This month, I thought I'd take a break from commenting on comics and review the new Fantastic Four movie, and "The New Adventures of Batman" DVD set of the 1977 animated series. "Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer" Rated: PG Running time: 92 minutes

THE GOOD: There's a nice Stan Lee cameo in this, reminiscent of the FF Annual #3 comic where Stan Lee and Jack Kirby were turned away from Reed Richards (Mr. Fantastic) and Sue Storm (Invisible Woman)'s wedding. Lee got to actually deliver a few lines in this movie, which was nice to see. I thought naming Johnny Storm (Human Torch)'s love interests Julie Angel and Frankie Raye was a nice comic geek touch. Jessica Alba as the Invisible Woman is very easy on the eye. The special effects were over-the-top and very good. There was a lot of well-executed humor in the film. THE BAD: Again, we're subjected to director Tim Story's "we're-moving-from-point A-to-point B-and-I-don't-care-how-we-get-there-who-cares?" direction. While I like Julian McMahon (Dr. Doom) on the F/X TV series "Nip/Tuck," I still think he's badly miscast, and doesn't have the malevolence of the character from the comic books. I think he and Ioan Gruffud (Mr. Fantastic) should've have traded roles. Alas, no Galactus. Granted, it would've been a helluva feat to depict "him" onscreen, I didn't really get any sense of menace as there should/could have been. THE UGLY: Again, we're subjected to a gratuitous scene where Invisible Woman becomes visible and has no clothes on. Did I say ugly? I say this is "ugly" in the sense that we got the (sexist) joke in the first movie, not in the sense regarding Ms. Alba's looks. BOTTOM LINE: Okay, I admit it. I went to the midnight showing pretty much to see the lovely Jessica Alba and to see if her acting had improved. A few minutes into it, I pretty much didn't care, and thought she was fine. It's not the best comic book movie ever made, but certainly not the worst.   "THE NEW ADVENTURES OF BATMAN" (1977) DVD 2 Discs 16 Episodes 363 Minutes

After watching this, I now am jealous of the generation who first discovered Batman in animated form via the brilliant nad noir-ish "Batman: The Animated Series" from the '90s. Why? Because the first animated form of Batman that I saw growing up was from this '77 series, and after rewatching it, only God only knows how I am still a Batman fan. THE GOOD: Adam West and Burt Ward provided the voices of Batman/Bruce Wayne and Robin/Dick Grayson, respectively. That's about the only good thing I can say about it. THE BAD: Where do I start? The stories are formulaic and overly simplistic, even by Saturday morning cartoon fare standards, and makes the live-action '60s Batman series look like a compelling masterpiece on every level by comparison. There's no excitement or real sense of peril for the heroes at all, no cliff-hangers to speak of. Batman does little by way of actual detective work too. The earlier Filmation series from the late '60s that predated this one was much more superior. Adding to the mess is the inclusion of Bat-Mite, a fifth dimensional imp (read: "comic relief") who has the hots for Batgirl and while trying to help the heroic duo causes more harm than good; flooding the Bat cave, taking apart the Batmobile, etc. Batman's usual rogue gallery is present: Joker, Penguin, and Clayface. Catwoman is here, but depicted with long brown hair, cat mask over her eyes, and in an orange costume with with gloves and boots. There's also some cringe-worthy additions: Sweet Tooth, Moonman, a magical impish alien called Zarbor, Electro and the Chameleon (the latter two are not to be confused by the Marvel Comics versions of the same name). After each story there's a "Bat Message" which started as little morals ("Well, Joker sure gave us a time, but his greed did him in, etc.") over the course of the first few episodes and just devolved into being another superfluous comic-relief Bat-Mite antic as the series progressed. THE UGLY: I sure didn't remember these episodes like I thought I would. I daresay it's easy to see where the inspiration for the old Saturday Night Live shorts "The Ambiguously Gay Duo" came from. I couldn't help but see some gay overtones and subtext here. Alfred isn't present at all in the series. In one episode, before the Bat signal summons Batman and Robin, Dick is cooking a meal for Bruce, and in another episode, he's cutting his hair. In the opening and closing credits, Batman is doing a lot of gymnastic and odd acrobatic moves; swinging on flagpoles, doing handsprings on the sidewalk all just to get to the Batmobile instead of running to it. Riddler is shown in the opening credits (even though he doesn't appear in ANY of the episodes on the DVDs) wearing a pink costume. Please note that I am NOT stating that being gay or that homosexuality is "ugly" in any way; only that I didn't remember this series like I thought I would and definitely saw it now in another light. BOTTOM LINE: Even for a hardcore Batman fan, I can't recommend it; not even for nostalgic value. Of all the incarnations of an animated Batman series, this was the worst one bar none. I'd say by the writing and dialogue, this series was aimed for someone around age 6. But I think today's 6-year-old's would be bored by the long, drawn-out scenes with Bat-Mite and the repetitive music score. Some things best remain forgotten, and this is one of them.

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