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I guess I can make this a tradition - last year I wrote a column on things to buy geeks, and things which geeks could buy for their "normal" friends and family members at the gaming shop. This year, I'm doing the same. In fact, many of my suggestions will be exactly the same, but I'm counting on you to have a short enough memory not to remember what I wrote about 12 months ago (heck, I sure can't remember that far back!).
It's rather amusing that I'm writing this column at all. It's exactly 1 month until Christmas as I'm writing this, and I haven't done anything to get ready for the holidays (other than buy a used copy of A Dark Noel, the Projekt Gothic holiday album *giggles insanely*). Not a single gift bought, nary a stitch on a beaded present, heck, I haven't even thought about what I'm getting anyone. Granted, it's hard to think past BBQed turkey and home made cranberry sauce. Thanksgiving is a great holiday. . . no presents, no decorations, no kids banging on your door, just family togetherness, lots of food, and dirty jokes (if you're in my family, at least). However, by the time CT goes up, I'll be forced to start shopping and crafting, and I might as well drag you down with me!
Without further ado, here is a list of things to buy for geeks. Dear readers, please feel free to forward or print this up and give it to your clueless relatives who still think that Dungeons and Dragons is a bunch of maladjested teenagers running around in sewers summoning demons.
- Munchkin!!! For those who don't know, Munchkin is a great card game which Chris Reid and I received for the holidays last year. If you've ever played with a group of D&D nuts who mini-maxed their characters and did everything they could to become uber-powerful faster than the rest of the group, and get more loot than everyone else, Munchkin is the game for you! The whole idea of the game is to reach level 10 first, by slaying monsters, selling treasure, and bribing the GM. Backstabbing your fellow dungeon crawler along the way might help, too! This game is made even more fun by the humorous cards- fight the Shadow Nose, or the M.T. Suit, using your Sneaky Bastard Sword!
If the geek on your shopping list already has Munchkin, you can always get them Star Munchkin, Munchkin Fu, or an expansion pack . . . Unnatural Axe has been out for quite a while, and I believe that Clerical Errors (containing cards by Pete Abrams of Sluggy Freelance fame and Phil Foglio of Girl Genius and other cool stuff) is slated to come out in time for the holidays.
- Cheapass Games! These are quirky, silly, cheaply produced board games. They are small, easily portable, don't have too many pieces to lose, and are lots of fun for geeks and non-geeks alike. Oh, and did I mention that they are CHEAP? These games are great to play while you're waiting for that guy who's always late for D&D. Or play them on Christmas after you've unwrapped all your presents. Or play them at school on your lunch break . . . or at work! Last year, Chris, my brother and I spent just about all of Christmas night playing Cheapass Games.
- Dice. You can always buy a gamer more dice, no matter how many dice they have. There are a lot of novelty dice these days . . . Dice carved from genuine stone, dice shaped like dragons, silver-plated dice, pewter dice, loaded dice, light up dice, giant dice . . . even glow-in-the-dark dice with alien faces and space ships instead of dots.
- If you know your geek and his gaming habits well, buy him sourcebooks. Gaming books cost a lot and most geeks are pretty poor . . . probably because we'd rather game on Saturday than work overtime. We've spent probably $200 on D&D books, and we only have a small percentage of the books available. I shudder to think of the cost of owning, say, every Rifts book in existence. A casual perusal of your favorite gamer's book shelf will tell you what games they play and what books they have (assuming they haven't left their books all over their desk, or loaned them out to people, or left them at the GM's house, or . . . ). A quick trip to the gaming shop will help fill those gaps. It's good to know what sort of character they like to play, too. Someone who always plays sneaky rogues isn't going to be interested in Defenders of the Faith (a sourcebook for paladins and clerics).
- Cthulhu merchandise. Cthulhu mania is sweeping the gaming community! T-shirts, bumper stickers, and plush Cthulhu abound (there's one sitting on top of my monitor right now). These range in price from a buck to around $25 or more, so you've got a wide range to choose from. You could even buy them a collection of HP Lovecraft's stories, or the Call of Cthulhu roleplaying game.
- If the geek in question plays a Collectable Card Game or Miniatures Game, buy them a booster pack! Be sure you buy the right game . . . I swear, there are half a dozen different Mage Knight lines and I can never remember which one(s) my brother plays. These make a great gift . . . Buy one as a stocking stuffer, or several as a more substantial gift.
- On the other hand, if your geekly friend is a miniature painter, she's sure to welcome some nice new brushes, fancy metallic paints, or a really cool pewter miniature to paint. Remember that miniature painting is fine work- the smaller the brush, the better.
- Silly little games. You can find all sorts of humorous games at your local gaming shop. Guillotine. Ninja Burger. Monkeys on the Moon. Elixir (my personal favorite). When in doubt, these are always a good gift.
- See if the gaming shop offers gift certificates. It sure beats the hell out of a Wal-Mart gift card!
But what if I don't want to go to the gaming shop?!?
Well, if you insist upon shopping at the mall and department stores, you can still find a few things that your geek might like!
