Boy, do I know how to open a can of worms. After some rather annoying behaviour at one of the games I attend, I felt like writing a column on gaming etiquette. I'd been visiting an etiquette-themed forum, so I decided to ask the gamers there to share their worst experiences. I figured I'd get a small handful of stories which might help me flesh out the article. Instead I got a ton of stories, gripes, rants and opinions, enough for a couple of columns. In fact, this is going to be a two-parter. This month I'll cover proper etiquette for players, and next month I'll discuss manners for GMs and hosts. I am by no means any sort of expert on etiquette. I'm sure you all know that and won't see this as any sort of official guide or be-all and end-all of polite gaming behaviour. See it instead as suggestions and perhaps a bit of humor. Gaming doesn't pose the stereotypical etiquette dilemmas. You don't have to worry about what fork to use first when you're eating pizza. You generally don't need to write a "thank you" note to the GM. Invitations are a casual, word of mouth sort of deal. But that doesn't mean that etiquette is completely unnecessary. A certain amount of respect for your fellow players really means a lot. Before I start on my list, let me say that some of this would seem like general common sense, but my experience and the stories I've heard show that some people just don't "get it." Let's start with a very basic issue: hygiene. Cleanliness is next to godliness, and I don't mean deific levels for your fighter. Gaming is often held in close quarters, there's not always the best ventilation or air circulation. As such, please just shower and put on deodorant and reasonably clean clothes before every game. By the same token, don't overdo it on the perfume or cologne. Yes, there is such a thing as too much of a good thing. Next is respect for the place where your game is held. Unless you have express permission, don't put your feet on the furniture, sit on the arm of the couch, or leave a mess for your host to clean up. Ideally, you should leave no mark of your presence. In a related issue, if your game is held in a public place, like a gaming store, try to keep the noise level down so that you don't bother the other patrons. And no, getting louder to drown out the loud group next to you is not proper. Politely asking them to try to quiet down is. A big issue that I've witnessed and which was brought up a couple of times on forums is the treatment of female gamers. Yes, girl gamers are wonderful, amazing, and damn sexy. No, we do not want to pawed, ogled, or constantly asked out on dates even though we've turned you down twenty times. Our female characters do not want to put on a sexy dress to distract the guards. We don't want to sleep with the entire party. Ok, maybe sometimes we do, but don't assume. Let us make it clear. Allow me to repeat: female gamers are NOT fair game. Treat us with respect and as friends, not as potential conquests. I shouldn't even have to say it, but no matter what your gender, don't throw yourself at married gamers. It's just pathetic. Nor should I have to say that as much as possible, you should keep your personal life out of the game. I've written entire columns about it. Don't try to break up the group because you broke up with your girlfriend who also plays. Don't carry your RL fights into the game. And don't try to poison your crush's SO at a gaming potluck. One of my personal pet peeves is uninvited guests at games. Please do not bring your friends to a game without asking the GM. Don't expect him to allow someone in just because you like them. Don't expect him to be happy that your buddy is cracking wise and distracting everyone. Granted, when the game is held at a store, anyone can walk in and say hi, but you shouldn't feel free to encourage them to do so. If you are a guest at a game, don't be a disruption. Don't you dare interrupt combat to tell a story about a combat in another game you were in. Don't start telling WoW stories. Don't give your girlfriend a foot rub. Don't sneak up behind the GM. Don't make up a character and start playing them uninvited. Unless, of course, your name is Evey and you're playing a barmaid who's chasing Scott. That was fricking hilarious and even the GM thought so. Heck, if you're a player in a game, don't be a disruption. There's a little thing called "the dinner break." You know, that stretch of time when everyone is eating and not playing? You can tell all of your WoW stories then. Do not interrupt the GM. Those who are serious about the game are trying to listen to his description. Do not interrupt someone who's trying to roleplay. It's a roleplaying game, not a quip game. Back to the guests thing. If you have the host's permission to bring your little child to the game, make sure you have plenty of stuff to keep them entertained throughout the game. Don't expect little Billy to be happy with one toy for 8 hours. Don't expect someone to be happy to babysit him all night, either. It is very important to respect the GM's rules. If he or she says no to something, don't argue and try to come up with a reason why the answer should be yes, just for you. Don't try to get them to change the setting or campaign to fit what you want. If the game isn't your thing, don't play. And whatever you do, don't try to slip in under the radar with an unapproved character. Please, if you're going to play the game, learn at least the basic rules. No, I don't expect you to have the whole book memorized, but at least figure out what your characters' abilities are, and what dice you need to roll to perform them. When a group is playing the d20 system, you shouldn't have to be reminded every session that yes, you roll a d20 to attack. Let the GM do his job. Don't do it for him. Don't undermine his authority. Don't finish his sentences. Yes, we know that you've read the book front to back three times. That doesn't mean that the GM is incapable of answering questions. Besides, you look like an idiot when the GM says "Make a...." and you say "...agility check" when he was about to say "...reflexes check." Do not correct the GM constantly. Do not tell him or her how to run the game. Do not question his or her monster decisions. If you have that many problems with how a GM does the job, quit the game. I have in the past. Turn off your portable game systems. You have no idea how sick I am of certain players bringing their portable games, playing them when their characters aren't specifically doing something, and then going and trying to show other people what is going on in their game. It's very nice that your character has a super cool move, but my character in the game that we're actually here to play is paying attention to what the NPC is saying to her. If you can't make it to a game, please let someone know. Now, my group is so large that we have a "deflation" system and can play the game no matter who doesn't show up. Other groups, however, rely on each character playing a special part in the story, and if you don't show up, it throws things out of wack. Emergencies are one thing, but if you just don't feel like driving across town, you should contact someone. In this age of internet and cell phones, you can communicate your absence even at the last minute. But if you know well in advance that you won't be around, let the GM know so he or she can plan accordingly. Recently we had a game session which centered around looking for an item that a certain character, and only that character, knew about and wanted. That player was away for that session, at a family trip which had been planned for months. The GM had to improv playing his character, without his character sheet. You know how when you go to a movie, they ask you to turn off your cell phone? Do the same at the game. If you must take or make a call during the game, please step outside of the game area. Don't distract everyone with your phone call and don't expect us to quiet down so you can hear. And please don't sit there sending text messages constantly throughout the game. I know I had more, but I didn't put my notes onto my beautiful new laptop, so I'm going to have to leave it at this. You may have noticed that a big theme on this list is respect. If you respect your fellow gamers, you should be pretty safe without having to remember the tons of things in this column. Check in next month for the second half of this column. Until then, happy gaming!

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Copyright © 2006 By AJ Reardon E-mail AJ at: ErtheFae@aol.com Visit AJ at: www.erthefae.com