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Okay - the technical errors that prevented me to do The Avengers last month has been solved. And while it may be the first week of June when you read this, I haven't seen the movie yet. It's only the last week of April where I am. Anyway- my two Avengers lists this month are the top ten best Avengers stories plus a neat side trip into The Ten Coolest Characters to ever be Avengers. Trust me, at least seven of my choices won't be on anybody else's lists. Plus as punishment for having to have half an article corrected for a large number of conversion errors - another Kitty Pryde related list.
- Breakout: Bendis' work on Avengers tends to rub a lot of people the wrong way. I feel when he's good- he's superb. When he doesn't have his head in the game- he's terrible. Here however on his second Avengers story he does a strong set up for the new team. The group of villains is low scale enough that individually they aren't a match for the heroes- it is the sheer number that forces our heroes together. Secondly- the lower power level of the villains plays to the fact that on this team there really isn't any cosmic firepower. When Luke Cage is one of your heavy hitters that kind of tells you the type of Avengers this is going to be. A mix of high and low adventure with high powered crazies with time out for character moments. I like the fact that a lot of these people aren't what would once have been considered Avengers material in the classic sense. I like that Spider-Man, one of the most experienced heroes of the Marvel Universe, questions his place on a team that lets in Cage.
- The Mole Man of The Ants (Avengers Classic #12): Most two to five page stories in modern comics kind of suck. However writer Brian Patchett calls in the secret weapon. A man who can tell more of a story in two panels than some artists can tell in a whole 128 pages fully painted graphic novel. When you're working with a guy like Sergio Aragones, you know you're going to crank out a top notch comic. Don't even bother with a script. It is really unnecessary. Which is why the only words Patchett bothers including are signs. Well- that and because Moloids can't talk. See the whole story is about the fate of a lost pouch of Pym particles left in the Mole Man's kingdom and the birth of a new super hero. Never mind- no words can do an Aragones cartoon justice. Any summary of an Aragones pantomime cartoon would take longer to explain than it would to read the story itself, yet I tried anyway. Did I err? (Yes- no more Groo plugs.)
- The Real Origin of the Avengers (Avengers Classic #1): Ever wonder how The Avengers really came about? I mean sure, the origin was practically given away in The Avengers Volume 1. #1 but I mean how and why they started to organize? Some would have you believe that it had a lot to do with some guy named Tony Stark or a woman named Janet Van Dyne. Another guy says in the end it was all his idea? That man is not just any man. He is THE MAN with the Stan. Now- The Avengers seem to ignore everything Mr. Lee tells them and even laugh at him. Since they inevitably listen to him and his promises of movie deals and meeting Captain America- I'm not one to argue with Mr. Marvel.
- Solo Avengers #30: Hawkeye has shot a lot of people over the years- but usually non fatally and he used arrows. What happens to Hawkeye when he becomes a victim of gun violence? He sets out to clean up the streets. Other members of the West Coast Avengers begin to notice changes in Hawkeye's behavior. There is some debate on his new approach. Only Hawkeye soon discovers it would take more than taking away guns to solve gang violence. It's not as heavy handed as it might seem. It shouldn't be surprising since it is by comics legend Steve Gerber.
- The Day The Strangers Came (Avengers Annual #19): Super heroes are always capturing petty thieves, burglars and drug dealers as part of their help the community gig. Have you ever wondered- "Wow, I wonder if that guy holding up the gas station had a family?" Kurt Buseik obviously did- for he concocts a story featuring a little boy, a hate group and the arrival of the Avengers. A little boy is a huge Avengers fan. He loves his older brother. He finds out his brother is in the Serpent Society. It's a story about a child doing what is right- even if it might not seem right. It's about loyalty versus morality. It's about being a hero- even to those the world considers the mightiest of the breed.
- West Coast Avengers #46: A few years prior to this story over at the distinguished competition, there was a well known super team that packed its bags and moved to Detroit. It was a decision that was disliked by many fans. That same title then went through a phase that was comedic. People either loved it or hated it. Marvel decided to spoof these events which were perceived as blunders and thus The Great Lakes Avengers were born. Now, I'm a huge fan of one these eras of the DC book but this piece- as parody of a parody- it is one of the most surreal stories I've ever read. Especially since it gets played without interrupting the serious story arc. Hawkeye and Mockingbird play it one hundred percent serious. And that is part of what makes it funny. Not quite as good as what they are parodying- but very very close.