- Distinctive pencils. Especially if you play with a dozen people like I do, pencils go missing really quickly. Someone borrows it and forgets to give it back. Give your geek friend a brightly colored pencil that they can easily spot and say "Hey! Give that back!". Remember that most geeks don't use pens, they often need to erase and change things on character sheets.
- Fantasy artwork books. I personally recommend anything by Brian Froud or Alan Lee. Most book stores will have a nice selection of fantasy and sci-fi art books . . . Illustrated guides to Middle Earth, the Star Wars encyclopedia, pictures of naked faeries, all that good stuff.
- Books on medieval weaponry, castles, etc. These are great sources of knowledge and inspiration for gamers! Also look for books on martial arts. I have a smattering of books on such subjects and I often refer to them when I'm looking for unusual weapons.
- Mythology and Folklore books. Are you getting the idea yet that I encourage literacy? Again, these are a great source of inspiration, and also entertainment. Many's the hour I've spent reading tales of faeries, heroes and gods. Don't be afraid to go with something a bit more obscure, too. Norse and Greek mythology are pretty common . . . spice things up with Celtic, Egyptian, Native American, Aztec, Polynesian, Japanese, African, whatever you can find! If your geek doesn't like it, send the books to me. I promise to read them cover to cover.
- Anime DVDs! Be sure you know what sort of anime they like. I know quite a few geeks who would swoon with joy upon finding the $350 Uber-Super Complete Trigun DVD set under the tree, and also a few who would say "Uhhh . . . what's this?" Also make sure that the DVD includes both subtitled and dubbed versions . . . most Anime fans have a distinct preference and can't stand being forced to watch the other.
- When all else fails, get them a nice "Trapper Keeper" style binder. Mine currently has about half a dozen folders, two or three spiral bound notebooks, and assorted loose character sheets tucked into it. After gaming for a few years, most people have amassed huge stacks of character sheets and notes. I never throw mine out "just in case". It's nice to have a spiffy, zippered binder to keep it all organized in.
What should I absolutely never buy a geek?
- Collectable Card Games or Miniatures games. Never, ever buy someone one of these games which they don't already play. I swear, these things are like crack. People get addicted and spend all of their money on them. Don't add another habit!
- Modules. Unless you know they are a GM who uses these, don't buy them a module. Players have no use for them and most GMs who I know don't use them, either.
- Sourcebooks for a game they don't already play. This is kind of like buying a PC game for someone who has a Mac. Hey, it's a nice thought, but they won't get any use out of it. The one exception to this is the EarthDawn core rulebook. Everyone loves EarthDawn; most people just don't know it yet.
- Definitely don't buy modules for games they don't already play. Chris still has a module for the DC Super Heroes RPG which a well-meaning relative bought for him when he was a teenager because they knew he liked that role-playing stuff. Well, it's a nice thought, but it's the only DC Super Hero book we own.
- Religious tracts decrying the evils of role playing. Ok, these may make a good gag gift for a geek with a healthy sense of humor, but PLEASE . . . if you're worried about our salvation, this is not the way to tell us!
Please note: The exceptions to 1 and 3 are if the geek has specifically mentioned how they'd like to try such-and-such game but don't have the money to buy the starter deck/rule books. If this is the case, a new game is the perfect gift!
Hey, what about the non-geeks? What should I buy them?
Well, I'm glad you asked! There are a few things which you can buy for those silly non-geeks, while still patronizing your local gaming shop.
- "Normal" games. Both of the gaming shops I go to carry a selection of board and card games (actually, one of them is mainly a board game shop which has gaming books in the back and hires cool people who play Rifts). You can usually find something for just about anyone here. If you're buying for a couple, try to find games that are for 2 players. Chris and I have many games which we've never even opened because we need at least 3 players, and whenever we play with other people, they all want to play Munchkin. Games which couples can play together are great!
- Cheapass games. I maintain my opinion from last year. Anyone who wouldn't enjoy a Cheapass game probably doesn't belong on your holiday shopping list to start with. 'Nuff said.
- If your gaming shop happens to carry comics as well, look for the illustrated version of Neil Gaiman's Stardust. Gaiman's beautiful faerie tale combines perfectly with Charles Vess' delicate artwork. Everyone I know who has read this book has enjoyed it, and the illustrated version is even better.
- RPGs based on their favorite movie/TV show/Anime/video game/comic book. You might just get them hooked on roleplaying, and if you don't, they'll probably appreciate the addition to their collection. Off the top of my head, I can think of RPGs based on Trigun, Sailor Moon, various Star Trek series, Star Wars, The Wheel of Time, and Everquest.
- Miniatures. You don't have to be a gamer to appreciate a nicely painted fantasy miniature. As long as someone is just geeky enough to like dragons, unicorns or faeries, they should love this unique gift.
- Puzzles. Jigsaw or word puzzles, take your pick. Pretty good "generic" gift.
- Just look around . . . Depending on your gaming shop, you might find fantasy novels, action figures, funny bumper stickers, plush dragons, t-shirts, graphic novels, the possibilities aren't anywhere near endless, but you should still be able to find something they'll enjoy.
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