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Jason X - B-movies just got an upgrade.
Last night was a night of nights. I tagged along with
my brother, my sister and law and two other guys to go
see Jason X. I knew it was going to be amazing, the
previews had me ready and the stuff i'd read had made
me even more eager, But nothing could prepare me for
the show that I was about to see. Jason X is the movie of
the year.
The story starts up in year 2010. A research facility
named Crystal Lake Research Facility is preparing to
cryogenetically freeze Vorhees(that rhymes) because
supposedly, theres no other way to contain him. Him
being the bulky mass of a man he is. So of course
everything goes wrong right away, a few people die and
then this chick puts her life on the line for the sake of
mankind and freezes with Jason. Skip ahead a couple
centuries. A crew of space people finds the lab and take
up the two bodies to their space labs where they begin
to unthaw. Jason is put on a table for analysis whilst the
girl is unthawed right away. Once she comes back to
life, her main concern is keeping Jason locked up. The
leader of the pack won't have this. Why? Because he's
gotten word that he can sell Jason's body for quite a bit
of money if he can get him to a certain place. So on with
the adventure. Jason unthaws, kills a few people right
away and the basic Jason stuff happens.
This movie had me giggling to myself all the way
through. The acting was amazing (sub par), the kills
were mad bloody and the whole future aspect has never
been played out better in any other of these horror movie
rehashes. Even Leprechaun in Space has nothing on
this baby.
Another great thing about Jason X is in a way, it was
a big tribute to the old school Friday the 13th films. For
example, there's a whole scene that pretty much satires
80s horror flicks, and it happens in the hologram room, I
won't give away too much, but it involves two topless
chicks, Jason, a tree and two sleeping bags. Then
there's the ending that kind of pokes fun at the idiocy of
all the characters in the film.
One thing I liked is the way that they jokingly tried to
explain the way Jason is. Supposedly, when teen
couples are making love nearby, Jason twitches, and
thats why he always goes after teenage couples while
they're in the middle of their passion. Bastard.
My favorite character has definitely got to be Jason...
ofcourse. But on the good guys, I'd have to say the
cyborg chick, I mean she has removable glass nipples
and she gets reprogrammed into a walking John Woo
film. she knows all forms of Kung Fu and totally kicks so
much ass. She was so awesome, I think she should get
her own movie, but only if it involves bad scripts and a lot
of asian people with machine guns.
Something I haven't talked about yet is Jason's new
appearance, the robot Jason, I haven't talked about it yet
because it barely comes into play at all. He only mutates into
the "higher" being when there's ten minutes left to the end.
So no worries, old school Jason reigns through most of the film
and new school Jason is just a buffoon that gets ten minute screen time.
To those who want a great cheesy film, check it out.
To those who want a great love story, go see Jason X.
It's very involving. And to those who were worried about
Robot Jason, as I said earlier, he stays old school till the
end. This has been me, and I am signing out ( sorry for
the lack of article in the last few months, I've been lazy)
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