This Just In
By Jon Morrell

This month I'm centering my article around Asian b-movies. Why? Just because I'm cool like that... so all you Takashi fans, fasten your safety belts. rip off your arms, and strap on your bazooka's because this is what you're in for: 1. A review of Battle Royale, a crazy japanese satire about a high school class forced by the government to battle it out on a deserted island, BATTLE ROYALE! 2: Another hard to find Japanese action flick by the genius behind Audition, Takashi Miike's Dead Or Alive. 3. And last but not least, also by Takashi Miike (pronounced Me-kay), Audition, a morbid tale of a man who is going through a midlife crisis and pays for it with his life. American Beauty's got nothing on this one.

BATTLE ROYALE was brought to my attention at the Fantasia Film Festival when an acquaintance of mine asked me to ask the guy in charge of booking movies why they hadn't gotten Battle Royale. It seems this little gem had been raising quite an uproar in Japan for having lots of gore in it. I asked and he explained that by the time it had come out, they had already booked too many movies.

The movie revolves around a grade nine high school class. Just an average class, with boys and girls, bullies, athletes and lovers that are chosen by the government to be placed on a deserted island against their will with necklaces wired with explosives placed on their necks. As they awake, the majority are scared/confused and want an explanation, who better then their grade 7 teacher? Why not the grade 9 teacher, you ask? Just because they decided to kill him. So he explains to them that they have been chosen by the government to play this game and that they should all feel very lucky. So here are the rules, the game lasts 3 days. After three days, if there is more then 1 survivor, they all die. They are all given a big green bag with food, clothes and a weapon. The weapons are chosen at random and vary from forks, pot lids, guns, crossbows, paper fans, etc.. Only 1 survivor may leave the island alive, and only once all his/her classmates have been murdered. They are then released into the compound/island and have danger zones assigned to them every few hours where the ones who want trouble head to and the ones who want to try to live the longest run away from. There's a basic premise for ya!

This movie's got it all.. blood, guts, love, suicide, crazy guy with a machine gun.. all the stuff a film’s gotta have these days! I popped the tape in my VCR expecting to enjoy my next 2 hours. What I didn't know is that I'd be telling people about this movie for days to come and even after that! Holy Crap! The movie only takes 15 minutes to get started, and it's not hard to understand, either. The subtitles were done nicely but are sometimes blanked out because the copy I have is a bootleg copy from the laser disc that I got off ebay! Kudos ebay! As far as acting skills, I can't really tell.. just because they're speaking another language. A line I read in another review for this film that caught my eye and might catch all you b-movie fans out there is/was, "Lord of the Flies Meets Riki-oh(gory "kung fu" film") in this high paced thriller".. I am a big fan of Riki-oh and have always liked the premise of Lord of the Flies, put them together and you get Battle Royale! (Look for it in upcoming film festivals or buy a copy off ebay!)

DEAD OR ALIVE, a simplistic Yakuza based Japanese action film? Of course not! This is Takashi Miike we’re talking about, this movie is a classic! Holy boy chits! The movie follows two characters, Ryuichi - a tall, big, mean, badass mobster dude working for the Yakuza. Detective Jojima - The good cop who's out to get the bad guys no matter what. The story starts with the usual gang fights, Yakuza causes ruckus, another gang causes ruckus. Takashi has a way to go into the weird, even if it’s not necessary, where one of the scenes shows two mobsters forcing a member of the opposite gang to pose in homosexual nude positions while they take pictures and giggle, in come Mr. Detective to save the day, he kicks some ass and leaves. This premise pretty much repeats it’s self over and over until halfway through the film, throw in some questioning, family stories (the gangster has a family - the cop has a family.). Old man Yakuza (not his name, but that’s what I call him cuz he's the leader of the Yakuza) gets a prostitute and forces her to drown in a pool of her own... excrement, Goodfellas hasn't even touched this one. But the thing that truly highlights this movie is the ending! Oh my god! No ending in a movie has surprised me as much as this one! The ending to this film is just so out of place and so hilarious while at the same time being totally entertaining, I wish I could share it with you, but I wouldn't want to ruin the surprise.

AUDITION was absolutely one of the most screwed up films I've ever seen in my life! Honestly! Miike is just a crazy fellow and this movie proves it. This one is the easiest to find of his movies or at least, easiest to see, since it's actually had a run in repertoire theaters around America and is actually out for purchase in the UK, so some of you might have seen it. The story follows this middle aged man whose wife dies of some terminal disease (they never specify) in front of him and their son. Eight years later they show that he's doing fairly well for himself and his son is doing well, also. The son mentions to his Father Shigeharu that he should find a girl before he gets too old for anyone to fall for him. This surprises Pops because one of the main reasons he didn't want to re-marry is the fear of upsetting his son. He goes to see his friend who's a big movie producer and tells him he wants to find someone. His friend sets up an audition for a TV show, asking for a girl in their 20-30s. He gets all their resumes and all that and selects 30 that he might like, but right away he picks one specifically and sticks to that one. He asks her out on a couple of dates and breaks it to her that she didn't get the part, they fall in love, and then the audience is tricked into believing that this is just a normal romantic little film. One night, while out of town in a hotel, Shigeharu and Asami (that’s the girl) are talking and he admits to her about the whole audition. It doesn't seem to bother her though, She asks him to get in bed with her... this is when the movie gets weird. Shigeharu is knocked out and when he wakes up the girl is gone!! So he goes around trying to find hints as of where she went, from her old ballet school to the bar she used to work at, winding down to the craziest conclusion back at his house. Find this movie, you must!! Any horror fan will love this film. Takashi Miike is a badass.

I'd be glad to talk about any of the films with peeps who are interested, so go ahead and email me! I don't know what’s in store for next month, but hopefully it'll be good! I have 5 movies to watch tonight alone, so maybe I'll chose one of those. Till next week, this is the friendly neighborhood lunatic saying, "Inward singing is the most powerful tool in singing since yodeling!". Happy Birthday to whoever's birthday it is.

Nny


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