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Dec. 2002
Before I begin this months column, Id like to take a moment and
mention a very funny comic strip I was introduced to this past month.
John Kovalics "Dork Tower" is RPG and collector-based humor, and is
some of the best laughs Ive gotten in a long time. Im betting "Dork
Tower" has been mentioned here on CT before, but I believe it bears
mentioning again. Its funny stuff, and the compilations of past comic
book issues are worth picking up and reading. You can also find a
several times a week "Dork Tower" strip on line, but not all the past
archives are currently available. Besides, its just so cool to be able to
hold a print edition in your hands, if for no other reason than print books
are so much easier to shove under someones nose while saying, "READ
THIS!!!". If youre in need of some laughs, check out "Dork Tower".
This month, Id like to discuss one possible consequence of gaming
that I havent mentioned before, to my knowledge. Before I get to that,
lets review a little bit on the subject of gaming.
Leisure activities are supposed to be fun. Thats why we do them,
for the most part, though we may engage in athletic activities in our
leisure time to promote better health, even though the athletic activity
may not always be regarded as "fun". Other than that, hobbies, games,
etc. are fun things we do because we enjoy doing them, and that
enjoyment helps us deal with the other aspects of life that we dont
enjoy so much. When the leisure activity is no longer fun, its time to
move on to something else.
Ive mentioned before the on-line RPG that my family and I play
(some will argue about the actual level of "role playing" in this game, but
since that is what it is labeled as, thats what Ill call it for this
column). I began playing it nearly 2 and a half years ago, during a rather stressful
period in our lives, and it provided a much needed "escape" from the
realities we were facing. The game, however, is not static. Not only is it
"on-line", it is also administered by the company that publishes the
software, and we play through their servers. From time to time, they
publish updates and changes to the game, and even if you havent
bought any new software from them, since youre playing through their
server, you get the effects of the changes nonetheless.
Lately, these "updates" have been steadily bleeding away the
enjoyment of the game for all of us. Many of the things that we liked
about the game when we first started playing have been taken away. In
many ways, logging into the game began to feel more like a chore that
needed to be done, rather than something we wanted to do for the fun of
it. This has led most of my family to the decision to cut our ties to this
game, and move on to other things.
Now we get to the consequence. When I first started playing the
game, I created a character named "Plei". Plei started out with the idea of
being a bardic tamer, but over time, he became instead an accomplished
swordsman and melee fighter. When we first started playing, the
characters you made didnt start out "topped off", but rather started out
weak and unskilled. Over time, you gained in skills and "stats", and
often, the character would develop in a different direction than what was
first planned. In an odd sort of way, the character takes on a certain life
of its own, in addition to being an extension of your self. In an even
odder sort of way, its easy to get "attached to" your characters. It
makes it difficult for many to think of canceling the subscription to the
game and deleting the characters.
Sure, we know intellectually that the character exists as nothing
more than data files in a computer. Its represented as an animated picture
composed of pixels on a computer screen. It has neither awareness of its
own, nor feelings, nor emotional ties to the real world we live in. It is a
fictional fantasy character, and nothing more.
Or is it? It is hard for me sometimes to think of Plei as nothing
more than pixels. Plei is an alter-ego who emerged during a time when
"escapism" was a welcome pastime. He grew strong and skilled, and
performed great exploits in the game. Terrible monsters fell to his sword,
and even death itself was not too much to overcome. When some of the
hopelessness of real life pressed in, Plei existed in a world where very
little was hopeless, and through him, I could transfer some of my
frustrations to situations that I could control. Few problems were so
great that they could not be handled with a fast katana, a sturdy shield,
and the skilled application of bandages. Even the dead could be
resurrected if you were good enough with the bandages.
Plei will be vanishing from that fantasy world very soon, and it
will be difficult for me to say "good-bye" to him. So also for my other
character there, Dr. Jekyll, the alchemist I made as a joke with a friend,
and who ended up becoming a Grandmaster in several of the Arcane
Arts. Perhaps if I had played more RPGs before this, I would think
differently, but Im still new enough that my characters are like old
friends to me. The writer in me calls for a "glorious ending", but the
sentimental old fool in me calls for something more gentle and less
"permanent". Plei and Dr. Jekyll will simply fade away, as so many
unsung heroes have before, to be lost even to those who sing legends.
And, perhaps, to be reborn in another world at another time.
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