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National Security experts warn those in the Military and those working in sensitive jobs, to be careful what they post on social networking sites like Facebook. Their reasoning is that enemy intelligence operatives regularly monitor such sites, looking to glean useful information from careless slip-ups in the posts. Well, they should know about surreptitious surveillance, since recent news has reported they've been doing that very thing to us as well.
What this did make me wonder, is just what kind of duty this must be for the agents assigned to it . . .
"So, Agent Puce, what have you learned from the American's social networking today?"
"I have learned that Americans idolize a surly cat, my commander."
"A surly cat, you say?"
"She is said to hate everything."
"And just how is this useful to us, Agent Puce?"
"Perhaps she hates the Americans as much as we do, my commander. If so, we could recruit her to our cause."
"She is a cat. Did you consider that she is just as likely to hate us as well?"
"I did not consider that, my commander."
"That is why you are just an agent, and I am a commander. What else have you learned?"
"I have learned that liberals hate conservatives, and that conservatives hate liberals. I hope, soon, to learn what are these 'liberals' and 'conservatives' they speak of, for I see no one that fits the descriptions each gives of the other."
"That information is as useful as the cat, Agent Puce. What else?"
"I know what Aunt Bertha had for breakfast every day in the last four weeks."
"Does this Aunt Bertha have access to secret information that we might get her to share with us?"
"Uh, no, my commander. She spends all her time playing Farmville."
"Agent Puce, do you recall what I said to you when I gave you this assignment?"
"That you regretted you had already assigned the weed cleanup around our headquarters to Agent Orange?"
"More than ever now, but I meant the other part of what I told you."
"That if I did well in this mission, I could earn my way back into the field. Honestly, my commander, I am trying, but this social networking is an unbelievable waste of time. I cannot fathom why the Americans are so fascinated with it. Every hour that I spend on it, makes me feel like my intelligence is fading away."
"Is that so?"
"Yes, my commander. I beg you, please, to give me a different duty. I will clean the latrines with a toothbrush! I will sort through rotting garbage for discarded technical devices! I will even polish your boots with my tongue! Anything! Just don't force me to spend all day reading all their pointless arguments!"
"Pointless arguments?"
"Yes, my commander. It seems any time anyone on the social networking sites voices an opinion, it unleashes a torrent of both opposition and support which soon degrades into an exchange of juvenile insults."
"You don't say . . . "
"I am not exaggerating, my commander. It seems that it matters not what the position is - it could be as simple as saying the sky is blue, and someone will take issue with it."
"This could be useful."
"Commander?"
"If we can keep the Americans arguing amongst themselves, we can manipulate them as we choose. We can even use that trait to trick them into revealing secret information to us! Excellent job, Agent Puce!"
"Thank you, my commander!"
"I believe I owe you a promotion."
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