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Once again, it is time for your regular monthly
installment of Random Thoughts.
This month was a pretty busy one for me, what with
writing three columns and all. Be sure to check out
my review of Dorkboy. Or not, but at least go to
www.dorkboycomics.com when youre done reading this.
It certainly deserves your attention.
Many of you have been writing me, asking me to write
some more lists. Actually, you havent written me at
all recently, so Im going to write a list because I
feel like it. I was out of ideas until my wifes cat
ever-so-helpfully wandered over to assist me. So,
without further ado:
"Top Ten Reasons You Dont Want Your Cat GMing for
You"
- Hell spend all day napping instead of planning,
and then bite you if you complain that the story is
lacking (Hmm . . . Ive known some human GMs like this).
- Its hard to read his expressions, and hes a
master at batting dice around for no apparent reason,
just to keep you off guard. In fact, youre like a
mouse to his cat.
- Hell stop the game once he gets hungry, and drag
his plate and glass around until you fill them.
- Every time you get to someplace interesting, hell
stop for a catnap.
- You never actually do anything in the game, just
lie around a lot, and occasionally chase things that
move by (but only if they move fast enough, and in a
vaguely repetitive motion).
- Hell make you collect all of his dice out from
under the fridge before you play.
- GMs are dangerous enough without having natural
weapons.
- He doesnt realize that you are also sentient
beings. You exist only to give him entertainment (oh
wait, thats how it normally is for GMs).
- Youd have to start new characters every time,
because all of the sheets would be chewed up beyond
recognition.
And the number 1 reason that you dont want your cat
GMing for you . . .
- He already controls every aspect of your life.
Roleplaying is supposed to be fantasy, right?
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