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It's Labor Day Weekend as I write this - the last long Holiday Weekend of the Summer, and a weekend generally given to outdoor cookouts, parades, and trying to forget that school is starting back up, followed by the busy Winter holidays. How am I celebrating this Labor Day Weekend? We're on an extended weekend trip to Utah to visit my in-laws.
"Oh, man, Rick," you might be thinking. "That really sucks to have to blow the last weekend of summer that way." If I were anything like the typical sit-com husband, I would have to agree with you. To most men on television shows, the prospect of spending any time at all with the wife/girlfriend's family is right up there on their "want to do list" with such delightful things as root canals, colonoscopies, smashing body parts with hammers, and eating quiche.
Since I had to surrender my "Man-Card" years ago for the transgressions of asking for directions and enjoying shopping with my wife, I'm not worried about saying that I enjoy visiting my in-laws. Seriously, how could I not like these people? They let me marry their daughter, after all, and even helped us have a rather nice wedding ceremony.
I could say that visiting the in-laws is a good excuse to get some camping in, as we hauled the popup trailer with us, and plan a stopover at the Grand Canyon on the way back, but that wouldn't be completely accurate, either. We wanted to visit anyway, and would have with or without the camping option.
Part of it is that life is short, and as we learned last year with my mother, you can't count on unlimited opportunities to visit the people you love. While we shouldn't live our lives in the constant fear that something is going to happen, we should also not ignore the ever-present possibility that tomorrow may not cooperate with our plans.
Another aspect is that, regardless of the relationship we have with our partners in life, their parents will still be their parents. Some rifts we have no control over, but our partners should not have to feel that it's an odious chore for us if they want to spend some time with their family. We shouldn't have to be dragged to a visit, nor act like we're being invaded if the visit comes our direction. If there is any stress over the visit, it should not be due to us giving our partners grief over it.
I was blessed to have been given some good advice when Nancy and I got married nearly thirty three years ago, and one piece was to make the effort to get along with her family - more than just tolerating them, but rather learning to love them like my own family, because, by virtue of the relationship with my wife, they were my own family now as well.
It was good advice, and it paid off in dividends of which I cannot even begin to calculate the worth. I've been referring to them as my in-laws, but when I do, it is merely to avoid confusion. When I talk with them, or my wife and I are talking about them, they are Mom and Dad. It is an address of both respect and affection, and an acknowledgement that I did not remove a daughter from their family. We joined our families together.
If there is any problem with them, it's that they always want to send us home with stuff. If I manage to get through this weekend without acquiring an old railroad switch stand, I'll be surprised. Dad has three, and has already asked if I have room to take one home. I have no idea what I'd do with it, but as a long-time railfan, I think it would be cool to have. I do not, however, have room to haul one home, but I suspect my arm will get twisted at least a couple more times while we're here.
Yeah, if that's the worst I have to deal with, then, God love 'em, I'm mighty darned lucky. Plus, we get some camping to boot.
I may still have to figure out how to haul a switch stand from Utah to Arizona, though.
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