a Star Wars campaign and the main NPC was someone who was mostly all- powerful (insane Jedi Knight, very high level) and was the employer of the player characters. If you needed to start a new character (player death was high), then your character worked for him and obeyed him. If he didn’t, then he’d die and you’d make up a new character. While this is fun (for the GM), you tend to have your players go through a lot more paper and erasers that way, and we all want to save the eraser trees, right?

Remember, being lazy is better than working hard. Because otherwise, it’s hard work. I’m gonna go get some donuts and sticky rice.

This article was brought to you in part by Coalition of Editors with Bullwhips and Texas Attitude Adjusters.

** Author’s note: For me.

*** Author’s note: Comic book writing is a lot like GMing. Only, you control all of the characters, so they don’t give you any grief, you get paid usually quite a bit more, and people ask for your autograph. If you work for a large comics company (no names, of course), Player (they call them Readers in comic lingo) satisfaction doesn’t matter. When people get annoyed enough with how you’re ruining their series, you just get put on another successful story to ruin that. Oh, yeah, and you’re usually only expected to put out once a month, if that. Where do I sign up?


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Text Copyright © 2001 Chris Reid

E-mail Chris at: Tembuki@aol.com