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First off, I would like to announce the winner of last month's comic. It was Mathew Bredfeldt, who wins something I haven't drawn yet! Don't you feel bad for not entering? You should. No contest for you this month! ***
You know it has happened to you. You're in a game, and it's just not working out for you. You don't want to just leave, that doesn't seem like it would make things right. You don't want to continue playing. You want to go down, in a blaze of discourtesy, being as disruptive as you possibly can.
You've probably played for me in the past.
In any case, this is the topic in the latest of the ever-popular
"How To" series here on Random Thoughts:
"How To Get Kicked Out of Your Game." Or
"How to Tell I Still Don't Know Where to put Caps in Quotes."
(O Great List Column, How We've Missed You!)
- As the GM, assign a percent chance to perform bodily functions (like breathing) and make the players roll for their characters every time they want to perform one of these.
- Finish all your sentences with "Because the GM sucks." (Note, this works especially well if you're the GM)
- When calling out your roll, be sure to add the number of sides on the die you rolled to whatever you total is (a 4 on a d6 would be 10).
- As the GM, say "The Cat is the Invincible Beast of Death . . . whoever's miniature she knocks over, dies."
- As the GM, make the characters fail at everything, even if they roll perfectly. If the players argue, say "Oh yeah? Roll again!" until they fail.
- Make all the appropriate rolls for an action you want to take - when you're not roleplaying. *
- Forget the names of the other characters, and refer to each one by a random, different name.
- Play a Gungan in a Star Wars game (or a Rifts game, for that matter).
- Whenever a character of yours dies, launch into the famed Hamlet soliloquy, holding your character sheet in place of a skull, and replacing Yorrick with your character's name.
- Try playing at Starbucks, but only buy one cup of coffee. **
* - Nods to Futurama
** - Well, at least a good way to get kicked out of the store!
*** - Mr. Bredfeldt rocks, respectfully. Honourable mention goes to Timothy Till (a rather awesome guy himself), and Nancy Higginson . . . someone who entered my contest, but actually doesn't write for CT!
**** - Dis-honourable mention goes to the entrant Zolgar the Insane. Palladium is not Dungeons and Dragons. That hurts my feelings. Please stop.
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