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Greetings, fellow seekers, and welcome to another edition of "Confessions of a Newbie." So far, Ive discussed a number of different aspects of game play that Ive experienced in my further involvement into gaming. This month, Im going to veer off into another tangent altogether and delve into something different.
Or, as Rocket J. Squirrel would say, "Now heres something we hope youll REALLY like!" Well return to game play discussions next month, unless, of course, I get distracted into writing about something else altogether, in which case well discuss whatever that might end up being.
This month, Id like to expound on that grand place we call "the Game Store". For the new player, the Game Store can be a somewhat overwhelming place, and especially for those with various sensitivities. While for most of us, our local Game Store is a fun place to hang out and spend money, for others, its nearly as uncomfortable as walking into the local "Adult Emporium". Before you raise your eyebrows and go, "Huh?" allow me to explain.
Here in the United States especially, we have a grand melting pot of cultures, beliefs, and lifestyles. Religiously, Christianity (under various styles and denominations) is the largest religious group within the U.S., but with our extensive history of immigration and religious tolerance (at least on paper) we also have pretty much every other religion on the face of the Earth represented here to some degree. To more than a few of those religions, the supernatural concepts of good entities and evil entities plays a significant role. Bear with me; this isnt going to be a religious discussion so much as an observation of group sensitivities. To some people, any portrayal of the evil entities constitutes a horrible thing.
This may sound silly to you, but weve encountered it personally. A few years back, we hosted a small gathering in our home for some members of our Congregation. In our living room we had a computer that was used very heavily by our kids, and since both my daughter and I like dragons, the computer had dragon "wallpaper" on the desktop. One lady from the Congregation thought the dragon wallpaper was evil, and could not understand how we could tolerate such a thing in our home. I guess she had never read Psalm 148:7 which says, "Praise the L_rd from the Earth, ye dragons and all deeps". Aside from that, its merely a drawing of a creature that, if it ever existed, has been so lost in the various mythologies surrounding them as to be rendered completely fictitious in our modern understanding of the word.
But this is something that the sensitive must understand before they undertake that first quest into the Game Store. Not only will there be dragons prominently displayed as part of the merchandise and likely as part of the décor, there will also be (GASP!) demonic creatures. Again, the fantasy portrayal of such creatures is going to be a far cry from the reality of such beings (if you believe they really exist. Again the point here is not to push a particular theological system), and to my knowledge, the Game Store is not in the business of recruiting worshippers into some dark, neo-Satanic cult. But, as the late C. S. Lewis wrote, one of the two mistakes people make regarding demons is that some will see them behind every rock and bush. Such people will believe they "feel" them in the Game Store because there are pictures or figures of demon monsters relating to the games. If you are such a person, my advice is to not visit your local Game Store. Even if you dont feel the presence of demons in the very air about you, youre likely going to hyperventilate when you spot the "Campus Crusade for Cthulu" bumper stickers that are available in many stores.
Now that weve gotten past the sensitivity issues, and presented the appropriate sacrifice to the guardian demon so that we may enter (just kidding on that. Everyone knows that demons dont take sacrifices anymore. Visa is more widely accepted and less messy), we find ourselves surrounded by the array of merchandise available to us gamers. The new visitor will often be overwhelmed simply by the assortment of dice available. Serious gamers can spend more money on a set of dice than many of us paid for our first cars, and they may not even roll those dice as often as we rolled that car. Dice are merely the beginning, though. The variety of games and styles available once we get in the door is staggering, and if you go in without an idea of what youre looking for, you may be there for a long while. There are serious games, such as Dungeons and Dragons, Warhammer, and the like. There are less serious games, such as BESM ("Big Eyes, Small Mouth" a game set in an Anime realm), "The Works" based on the "Girl Genius" comic books, and on to the absolutely silly such as "Dork Tower" and others. Youve got board games, card games, role playing games, dice games, collectible card and figure games, fantasy games, history games, science fiction games. Youve got word games, number games, Olympic games (I just threw that in to see if you were paying attention), games of chance, kids games, adult games, and others too numerous to mention. I suppose what Im saying here is, if you have problems with decisions, the Game Store can be your undoing if you dont already know what you want. For the aspiring gamer, the world is your oyster once you enter the Game Store. Of course, if youre Jewish that means the world is not Kosher, but I digress. Find your game, plop down your Visa, and the demon behind the counter will happily allow you to leave with your selection (just kidding again. Everyone knows demons are never happy).
The other thing a new player will find at their local Game Store is usually a bulletin board where other players post their names and numbers, seeking those interested in the same games they are. If you read between the lines on some of these, what they say is, "Im tired of getting whupped by my little sister, so Im hoping to find such a newbie that even I can win a game!" Others say, "My older brother is such a lamer, Im hoping to find someone who can actually challenge me to an interesting game!" Of course, that isnt what the ads say, but with a little intuitive deciphering, thats what some of them mean.
Some stores even offer a game room and regular tournaments of various games right on the store premises. This way, when your little sister whups you once again, you can run right out into the store and see about buying a special add on that might give you a snowballs chance in hell of beating her once. It also gives you the opportunity to threaten your dice that, if they give you just ONE MORE BAD ROLL, youll replace them with that sexy set of turquoise colored dice with the guaranteed balance. I doubt that will work, as the dice still laugh whenever they turn up lousy numbers and you get killed yet again, but at least you can blow off some steam with the loud threat.
In these gaming rooms, you can also meet other players, some of whom arent dying regularly to their little sisters characters. Its a good place to find answers to questions about rules and tactics, and to learn the best way to avoid the pitfalls of early mistakes, such as playing your little sister too much. A piece of advice, though, is to watch out for those who keep all their rules in their heads. Every game seems to have its share of lamers who alter the rules during the game to suit them. These are not the best people to learn game play from, unless, of course, you just happen to like losing every time, no matter how superior your character might be.
Yes, your local Game Store is a wondrous place of variety and entertainment. Its a place where you can find the game of your dreams and learn to play it with others of similar dreams. And, when youve lost for the 75th consecutive time, its also a place where you can buy a deck of good old fashioned playing cards, and go home for a quiet game of solitaire. Okay, youll probably lose at solitaire, too, but at least your little sister wont be doing an "in your face" victory dance whenever you do.
See you next month, and watch out for that demon behind that bush!!!
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