February 2003 Time once again for another installment of "Confessions of a Newbie", and, I might add, time for me to go and update my character bio. Shortly after this hits "press", my wife and I will have been married for 23 years. So much for all those who said we’d never make it past a year. Hopefully, I’ll get past this bug I’m fighting for the third time in as many months and we’ll be able to go out to the Renaissance Festival on Sunday for our anniversary. Before I begin, I’d like to take a moment to congratulate our son, Joe, who has achieved the illustrious status of Warlord in the Mage Knight gaming community. Like most parents, we dreamed that our son would one day aspire to such heights, which is odd considering that, when he was born, Mage Knight hadn’t been developed yet. This month, I’ve been playing with something that many gamers enjoy tinkering with when they’re not actively playing the game. Namely, miniatures. I’m in the process of painting a pewter dragon figure, not because I need it for a game, but just because it looks cool. Along with it, I’m painting up an elven archer for my wife (since it looks a lot like her character in the MMORPG we all play) and a wizard figure for myself, to go in a diorama type scene with the dragon. Painting miniatures is an enjoyable pastime endorsed by optometrists everywhere, since trying to paint microscopically tiny details will drive nearly anyone to their nearest optometry lab for an eye check. If you, like me, have eyed those nifty looking pewter miniatures at the game store, and given thought to buying some and painting them, here’s what you’ll need to get to go with them: Paints. Duh. It’s really hard to paint anything without paint. What we’ve found works pretty well, and which was recommended to my son by others who paint these miniatures, are the latex craft paints available at your local Wallymart. However, my experience is that you’ll need something else as well. Primer. Latex paints don’t always adhere well to bare metal, so a base coat of a neutral colored automotive primer paint works to "prep" the metal for the detail painting. Tip: Scrub the figure with a soft toothbrush and some mild dish soap before any painting. Molded figures of any kind, metal, plastic, etc, will often have a residue of a release agent left on the surface following the manufacture process, and this will inhibit the paint from sticking. If you’re going to be painting any figures, take a little time to clean them well first. It’ll worth your while, and you don’t have to tell your sister that you used her toothbrush to clean the gangrenous armies of hell. Brushes. Again, duh. Cheap brushes are very tempting, especially when your credit application to buy good brushes is disapproved, and you can’t find a ready buyer for your firstborn child. You’ll want a variety of brushes covering the range of large (for painting big areas) to extremely tiny, for giving you crossed eyes as you try to paint a pupil on a microscopic eyeball. Any artist will tell you that good brushes are worth their weight in gold, which is slightly less than what the art store will charge you for them. When you price good brushes, you’ll understand where the term "Starving artists" came from. You cannot afford to buy both brushes and food in the same week, unless you happen to be Bill Gates, in which case, you’ll probably hire a starving artist to paint your figures for you anyway. Unless you happen to be 16 years old and have the eyes of a hawk, you’ll find a magnifying hood very helpful in painting miniatures. This is a nifty little device that fits on your head like a visor, but flips down in front of your eyes with magnifying lenses so you can see all the mistakes you make trying to paint the miniature. These are also very good for keeping moments light around the house, because your family is likely to laugh and snicker each time you put it on, since it makes you look like a dweeb. You, however, will get the last laugh when you hold up your stunningly painted figure, and in your best dweeby voice announce, "Look what I’ve done!", which will elicit the responses you’ve been waiting to hear, such as, "Your colors are all wrong." or, "The right eyeball is 3 microns larger than the left!" If, as was the case for the dragon figure I’m painting, you need to assemble the figure, you’ll need a suitable adhesive. Many figure painters use cyanoacrylate adhesive, better known as "Super glue", but super glue has certain drawbacks. One is that it’s very easy to glue the figure to your fingers when trying to glue it together. While this keeps you from dropping it when you paint it, it can be somewhat uncomfortable when you sleep, and really gets in the way when you type. The other drawback to super glue is that it is lousy at filling gaps, which often show up when you try to put the figure together, no matter how well it went together when you were just "dry fitting" it. For this reason, I chose to use an epoxy type compound known as "J B Weld". J B Weld is an adhesive designed for high stress applications such as engine repair, and keeping shoes on 3 year old children. It takes a while to set up, but once it does, you have a very strong bond that can also be filed smooth to match the contours of the figure. The drawback is, once it sets up, if you screwed up, it will stay that way nearly forever. Make sure you get your 3 year old’s shoes on the right feet when using J B Weld. A good set of needle files is pretty much essential to painting miniatures. A set of needle files will contain a variety of little files of various shapes which are useful for cleaning molding "flash" out of tight spaces. They’re also good for scratching the daylights out of intricate details if you’re not careful, or for poking the cat with after it jumps on your lap right in the middle of trying to carefully file some molding flash clean. Molding flash will detract from the appearance of your figure in several ways. One, it can make your figure look oddly deformed, as if they have an extra finger growing out of the back of their head, for instance. While your character might find that occasionally useful, you probably don’t want it anyway. It can also keep pieces from matching up well during assembly, making the arms you just glued on look like they were, well, glued on. Yes, a well painted figure can be an interesting curio on your desk, or a stunning visual aid in an RPG. It can also be an enjoyable way to spend the hours in the rubber room you’re likely to find yourself in after spending hours painting a figure, only to discover that the cat knocked it off your desk into the trash can, and that it is now on its way to your local landfill. Visit your local game store today, and check out the incredible assortment of metal figures that you, too, can paint. Just tell them "Mad Rick" sent you.

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