Hello dearly devoted fans, I've got some treats
for you this month! 3 reviews for the price of 1.
We have "Cannibal! The musical", which is Trey
Parker and Matt Stone's illegitimate love child.
They made this film several years before South
Park, and as a matter of fact, they made it in
college while on spring break. 2nd film in line is
"Legend of the Chupacabra", a small film
distributed but not made by Troma, and Last but
not least we have the fantastically magnificent
"Radar Men From the Moon", an old serial film
that played at matinee's which a small company
called Roan is distributing along with whole
bunch of old horror movies and matinee serials.
With all that out of the way, I bring you
"CANNIBAL! The musical!". One of the most
outrageously hilarious films in the world. This
film has got it all: dismemberment, people eating
people, Asian Indians with toilet paper t.p.s, and
of course music, very catchy music! The songs
vary from the tragically heartbreaking songs such
as "When I Was on Top of You" to the warm
heartfelt songs like "Hang the Bastard!" but the
one that gets everyone is "Let's Build a
Snowman".
This movie is based on a true story about the
only person in American History to be trialed for
cannibalism, Alferd Packer. Packer and his
team of miners head up into the hills looking for
a new mining spot. Danny, bring out the cast!
We've got Trey Parker as the lovable cannibal
and leader of the group, Alferd Packer. Packer is
all for leading the groups to Colorado territory
until his horse magically disappears over night.
He then decides to go off the trail to follow the
evil trappers who he thinks stole his beloved
horse. On their venture they bump into all sorts
of trouble from Japanese Indians to trappers
wearing tights to a good ol' Southerner cyclops,
all in a jolly spring chorus of course!
This movie is great for a whole lot of reasons,
but one of the most important reasons is the fact
that this movie can't be classified. It's gory
enough to be a horror film, there are enough
jokes for it to be a comedy, and theres enough
singing and dancing for it to be the next
Broadway hit! Another great reason for liking
this movie is the simple fact that it was shot on
spring break with a group of friends. This movie
is what kinda filled the tank for Trey Parker and
Matt Stone. Overall, the movie is a little
unrefined and un-tuned with some scenes that go
on too long, but with quotes such as, "This
Canyon is so beautiful," spoken by a 5-day
starving Swan, or even better, "Yeah, I'm having
a drinky-poo," spoken by the down-trodden,
depressed Packer, this movie is fun for all! Go
rent it now, and if you can't find it for rental,
BUY IT!! It's worth it! I also have to say this is
one of my top 3 favorite movies of all time.
"Radar Men from the Moon" the title begs for the
b-movie construction paper fabricated
championship belt. I was expecting a basic black
and white, Ed Wood styled serial film from the
old matinee theater days, and that's pretty much
what I got. I mean the acting was terrible, and
that's always a good thing; the special effects
were good. They used a lot of stock footage from
train wrecks to exploding air blimps. The plot
follows Commander Cody(just think Rocketeer
in beta stages, from the get-up to the helmet) who
is fighting a force from Mars. What is the force?
Aliens from the moon who strangely look like
humans, talk English and who operate from a
craft that looks like my living room. And my
living room is not a space-craft for all of you
uncertain ones. Commander Cody finds out about
the alien threat when important buildings and
transportation methods (trains, planes and the
rest) explode out of thin air. They trace the
explosions to a... RADAR cannon! Who would
of thought?! So we've got the radar, we've got
the men from the moon, and the first episode
already garners the entire introduction to all the
characters in 1 small 14 minute episode. How do
they fill the rest of the episodes you ask? Think
Batman (Adam West era) with suave looking
aliens, and every episode ends in a cliffhanger
ending only to be continued by a ridiculous
escape that any shmoe could out do. The jetpack
scenes with C.C. are kinda neat when you think
of the time it was made. Overall, the movie
makes a great to own for those of you who are
into the matinee jive, but to those just in search
of a good b-movie, rent first, buy later.
I was patiently waiting by the mail box for my
cult status to arrive when I was magically
surprised with a green and white striped box,
with what other name on the front than "Sheryl
Roberts" and a Texan address. So I giddily
opened the package with a suave look on my
face, bringing back the secret agent days to mind.
Newspapers, crumpled up newspapers, more
newspaper, and *tadah!* "The Legend of
Chupacabra!" As mentioned earlier, this little
film is another to jump on the train of Blair
Witch clones, but this one brings the tasty 60s
monster movie feel to it along for the ride. Its
based on a mythical creature, the Chupacabra,
which translates to, and I'm not lying, "Goat
Sucker". Supposedly, the Chupacabra came from
outer space and killed farmer's goats. Well in
this film, the "film makers" want to get footage of
the beast, and the movie takes off at the latest
sighting/goat slaughter. They meet the farmer,
and he's not a very bright man. They meet this
weird lady coming to free the goats spirit. She
gets attacked by my good pal Chupie
Chupacabra, and the camera man instinctively
runs after it only to have his guts ripped from his
stomach. What ensues is some terrible acting and
some extremely cool gore, including a
ChupaCabra autopsy. The acting was sub-par
which was really funny.
Overall, this movie is for the Blair Witch,
monster movie crowd. If you like b-movies, the
Blair Witch Project, and monster movies, this is
the perfect movie for you. I like all three, so it
was a great comical, gory fun time, no singing
and dancing though... which is always an added
bonus to any movie. Read more on it first, and if
it catches your eye, I'd give it a watch. Maybe
even buy it, if your really into these Horror
mockumentaries.
Well, thats it for this month, stay connected for
next month's review where I'll be reviewing
"Terror Firmer", John Woo's "The Killer" and
another movie which I haven't selected yet. So
look out for that, and while your reading this
site, go over and check out my bros review if
you haven't already. And check out my coverage
on Fantasia, if you'd like!
I'd like to thank Sheryl for the present, and the
post office for getting it here in time!
Till next month your friendly and
cannibalistically lyrical companion and vacuum
cleaner thief, Nny.
Click on the following images if you wish to
purchase one of the titles I reviewed in this
article (can't find Legend of the Chupacabra on
Amazon so I can't put it up):