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Well, it finally happened. In my quest to find something to review, I was
both unsuccessful and fed up enough to write a very weird little rant. So,
I didn't turn in a review, but I wrote something, so maybe I avoided
disaster! YIPPY!
I am hoping that all of you aspiring artists, and maybe some of you
professional comic writers will read this and learn from it . . . Yes, maybe
more comics will feature realistically proportioned woman! Or, maybe
enough people will laugh and this won't be a waste.
To make things simple, I will make each point seperately, and then
elaborate on them.
Point #1: Breasts are not the size and shape of medium cantelopes. I lose
count of how many women I've seen drawn this way... Look around you,
guys (though be subtle, you don't want to get slapped!). Breasts are not
perfect spheres. They're more cone shaped, and not in the pointy
Madonna bra way. They don't even make bras that force them into that
shape (or if they do, I'm blissfully ignorant of such.)
Point #2: Breasts are not pointy. This is a problem I have mostly noticed
in my old Marvel comics, in which some women are drawn so that each
breast is a seperate cone, I guess their costumes have little pockets to slip
'em in to accentuate this fact. Another look-around-you situation...
Shirts, especially tight ones, stretch across, they don't dip down
between. And if breasts were that pointy, it'd hurt to be hugged.
Subpoint, from Tomb Raider, the game, not the movie: Breasts should
not form a wedge. Lara Croft scares me.
Point #3: Breasts are made of flesh. They are heavy. Cantelope-sized
breasts will not be perky when in skimpy shirts with no bra underneath.
They will sag. Since this is terribly unappealing, I'm not surprised you
ignore the law of gravity... Heck, I think I can do without seeing saggy-
boobed superheroines lounging around in crop tops after an intense
super battle. Forget I made this point.
Point #4: Most teenagers have smaller breasts than grown women, as
they are still growing. Stop drawing 14 year old girls endowed with
cantelopes, please.
Point #5: The nipple issue. I guess there might be some rule against
having nipples, as all these comic women have huge, but strangely
smooth breasts. The very few comics I have seen where nipples were
showing through the clothing, they were way off position (of course,
this artist has a problem with proportion anyway, imho). Of course, I read
clean comics, I hope artists who draw topless scenes do better.
I hope you've learned something from this simple tutorial, other than the
fact that I have way too much time on my hands and should probably
stick with reviewing comics. As a final note, please don't take this rant as
a case of boob-envy and start forwarding me "Enlarge your breasts"
spam. I get enough already.
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