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I almost forgot - one last thing - and I think I'm going to White Sands soon so I have to make this quick. The answer to another question I bet you've been asking yourself. Why- if exohumans are only compatible with other exohumans- are there so god damn many of us? It's not just the Magellan breeding program. That's only been going on since 1948 though the Germans started a variant right after Jesse Owens races in 1936.
The real truth is one out of eight fertility problems are, unknown to most doctors, caused by meeting of super powered and non powered individuals. Super powers are more common than you one might expect. It's just that most super powers aren't that super. Ever known a guy who was insanely good at those claw machines that are so well rigged as to be next to impossible and yet somehow his girlfriend always comes out with at least one plush dolls for every dollar he puts into the machine? That's a super power. Or the girl who usually arrives ten minutes early for the bus and it is always three minutes late but the one day she shows up on time and needs that three minutes to get to work by 8:15 the bus left on time? That's a super power.
Again - this is important. Not now- but when they come, it will be important. You'll have to remember all this. You'll have to pass this message on. That way- when the time comes others will know what I know.
You sure you can remember all that buddy?
"Woof!" came the reply.
Good boy, Tuffy.
"Lucas, this is a half baked, poorly thought out scheme and most likely, will result in failure. When I'm running a mission . . . " Major Patriot hissed.
"Got any better ideas, Poop?"
"No," admitted Major Patriot.
"Don't worry, we'll wing it," smiled Lucas confidently. "Hey Pathfinder! Can you teleport us into the back rooms behind the nave in the main Church of Histology?"
"Sure, Harmonics!" replied Pathfinder enthusiastically.
Lucas dashed over and kissed Ellie goodbye.
"Enough sentimentality," barked Major Patriot, "Explorers, let's GO!"
The Explorers pathed. So did Ellie.
Major Patriot found herself staring at the assembled congregation of the Temple of Histology. Lucas stared at Ellie, who was staring wide eyed at the large mass of people looking menacingly in their direction.
"God DAMN it, Harmonics," Poupette hissed, breaking Lucas out of his reverie, "I told you we needed a better plan!"
"It's OK, Poop, "Harmonics said coolly. "Juanita, can you hold 'em back with your force field?"
"If Agent Force helps me with the force fields, I can," replied Juanita, starting to glow pink as she powered up.
"It would be my pleasure," drawled Agent Force, extending his arms.
"OK Explorers," shouted Major Patriot, "let's go down the aisle and into the back rooms! Be prepared for the unexpected. Remember, Andrew is being controlled by the Wolff Pack and Joe Bridge, so do not obey his orders!"
"Yes, Ma'am!" chorused the League of Explorers as they started to follow Major Patriot down the aisle.
Lucas watched the Histologists press up against the force fields, trying to break through to the Explorers, "It might not be pretty getting out of here," he said quietly to Ellie. "In fact, it might not be good when we get to the back rooms, either. You have a choice. You can probably walk out the front door here and get home safely, or you can stick with me. What's it gonna be, Ellie?"
"I think I'll stick with you, Lucas," said Ellie smiling, leaning into him.
Together they walked down in the aisle behind the Explorers.
"Besides," said Ellie cheerily, "No one's at home. Professor Callidy is here, too."
Lucas groaned.
Chloe looked at Professor Callidy. They had both naturally drifted towards the back of the veritable hoard of heroes making their way through the Temple. "Well, we're both painfully out of place," she said, trying to force enough chipperness into her voice to hide her nervousness.
The professor flipped back one of his pink bunny ears and smiled. "Nonsense. You have your super-powers, I have a ridiculous costume. Between the two of us, we make a hero."
"So which one of us has the fighting skills?"
"Er . . . I was hoping it would be you."
She flexed one of her spaghetti-thin arms and looked at him doubtfully. Not that he could make out the shape under her boxy flannel pajamas. "Honestly, all I'm good at is sleeping."
"Perhaps it won't be an issue at all," he said, in what failed to be a reassuring tone. Perhaps he would have been more successful, if not for the sudden sound of a scuffle at the front of the group.
Chloe couldn't see around the mass of mutants ahead of her, but there was no mistaking the meaty thud of flesh striking flesh. Soon the fisticuffs were joined by the sound and sight of a dozen different super-powers firing off: bursts of sound, rainbow flashes of light, glowing pink forcefields.
"My power sucks," she muttered under her breath.
"At least you have one," Callidy said, as his hand landed conveniently on a bookcase. "Oh, what's this now? A treatise on the Histholgy doctrine? Not surprising, I suppose."
The volume that he'd drawn from the bookcase was huge, as if scaled for the man himself. She'd seen unabridged dictionaries that were smaller. To her extreme shock and dismay, the professor thumbed the tome open and his eyes flicked rapidly across the pages. "This is no time for reading!" she said.
"There's a wall of experienced heroes between us and the villains. Hmm, honestly, what bizarre beliefs about the properties of the soul. Have you ever studied Histhology, Chloe?"
