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Dear opportunistic merchandisers,
Thank you for the oft-repeated offers of memorabilia for this year's Presidential Election. So far, you have tried selling me plates, coins, magazine covers, newspaper front-pages, DVD's, books, and other such stuff to celebrate President-Elect Barack Obama. Apparently, you think we Americans are so stupid that we will forget who our President is shortly after the inauguration, and will need all this kitsch to remind us.
Granted, there are a lot of willfully ignorant people in this country, who when interviewed before the election didn't know whether Sarah Palin was John McCain's running mate, or Barack Obama's. They'll likely only recognize Joe Biden's name once the media begins their regularly scheduled humiliation of the man in what has historically been the most useless office in our government. So yeah, you may have a point that we'll need reminders.
We do, however, remember the other such commemorative items you've sold, as we see the Elvis plates in thrift stores, the Princess Di books in the recycle bins, the Pope John Paul coins alongside the other silver at the coin shop (worth no more than the going price of the metal), and the magazines, newspapers, videos, and other such stuff equally worthless because millions of people believed you when you told them this would become a "priceless heirloom" that would be "treasured forever."
I understand why you're doing this. We've elected a new President, and Mr. Obama is getting to enjoy that "honeymoon period" of optimism that comes with a new administration. America is listening to his plans and promises, and hoping to see tremendous improvements in our nation once he takes office.
You have to strike while the iron is hot, because - historically - the President is lucky if he manages to maintain an approval rating of 40% to 50%. Nothing against Mr. Obama, as this would be true of any person elected to the office. The simple truth is that he cannot please everyone, and public favor is a fickle thing to curry. He could ride a wave of approval for years, or his popularity could tank faster than Milli Vanilli's. Politics is like that, and it's mighty hard to sell souvenir knick-knacks when the subject thereof is having to make hard decisions that many people don't like.
Will Mr. Obama profit at all from the sales of trinkets bearing his likeness? Or, assuming he doesn't need the additional wealth or the potential conflict-of-interest such licensing might present, will any percentage of the profits be donated to a charity dear to the Obama family? I suspect the purchasing of all this stuff only pads some corporate mogul's already overstuffed financial portfolio, while making mine just a wee bit thinner.
So, I hope you're not offended that I'm not at all impressed by your commercials showing the man gazing longingly at the Obama Commemorative Plate displayed on his desk. In fact, I find it just a wee bit creepy, because someone that obsessed with any politician is likely a stalker who either will try and profess great love for the person, or commit acts of violence against them. Here's a clue, merchandisers: I work in a large factory with between 10,000 and 15,000 employees, and never once in nearly thirty years in this factory have I seen someone displaying a commemorative plate on their desk, let alone one portraying a politician. If you're going to advertise, at least make some attempt to make your commercials halfway believable.
Finally, telling us that something is going to be "collectible" is often the most sure-fire way to guarantee that the item is going to steadily depreciate, because what really makes a collectible appreciate in value is that only a few people think to carefully preserve it, or when the original supply was incredibly low, and the future demand will be conversely high. Despite your claims that production numbers will be severely limited, we know you're going to keep cranking out those plates and coins for as long as you have ready buyers to snap them up.
So, my congratulations to Mr. Obama, and I hope those who voted for him will be happy with their choice, and that those who voted against him will give him a fair chance to prove himself and won't start judging him harshly even before the inauguration. As he prepares to shoulder the burden of leading this country, my prayers are that he will have wisdom and strength to make the right decisions, and that he will do an exceptional job in the Oval Office.
I'm still not buying the souvenirs, though.
And no, I would not have bought them for McCain if he'd won, either. I think it'd be a wee bit creepy to stare longingly at his image on a plate, too.
Sincerely,
Rick Higginson
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