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I'm back! I'd really like to apologize to everyone that's read my column
(my wife and that one guy in Brazil...but I think my wife just clicked the
link accidentally) and was wondering where I was. I had a whole bunch of
different excuses that I had come up with and I decided to settle on the one
where my brain escaped my body after seeing the Mr. T vs. the Matrix comic
(it was either that or put my eyes out with acid, but I didn't have any
handy at the time), and it hitched a ride to Vegas. I had some other
excuses, but they were a bit farfetched.
I thought about doing something special as my comeback column, but
figured...ehh...too much work. Oh! I joined a new RP group. There were
about a dozen people there that night, and one or two more that didn't show.
I can't remember ever having played with so many people. I was hoping
that I could get some column inspiration, but I suppose it was not to be.
Thusly, for your enjoyment and knowledge, I'd like to present this month's column:
The Top 13 Ways for You (as a GM) to Handle Your Players
When You Have Too
Many People Show Up on RP Night.
Before I get started, I'd like to show you all a bit of behind the scenes
info, each listing here will have its inspiration listed. See if you can
guess where it came from while you're reading it! Cheat all you want!
You're the GM, you do it anyway!
- Play loud music (metal is good), and whoever can actually yell loud
enough for you to hear (and over the other players) is the one that gets to
act. [Standard Gaming Method]
- Make use of lackeys. Set up one or two players as mini-GMs and assign
them players, so that they can aid in the administration of the game. Don't
interact with the players directly, just the mini-GMs. If you're the power
hungry sort (you're the GM, so this means you), you can also call them
"Empowered Players" and make them do even more work than mini-GMs but
without the benefits of actually being in charge. [Corporate Gaming Method]
- Have the players vote on who gets to talk/act next. If players vote for
specific other players, maybe those players will vote for them next.
[Congressional Method]
- Decide ahead of time who gets to talk and what they get to say, but
don't tell anyone. If they talk out of turn or say the wrong thing, kill
their character. [Fascist/Fred the GM Method]
- Figure out how much time you'll be playing that night. Take half of the
time for yourself, and then divide the remaining time equally between all of
the players. If they use up all of their time, they can't do anything else.
[Communist Method]
- Figure out how much time you'll be playing that night. Take half of the
time for yourself, and then divide the remaining time between all of the
players based on how much money they give to you, or what percentage of the
pizza that they paid for. People that often contribute to you can also get
Time Cuts, where they can occasionally get some of the time they used back.
[Capitalist Method]
- Pick teams and have them fight to the death! Oh, did you think I meant
characters? [Ken/Roman Gladiator Method]
- Don't actually do any running. Just let the players make up their own
rules, and interact with each other's characters however they feel like at
the moment. [Laissez-Faire/Internet Relay Chat Method]
- Get rid of everyone but one player, and make that player play all of the
characters. [Corporate Layoff Method]
- Put all of your players in a big steel cage, give them chairs, and
whoever is left standing gets to play. [WWF Method]
- Put all of your players in a big steel cage, sell them chairs, and
whoever is left standing gets to play. Oh, and don't let them bring food
and drink -- sell it to them. [WWF Live Method]
- a. Give one player a symbol of authority. Whoever has that symbol is the
only one that's allowed to do anything. They each get a certain amount of
time (based on the time you have to play the game) and then have to pass the
symbol to the next player. [Token-Ring Method]
- b. Give one player a symbol of authority. Whoever has that symbol is the
only one that's allowed to do anything. Everyone else is just an extra. No
other rules here, just sit back and watch the fun. [Tolkien-Ring/Evil GM
Tony Method]
- Break out the Ninjaburger books and Munchkin. Death from below! [What
Really Happens Method]
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