She had no time to answer his ridiculous question, as despite his assertions of their safety, an enemy had gotten through the ranks of their friends. Chloe found herself suddenly faced by a slender man in a flowing robe, armed with a longsword. Light glinted off the blade and she was suddenly very aware of her weakness and mortality.
"HELP!" she squeaked as she scrambled to get behind the professor's pink-clad bulk.
The man swung his sword in a sweeping arc, and Chloe was sure that she was about to die, or at least lose a limb. But at the very last moment, the professor clapped the sword's blade between the pages of the book he'd been reading. The loud thump of the pages slamming together momentarily drowned out the beating of her heart.
The cultist stared aghast at the book. "How dare you defile these holy pages!" he said.
While he was distracted by his own dismay, Chloe darted out from behind Callidy and put her meager knowledge of fighting to use - she racked the man neatly in the balls. As perfectly as if they'd rehearsed it, the professor pulled the book away from the sword and clocked the now doubled-over cultist on the head. He went down in a heap.
Chloe grabbed the sword, and was surprised at how heavy it was. "Oof. I can't use this thing!"
"Then don't," Callidy said, then looked sadly at the book. "Horrible way to treat a book . . . but then again, given the subject matter, I suppose I shouldn't feel too guilty." The tome was split nearly in half, so he tossed it dismissively onto the unconscious form of their would-be killer.
At the front of the scrum, a voice called out. "We need reinforcements! Wake the sleepers!"
Chloe wasn't the sort to normally curse, but an "aw shit" escaped her lips at those words. She wanted to hope that the sleepers were just more cultists, but she couldn't help but think that it meant something more ominous.
The ranks of heroes parted, and Major Patriot strode up to the mismatched pair. There was blood on her boots. She glanced at the passed-out cultist, raised an eyebrow, then turned her attention to Chloe. "Somnambula. You heard that?"
"About the sleepers? Yeah." A shiver ran through her body as she realized what was coming next.
"I need you to do your best to find out who or what is sleeping, and keep them that way. We don't have time to waste fighting every one of the Cult's minions. We've got to stop the summoning."
She looked around at the chaos. "I can't sleep here!" She lied. Already, she could feel her eyelids drooping at the very suggestion of slumber.
"Can't isn't an option, soldier. Professor, make sure she stays safe." Leaving no room for argument, she spun on her heel and worked her way back through the ranks, shouting orders as she went.
Chloe yawned against her will and started to slump against the wall. "You heard -yawn- the woman. Don't let anyone step on . . . ."
And next thing she knew, she was in her little dream haven. "Tuffy! We've got some sleepers to find." But the dog wasn't there.
Major Patriot and the rest of the group were headed towards the throng of Histhologists and fists began to fly as the throng tried their best to hold off the oncoming rush of super powered heroes.
"Major, Harmonics, get to that target room," Agent Force said, unleashing a blast of force energy that took down five cultists.
"I'm military and don't take orders from a Secret Service Agent," she said punching down two church members at once.
"Look, you two are the best chance we have to stopping this thing from happening," Force said.
"Agent Force, Major behind you," The Elementalist said sweeping his staff through the air and unleashing a gust of wind that knocked two cultists into a wall causing them to be knocked unconscious.
"That's four," he said.
"I still lead by one," Force said.
"Hey kid, I got an idea," Major Patriot said.
The three of them fought to where they could meet in the middle and stood back to back.
"How about rings of fire around groups of the cultists?" Major Patriot asked decking two more Histologists.
"It would be a good delaying strategy," Agent Force said unleashing a yellow force blast to knock down three more cultists.
"How about a little lightning to go with it?" the kid asked flipping two of the throng to the ground with his staff.
"Just the fire," Patriot said throwing a kick to the gut of the nearest robed figure. "All Explorers, start herding the bad guys into corners."
They managed to get about a quarter of the group into the four corners of the room. All the rest of the cultists were either too injured to fight or knocked out cold from the previous melee.
"Kid, do your thing," Force said.
The Elementalist did a series of martial arts type moves and fire leapt from his hands around the groups of cultists.
Major Patriot gathered the three others just as one of the cultists was stupid enough to try to run through the fire. He was easily extinguished by some water the kid carried with him. Unfortunately the switch from fire to water broke his concentration and one of the rings of fire came down.
"Crap in a hat," Agent Force said as twenty five Histologists came at them with fists and improvised melee weapons.
"Major, you and the others go.. we can handle these on our own," Force said.
The Major and the others started to make their way to the room where the thirteenth beast was being summoned. She could hardly wait to see the look on Bridge's face when she showed up.
As she shoved her way to the room, she grabbed Ilsalynn by the arm.
"Come on, Dr. Traeger Bridge!" said Major Patriot in a conspiratorial way and she linked her arm into Ilsalynn's, "I need your help in talking some sense into a couple of men."
"Tuffy!" yelled Chloe, "Tuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuufffffyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!"