- The Korvac Saga: It's rare that a storyline goes through three authors and still remains coherent. This one- by Jim Shooter, David Michelinie and Bill Mantlo does. Probably because Jim Shooter who was in transition between being a writer and editor to Marvel's EIC, stayed onboard to plot and do dialogue assists. It is amongst cosmic Marvel at its best. There are some nice humorous touches- especially in the use of Beast. The Guardians of the Galaxy are used to give a quick little shout out to a certain other super team from another century that Shooter once wrote. Plus it features the rebirth of Jocasta- and introduces one of the Avengers and X-Men's greatest foes the dangerous and bureaucratic Henry Gyrich.
- Avengers Forever: So who has the body of the original Human Torch- Vision of the temporarily reactivated original Human Torch? Rama Tut becomes Kang, who becomes Immortus, who becomes Rama Tut- who really came first? What happened to all the power Rick Jones got from the Kree Supreme Intelligence? How can Rick be dying when he was supposed to be key to saving the future? All these questions and more are answered in one of the most time and head twisting Avengers stories ever told. Kurt Buseik outdoes himself.
- The Kree Skrull War: Most of the Avengers best stories are cosmic. This is the most cosmic Avengers story of them all. Stan Lee and Jack Kirby created both The Kree and Skrull. It took Roy Thomas to send them to war. Only to make matters interesting- Earth was but one of many of their battlefields- which drags the Avengers and every other super hero on Earth into the scope of battle. Everyone who was anyone- or anyone in the Marvel Universe that Roy Thomas thought was cool- had a part to play in this sucker. I mean everyone- including cameos of a certain mustachioed newspaper editor and arch foe of Spider-Man.
- The Last Avengers Story: Almost all the super heroes are dead. Ultron returns. A handful of the next gen heroes along with the few surviving Avengers and X-People join together. Only the question becomes can they stop him? Slowly but surely the answer becomes clear. However the answer is "They don't call it The Last Avengers Story" for nothing. Writer Peter David mixes his usual grim dramatic style and gallows humor to create a future that is dark enough to be dystopian but bright enough not to be depressing. Adding to this feel is some gorgeous art by Ariel Olivetti. It is a story that took almost ten years to tell. Really- Peter David wrote it in 1986 but Marvel shelved it due to editorial squabbling until 1995.
And now the coolest Avengers list. Not necessarily the most popular or most powerful just by over all coolest characters.
- Captain America: I've only recently begun to appreciate Captain America. Whether the red, white and blue clad blind patriot of the Simon and Kirby age, to the disenfranchised cynic of Steve Englehart run, to the guy attempting to rebuild the man called Steve Rogers envisioned by J.M. DeMatteis, Captain America seems to bring out something in the Avengers. Not only that- but The Avengers bring out something in him. That's the reason he's become so emblematic of the team. He learns from them as much as they learn from him. He doesn't lead by force (like Iron Man) or fear like Thor. He leads by example.
- Lightspeed: Ah- Power Pack.... how I really got roped into being a Marvel Comics reader in the first place. Julie was always the most serious of the team even though she was the second oldest. Overtime, she learned to loosen up a little. As a student of The Avengers Academy- she's shown she can at least try to find a place for herself on her own and be part of the big time. The rest of her family found a place with the Future Foundation. Not that she won't always be there for her family if they need her. She's just developed a life apart from them.
- Frog-Man: Okay- he's fat, he's clumsy and he's kind of a moron. Even Spider-Man- a guy known for being a bit of a goofball and friend to inexperienced heroes everywhere- tends to laugh him off. Yet somehow the damned fool made it into the Fifty State Initiative. Later Mrs. Marvel declared him to be an Avenger and you can't get much more official than that. He is the essence of the comic fanboy. We all like to think we'd be Spider-Man or Iron Man or even Speedball. No- we'd be Frog Man, plain and simple. Deal with it. I have.
- Spider-Woman (Jessica Drew): Spider-Woman is dark, mysterious- so much so she sometimes doesn't even know herself- and at the same time is somewhat fragile and naive. A weird combination. With her background working for SHIELD and HYDRA at various points in her career, she is in some ways a better fit for the team than her happy go lucky male counterpart. She's also a bit more impulsive and hot headed- and much less of a team player. To further her contradictions, she's also usually a little more mature than Webhead. She's a fascinating character on her own or as part of a team.
