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Almost anyone with a working television, frequent internet access, or regular trips to the grocery or department stores will have seen the "news" last month concerning reality television stars Jon and Kate Gosselin. Their names popped up in the news headlines every time I logged into the computer (at least until the death of Michael Jackson overwhelmed the media), their faces graced the covers of about 90% of the gossip magazines and tabloids surrounding the check-out lines in stores, and I didn't even have to tune in to their show or the channel it was on to hear snippets about them on the television.
The Gosselins were propelled to overnight stardom when, with twin daughters already, Kate delivered sextuplets. The programming people at The Learning Channel decided viewers would be interested in how a young couple coped with raising eight children, six of whom were at the same age, and thus the show, "Jon and Kate Plus Eight" was created.
Now, a little over two years after going on the air, the show is on hiatus as the Gosselins work through a divorce, and it leaves me wondering how much of the damage to their marriage was done by the constant public eye.
This column is not intended to slam Jon and Kate Gosselin, as I find it difficult to imagine that I would have made a different decision if I'd been in their position. The prospect of raising eight children is daunting, and I'm sure at the time that the pay for allowing the cameras into their lives seemed a Godsend.
It's distressing, though, that so much of our culture has become addicted to "Reality Television" of this type. Millions of people tune in each week to various shows, supposedly to watch how other "real people" live their lives. There have even been rumors that Nadya Suleman, aka "Octomom," likewise has inked a deal for a reality show on her brood of fourteen children, but so far no word on whether any network has expressed interest in carrying it.
The trouble is, this is called "Reality television," but it's anything but real. Sure, people like the Gosselins are real people, and the show isn't scripted the way a sit-com is, but the show itself has altered the reality of their lives.
Our old Rabbi often stressed a point. The real 'me' is the person I am when I think no one is looking. Even if the camera is mounted to a wall and I don't see anyone behind it, I still have a subconscious awareness that someone is looking, and very few of us ever want anyone to see who we really are.
This is why voyeurism has such an appeal to us. We want to see who someone really is, and the only way we can accomplish that is if they don't know we're watching. There was a guilty pleasure in catching a candid peek at someone, and those truly addicted to that sensation were the ones hiding in the bushes to look through the window. Reality television came along and freed those inner voyeurs that most of us didn't want to admit we had. We no longer had to risk shame if we were caught outside a neighbor's window. Now, we could just tune in the television from the privacy of our living rooms and do the same thing.
Our subjects, though, weren't acting candid. They knew we were watching, and so we turned to the paparazzi and the gossip magazines for those "unguarded moments." We continued to watch while their lives careened towards an emotional disaster, even while the rumor-mongers scrambled to see who would be the first to break the next scandal.
We feel fine about all this, of course, because - unlike some disgusting pervert - we weren't slinking through the bushes to peer through the windows. We were just the ready audience, fueling a market that offered lucrative pay for people willing to sell themselves into exhibitionism.
It's time our culture admitted it has a problem with voyeurism, and started tuning in to other programs that don't feed our naughty addiction. It's time to restore the "education" to Educational Television, and just say 'no' to any more of these Reality Show train wrecks. It's time, too, to get out and live our own lives, instead of wasting our time watching other people live theirs.
Remember; we control the content in our media by what we choose to partake of. If no one is watching; if no one is listening; if no one is reading, then there is no reason to keep producing it.
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