There was no answer. Frustrated, Chloe started to look at the dreamscape around her. She was on a dry patch of ground, surrounded by a sweltering swamp. In some ways, it reminded her of her jaunt to the late Cretaceous Period with Angelica, except that here all of the foliage was orange and blue. "Oh yay!" thought Chloe sarcastically, "I guess I get to slog through the mud. Where's that dog with wings when I need him?"
Surveying the misty scenery, Chloe decided that the light looked decidedly brighter off to her west, wherever west was in her alien dreamscape. The longer she stared at the glowing magenta in the distance, the more Chloe felt the magical tug of something indescribable pulling her forward.
She sighed.
Chloe rolled up her pajama bottoms to her knees and waded into the swamp, heading for the unknown. Her feet made loud sucking sounds as she slopped towards the west.
"Come ON, Harmonics!" bellowed Major Patriot down the hallway, "Mr. Weinstein is your friend, and every bit of emotional baggage we can load onto him, we need. Step it up, Mister!"
Harmonics blasted a couple of Histologists until their ears were bleeding. Ellie sheltered behind his back.
"Poop," he said conversationally as he turned and grabbed Ellie's hand, "You know what your problem is?"
"What?" asked Major Patriot.
"You have a stick shoved so far up your . . . "
"Shut up and come ON," yelled Major Patriot, blushing.
"She has a point, Lucas," said Ilsalynn, "I hear chanting coming from that room."
"Everyone's a party pooper," complained Lucas, "Come on Ellie, let's go make Andrew remember who his friends are."
Chloe kept plodding on towards the light. She wiped the sweat from her forehead with her pajama sleeve and wished she had some ice water. Up ahead was an orangish tree with drooping polygon leaves. Something glinted within the cypress like tree. As she got closer, she saw that they were water bottles. Chloe picked one from the tree, unscrewed the top and took a swig of cool, clean water. Giggling to herself, she resumed her walk. Thankfully, it looked like there might be solid ground up ahead. Chloe wondered if the next tree might have a bathtub and some soap. She giggled some more.
Chloe had a sudden thought. "Angelica! Hey Angelica, where are you?"
No answer.
"Figures," thought Chloe to herself as she took another drink of her water, "I'm a stranger in a strange land."
Major Patriot let go of Dr. Bridge-Traeger arm and scouted the room ahead. She came back and quietly took Ilsalynn forward. She motioned to Lucas and Ellie to be quiet and to follow. They crept up to the room and peered inside.
Joe Bridges was leading the chant of the Senior Histologists in the room. All of them were wearing black robes. On either side of the chamber, there were oblong obsidian containers, glowing magenta. Andrew Weinstein was standing in front of a large, complex piece of machinery in the center of the room. He was looking at the readouts, and making adjustments on the computer screen located on its left side. The Wolff Pack was no where to be seen.
Dr. Bridge-Traeger broke the rhythm of the chant by shouting, "Andy! Look at me!"
"I'm busy Ilsalynn," Andrew responded dispassionately as he went through computer fields, touching here, and making an adjustment there, "We can talk later."
"No we can't Andy," exclaimed Ellie, "We all need to talk to you now! You need to remember who your friends are."
"No!" stormed Joe Bridge, "Not now! We are on the verge of a new phase of existence . . . "
"Where all of our Founder's promises come true," exclaimed one of the senior Histologists, lurching forwards to shield Andy.
"In addition," explained Andrew, "I also get my brother back." Andrew finally had reached the last screen, and pushed the button. The machine, which had been humming along in a low monotone, began whirring in a higher pitch.
"It's not going to be like you think," said Lucas, "You are letting loose an evil on the world, which will enslave the universe."
"The universe will always be enslaved by someone or something," replied Andrew absently, observing the white glow that was forming in the middle of the machine.
Ilsalynn pushed forward towards Andrew, "Well, how about this Andrew? I love you! Will you marry me? I'm pregnant. Do you want your child enslaved? "
Andrew turned and stared, slackjawed. The machine started to whine higher.
Joe Bridge howled with jealous rage at his estranged wife, "Get her acolytes! Make her pay for her infidelity!"
"Oh crap!" exclaimed Lucas taking in a deep lung full of air . . .
Then everything happened at once. Major Patriot heard some one shouting something in Spanish as a powerful concussion knocked everyone flat and the entire room was bathed in a fleeting golden light. Scrambling to her feet, Major Patriot scanned the room, determined that the Histologists along with Joe Bridge and Andrew Weinstein were out cold. When looking for the source of the blast she discovered a large, powerful winged Hispanic man, flapping close to the ceiling. The lines of force were receding into his body. Estallida was standing in the doorway, grinning ear to ear.
"Who the hell is THAT?" demanded Major Patriot.
"Oh, just some Mayan serpent god that your boyfriend brought along," Estallida smugly replied.
"I might have to give Jeff a raise," said Major Patriot thoughtfully, rubbing her chin.
Suddenly, Andrew Weinstein's machine squealed in high C and the room was filled with bright white light . . .
Next: Families, Friends and Enemies
Characters created by Jesse N. Wiley and various authors
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