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As usual, it was the end of the month and there were only 2 comic books that looked
worthy of reading on the shelf. I had already reviewed both of those series not too long
ago, so I was stuck with choosing something random. I had something dopey but harmless
looking in my hand when a dog-eared cover caught my eye "The Ballad of Utopia" - it said
in huge letters across a dark sunset-colored background - "A Gothic Western". My first
shuddering thought was of the Gunslinger, a book I have thankfully managed to almost fully
forget most of. Almost impossibly, this comic was worse than that novel.
Written by Barry Buchanan and drawn by Michael Hoffman, The Ballad of Utopia is
produced by Black Daze Publishing. The back cover has a blurb reminiscent of what you
would find on the back of a novel, giving away enough of the plot to try to draw you in
. . . Is it just me, or is that a bit silly for something that's only 20 pages long?
The inside of the front covers tells us that Ballad is "Part One of another patented
Black Daze dime novel told in Eight titillating installments." If it's a dime novel,
the comic book shop over-charged me by $2.85. The book might actually be worth a
dime, too, even with a dog-eared cover.
As far as I can tell, they call it a Gothic Western because there's this dude that
shows up on a few pages, wearing a black coat that hangs down to his mid-calves and
a top hat with a demonic looking skull on it. He also has a saber. He's apparently the
Gothic element of the story. The rest is pure Western... Sheriffs and dusty towns.
There was no "Mature Readers" warning on the cover, so I expected something
moderately harmless . . . Boy, was I wrong! The language is foul, to say the least,
with plenty of crude references. As if that weren't enough, there's a scattering of
female nudity. Luckily, it's safe to assume that most kids will be more drawn to
flashy super heroes than a Gothic Western.
The story leaves a lot to be desired. It centers around the murder of Charlie
Burnette, keeper of the stage station. Charlie looks like a normal old man, until
the last page when the doctor's daughter (herself training to be a doctor) is
getting ready to examine his body. Then she founds out the horrible truth . . .
Charlie was a woman *gasp!* We know this because Charlie's chest would make Barbie
proud. I looked back to Charlie's corpse in the beginning... She most have kept
herself well-wrapped, because that was the most flat-chested body I've ever seen.
Come on guys . . . You know that clothes do nothing to make a woman look like a
man if she's that "well-endowed".
There. I just summed the story up for you in one paragraph! Save your $2.95
for a better book!
The art is good black-and-white, well-detailed, but not enough to be worth
the money, not enough to save the sorry story. It's a safe bet that as bad as
this first issue was, there's no way the story could improve enough in the 7
remaining issues to be worth reading. Maybe some genres aren't designed to be
crossed.
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