This month's column can be summed up into a single sentence: People who cheat at roleplaying games suck. Man, that was easy. Now back to working my way through HP Lovecraft's Dream Cycle. What's that, oh great bullwhip-wielding editor? You were hoping for something that resembles an actual column? Alright, alright, I guess I'll expand upon that concept. People who cheat at roleplaying games really suck. Or perhaps I should say, they are pathetic little losers who for some reason, are so unhappy that they must cheat at a non-competitive game just to feel better about themselves. I wish I could say that it was only silly kids who do this sort of thing, but unfortunately, it's adults. The main cheater in our group, who is no longer in said group, was ex-military, managed a store, and had several methods of cheating. Oh yes, and if you are that guy and for some reason you're reading my column? I caught you cheating twice. You, sir, are a loser. This cheater liked to lie about his dice rolls. He'd either "subtly" tip his dice over to the desired number when he thought no one was looking, or he'd outright lie about his totals. Tell me, if you will, how you can roll 3d10 in a game where 10s explode, not reroll anything, and get 30? You can't, that's how. I'm also pretty certain that he edited his character sheet to suit his pleasure, as I can think of no way that his changeling could have the amount of glamour that I espied on his sheet once. You want to know the funny thing? When this guy, who I'll call Player A, left our group, he did so claiming it was because of favoritism and that Player B was a cheater. Player B is frequently heard to say that Player C is a cheater. Player C claims that Players A AND B are cheaters. The rest of us generally don't go around announcing that anyone is a cheater, even though we all have our suspicions about either B or C, depending on who you ask. How bad is the cheating and the suspicion of cheating? After many hurt feelings and angry murmurings over a player-vs-player fight, our GM instituted a new rule. Any and all rolls against another player must be done with his giant red dice, out on the table where anyone can see them. And the sad thing is, I just don't understand why people cheat. There's nothing to be gained. RP isn't a competition. There's no tangible prize. Sure, your characters have goals, but there's not really winners or losers. Cheating can prevent your character from dying, but when you are fudging nearly every dice roll, there's something seriously wrong with you. Yeah, it's great to be the center of attention when you succeed and do something awesome. But when this constantly happens, you're only the center of attention because everyone wants to catch you in the act of cheating. They're all talking about you, but it's not about how cool your character is; it's about what a cheating weenie you are. Cheating can often ruin the enjoyment of the game for others, too. It's no fun to put most of your points into a skill that you want your character to be great at, only to have the guy who "bought a rank or two of it for fun" to keep rolling "natural 20s" or what-have-you. It leads to the feeling of "Why bother rolling, Player X is just going to do better than me anyway." I'd like to hope that there aren't any cheaters reading this, but if there are... I dare you to e-mail me and explain why you do it. What does it benefit you? Why can't you be happy with the stats on your sheet and the whims of Dame Fortuna? Is it really that bad to occasionally fail? In closing, I would just like to reiterate: cheaters are losers. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go see if poor Randolph Carter ever makes it to Kadath. And by the way? I never did get that Call of Cthulhu game. BAH!

[Back to Collector Times]

[Prev.]

[Return to Gaming]

[Disclaimer]

[Next]

Copyright © 2006 By AJ Reardon E-mail AJ at: ErtheFae@aol.com Visit AJ at: www.erthefae.com