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Let me start out by saying that I had a really good review going, then my
WordPad crashed on me in the middle of it, and since reviews are so
short I never save them while they're in progress. So, 3 1/2 hours later,
here I am giving it another go! Oh yes, and usually when I review an
early issue in a series, I go ahead and reference to all available issues,
but right now I have issue #2 in front of me and no time to dig for #1, so
expect some holes in my memory as to the exact story. Now, on with the
review!
When DreamWave/Image started publishing Warlands, I was impressed.
I was also somewhat impressed with everything else of theirs I read,
whether or not I liked the story. Well, these days I have to wonder if
they've gone rapidly down hill, or if I was just a helluva lot less picky
back then and desperate for some good comics (so much so that I'd
delude myself into thinking that a so-so book rocked). Shidima has been
a disjointed, uninteresting comic (with weird art no less), and Warlands:
Age of Ice fails on so many levels that it's shocking.
The art is just fine, with DreamWave's typical excellently done computer
coloring (although I have to admit I'm starting to get fed up with color
comics... That's a whole 'nother rant, though). The story, however, leaves
a lot to be desired. It's depressing and somewhat melodramatic.
Those of you who picked up the first series of Warlands may remember
Zeph, the young blind boy with a bow and magical powers. Because the
story arc was only 12 issues long and mostly focused on the older
characters, you didn't get to know him too well. Well, fast forward 150
years. Zeph has used his magic to stabilize his age, he's an adult now
and has been for a really long time. That's not all that's changed. The
world has frozen over, and no one knows why. These winged people,
Ryotians, I think, have taken over. Magic isn't much appreciated by
these winged guys. Zeph is #1 on their most wanted list, and plenty of
head hunters have tried to bring him in, it seems, and have had no luck.
Enter Elene, daughter of Marisana the elf, and that blonde knight-type
guy whose name I forgot (Jerrel?). Both of her parents are dead,
Marisana just preceding the start of this story. Elene has sought out
Zeph to tell him this, and I think ask for his help or give him some other
important message... That was in my absent issue 1. Elene is
accompanied by Tahjarra Darren, a cool tough-chick human
tracker/guide who was hired to track Zeph down and beat things up for
Elene, apparently. So far she's my favorite character in this dreary series
(although I feel a strange need to root for the Ryotians... They've got
wings, darn it!).
The big problem is... Remember how I said the world is frozen over?
Snow, ice, cold winds, all that... Well, Zeph and all the other men are
dressed sensibly. They don't want frost bite. But Elene and Tahjarra?
Sure, they wear cloaks... And that's about it! Tahjarra looks like she
escaped from the harem in Artesia (the victim of last month's review),
wearing some sort of fur thong and the weirdest top... Brief leather at the
very top, and belly-dancer veil at the bottom.... What the heck is up with
that? Elene's outfit barely covers more. Oh yeh, they both wear gloves
and boots, as if that makes much difference.
The world has been frozen over for between 75-150 years, I'm not sure.
You'd think in that time they'd learn to make some warm clothes for the
womenfolk, otherwise their most interesting extremities would freeze off!
I could tolerate these outfits in a climate that permitted them....
Tropical Vacation would work. Elves running around on the beach in
bikinis... Sure, that works! Even in a temperate forest, or even a desert
(as long as they're not worried about sunburn and skin cancer). But not in
the freaking frozen tundra of the armageddon!!!!!
And I could even ignore that if the story was engaging enough to keep
me from wondering why Tahjarra's cheeks haven't frozen off, but it isn't!
It's a ho-hum, the world is screwed and we need to figure out how to fix it
(they're pretty sure it happened because they pissed off a dragon by
waking her up in one of the last issues of the first Warlands... Now, let's
remember the lesson taught to us by a better comic... Let sleeping
dragons lie!) story. If it doesn't pick up in a few issues, I'll be dropping
it.
As a final note, there's a brief preview comic for Warlands: Banished
Knights attached to the back of W:AoI. If you can't get enough of
vampires of all sorts, it might bear checking out. If you're fed up with
vampires, there are many more worthy publications awaiting your money.
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