- Squirrel Girl: Okay- being able to take down Doctor Doom solo should grant almost instantaneous membership to the Avengers in my book. Especially when you do so in front of Iron Man when he's shown to be completely incapable to doing anything. Now- whether she's kicking ass as a member of the Great Lakes Avengers/X-Men/Initiative/Masters of Evil/Whatever they are calling themselves now or as Jessica Jones and Luke Cage's nanny- she is all kinds of awesome- or hilarious. Or both. I love how even Bendis, not a man known for his sense of humor, recognizes this and doesn't try to take her too seriously. Speaking of Squirrel Girl though- next up is her ex-boyfriend...
- Speedball- The Masked Marvel: Up until Civil War, I always thought Robbie Baldwin was a great character. Avengers Academy, Avengers: The Initiative and Fear Itself: The Home Front restored my love of this character. Not only that- by keeping just a little of his angst ridden edge picked up during Civil War and Thunderbolts, he's proven he's got what it takes to be an Avenger without losing the sense of humor that kept him appealing. Yes, he bowed out of teaching pretty quickly- however he was seen back in action as a virtual one man Avengers team in the aforementioned Fear Itself. Also- if you're an alternate universe fan- a happy go lucky version of Speedball was a member and former leader of the Avengers in the MC2 universe. Both versions are fun to read about.
- Spider-Man: A lot of fans don't like Spidey as an Avenger. I like him there. The Avengers are the All Star team of the Marvel universe. Whose face was used as the logo for all Marvel for decades? Who was the first Marvel stamp issued by the Post Office? Who is the most profitable character in Marvel's history? Spider-Man. A lot of people say Spidey is a street level guy and doesn't belong on a cosmic scale team. However- Marvel Team Up ran for almost fifteen years and it had Spidey teaming up with the big guys and doing cosmic stuff all the time. Plus- Spider-Man is very uncertain as an Avenger even when guys like Iron Fist seem to fit right in. I like that the fact that Captain America- while not a founding member is by far the guy most exemplarily of its ideals- chose him to be on the team and Spider-Man still doesn't think he belongs there. That's Peter Parker in a nutshell.
- The Beast: What makes Hank McCoy amazing as an Avenger is that as an X-Man he's a very subdued bookworm of a character with occasional one liners. As an Avenger, he's sarcastic, wild and he cuts loose without losing his scientific prowess. He gets to be the charismatic scientist. He's not the stuffed shirt teacher. He's a man amongst equals and the only person he has to set an example for is himself. If you know Hank only from his X-Book appearances- this can be a little surprising but also incredibly refreshing.
- The Vision: Part of the "third wave" of Avengers, he is one of the most interesting members because of the ongoing debate the character represents- what is it that makes a human being a person? Can a computer have personhood? If a robot has the same thoughts, feelings, emotions and memories of a pre-existing human being is he really a sentient being? Is there such thing as a soul? If there is- can it be mass produced? If you're walking around in a body that is not your own- do you have a right to exist? Were he just a vehicle for those philosophical ideas- he'd be boring. It's the way they come to be answered and the way that uncertainty makes him react that makes him interesting.
- The Thing: Okay- Ben is probably better known as a founding member of the Fantastic Four but he's also been an Avenger- twice. You know- somehow this works. One team is his family. The other team are his pals. I think Ben is more relaxed as an Avenger. As an FF member he is either the brooding angst ridden one or the goofball who is secretly Reed's conscience. He's been the big brother figure to Johnny. The loving uncle to Franklin and Val. As an Avenger we see Ben Grimm at play. Which after Johnny's temporary death I think he needed. Even when Johnny was around he needed it- if only to get away from him for awhile. Otherwise he wouldn't have been poker buddies with The Avengers all those years.
And as a bonus demanded by our editorial department "The Many Loves of Kitty Pryde."
- Caliban: Who can forget Caliban who looks like The Elephant Man's albino brother, is as mentally present as a Twilight fan in line at the movies and shows about as much restraint as the Afghani police force. He wasn't as much of a love interest as he was- well, a stalker. In her more naive days, Kitty tried being his friend anyway. Then again- he did get stabbed in the shoulder for her at one point. They probably would have stayed friends if it hadn't been for his going psycho and becoming Apocalypse's willing hound. The few times they saw each other after that- things were never quite the same.
- Pete Wisdom: I dislike Warren Ellis over all. That's one strike against Pete. Though to be honest the real reason for putting him so low on the list is the way he treated her near the end- like her thoughts and opinions didn't matter. The real reason I hate him (and real guys like him) is this: Pete Wisdom is an alcoholic, self-absorbed, emotionally abusive jackass who acts likes he doesn't care but tries to make that seem like a cover when it's not. I have known a lot of smart, feisty, geek girls in my day. One in particular was in a similar situation to Kitty's with Pete. I ran into this friend years later and asked her why she continued dating that guy for as long as she did. She told me: "If I thought a nice, smart, charming guy was interested I wouldn't have." Even though I knew I wasn't relationship material at the time it was going on- the realization that my own insecurities inadvertently hurt someone I cared about made me feel like crap. The thing is- she knew how I felt the whole time, understood where I was coming from. She forgave me for it and part of me hates her for it.
- Piotr Rasputin: The course of first love never runs true. Especially with Kitty and Piotr. The first time it really sparked- she was 13 and he was 19. He'd have been committing statutory rape and she was infected with mind altering alien bugs. Then he went to another planet and slept with someone else. The second time it sparked- she was sent off in a magic bullet and everyone thought she was dead. The third time it sparked- Piotr opted to take the power of Juggernaut to spare his sister's sanity. Kitty for obvious reasons had a problem with this. Plus there was the time he tried to beat the $#^! out of another guy she was seeing. But considering it was only Pete Wisdom- that's not only forgivable but admirable.
- Lockheed the Dragon: Lockheed's connection to Kitty is an odd one. Sometimes strictly platonic, other times a girl and her pet- at least one writer (Alan Davis) has played with the idea that Lockheed was madly in love with Kitty. In would explain his constantly perched on her shoulder where he could look down - no let's not go there and say we did. Okay. Because otherwise- it just gets kind of weird. I am weirder than a dragon of indeterminate age being in love with a humanoid from her teen years onward.
- Iceman: These two have sparked in more than one timeline. There was some flirting between them in Ultimate X-Men. There was one scene in X-Men 3: The Last Stand and in that book I refuse to name. Then there is the blossoming spark in canon. It sort of works. They are both looking for the same sort of thing: to just live as close a normal life as possible and to learn to simply enjoy living. Which is something no one on the team really knows how to do but who knows- maybe they could be the first.
- Xian Coy Mahn: Okay this one did not quite happen. It came very close. Still- there was at least enough interest of Kitty's part to leave her confused for a day or two. It opened up a window into both characters we'd never seen before. Unlike Caliban's unrequited attraction- these two still talk to each other. They are incredibly close friends. X-Men: The End based itself on Claremont's original ending to MekaniX- and that it either did happen at one point or they have an open arrangement- and Kitty used Piotr for childbearing and political purposes. It is not quite clear.
- Sir Anthony: Okay, like Caliban- he's a bit of a stalker. However- Sir Anthony has much more of a noble side. He was really one part drooling comics fanboy and one part Don Quixote. If he had put as much effort into getting to know Kitty rather than trying to impress her-who knows? Maybe he wouldn't have seemed half as creepy. Anything else? Well, no- it wasn't going to happen. It was amusing however.
- Peter Parker: I tried reading several Ultimate titles, I really did. There were only two characters I found myself liking at all- Kitty Pryde and Peter Parker. Though my fondness for them is far diluted from their 616 counterparts. When I first heard about these two being together I said, "What the Hell?" When I read one or two issues of the results- seeing Peter and Kitty in a world where they were close to the same age- this made perfect sense. Both of them are geeky, smart and socially awkward super powered teenagers. Though Kitty- in true Ultimate Universe form- is not as smart as her regular self. They seemed cute together. Alas, by the end of one of the issues I read- I wound up hating Peter. Oh well- that's two less titles to waste tradepaperback money on.
- Doug Ramsey: This is a rare one on the list- a guy who is close to Kitty's age, is just as geeky as she is and treats her like a human being. While it was a flirtation that didn't last long- it was one that really helped both of them. Doug was uncomfortable with the idea of being a mutant. After Piotr, Kitty needed to know it was possible to love again. It is also one of those rarities that you rarely see in comics- or even in real life- where a friendship was still there after the romance burned out.
- Garfield Logan: I know what you're thinking! He's a DC character. However, the X-Men met the Teen Titans in one of the intercompany crossovers. While the rest of the teams are at each other's throats these two kind of made cute. If Jim Shooter and Paul Levitz hadn't called on their avatar Wolverine's timely intervention- this one had a lot of potential. Gar is smarter than people give him credit for and is sort of a well meaning wiseass. He needs someone understanding and fearlessly smart to balance him out. She's got compassion by the bucket load and- at least by that point- hadn't dated anyone who go to absurd lengths just to make her laugh. All X-Men- even Kitty- could use that. If it weren't for this story is technically part of the X-Books Apocrypha- this one is almost perfect.
Next: Justice League
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